Favorite Book Memories

***BEFORE I BEGIN***

I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas this year, filled with family togetherness and of course, plenty of sweet ass presents (can’t forget those, hehe!). One of the things I got this year is shower gel that looks like a blood bag. I wonder what I’ll look like after I scrub myself with it. I’ll probably look like I just came back from a violent mosh pit. Oh dear. Hehe!

***FAVORITE BOOK MEMORIES***

Of course, the key to celebrating a holiday successfully is gratefulness for everything and everyone you have. And thus we have the topic for today’s blog, my five favorite book memories. This was originally done in a You Tube video by fellow author Jenna Moreci and I figured it was a good idea for me to do a list myself. Five doesn’t have to be the definitive number, but it’s one that works for both me and Jenna Moreci. If any of you, my lovely readers, want to do this, you’re more than welcome to. I’m actually curious to see what you guys put down as your favorite book memories. This can be anything from reading a book to writing one to buying one to…anything, really. Without flapping my gums any further, here are my top five in no particular order:

1. Reading “The Cleaner” by Brett Battles and becoming a full-time reader because of it. Stephen King said it best when he claimed if you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time nor the skills to write. I didn’t start taking this advice seriously until mid-2009 when I only had one more college class to take before I graduated. I certainly wouldn’t have become a born-again reader with the novels and memoirs my teachers had me read in college. While some of them were good and therefore worth rereading, most of them bored me to tears and made me regret taking those classes. I know college is supposed to be more about education than entertainment, but come on, seriously? When I read Brett Battles’ spy novel “The Cleaner”, I learned how much fun reading really can be. It was a fast paced book that spared me from the feeling of dragging my eyes across concrete. And thus began a long legacy of awesome reading and hopefully awesome writing on my part to go with it. I say hopefully with a lot of emphasis.
2. Joining the WSS. I know this sounds like I’m sucking up, but trust me, it isn’t. Sucking up implies that you don’t mean what you say. When I say that joining the WSS was one of the five best book-related things to happen to me, I say it with every fiber of my being. This Good Reads group holds weekly short story and poetry contests with no special prizes, just a friendly victory. Even more important than getting a victory is getting helpful advice from your peers, who in this case are empathetic and wise when it comes to their critiques. They taught me so much over the years and motivated me to turn the first installment of American Darkness into something that wasn’t cow shit. I’m still a zealous member of the WSS today and will be until the end of forever.
3. Befriending Marie Krepps. Just like the WSS, Marie, my beautiful beta reader and critique partner, has shown me the light when it comes to pumping out readable works of art. Her own published books and short stories are always delightful to read, so she knows what she’s talking about. She has a wicked sense of humor when she critiques my work, thus making the process as painless as possible. Unfortunately, she currently has a lot going on in her life that keeps her from doing what she wants to do, but even so, I’m grateful for every piece of advice and every review she’s given me over the years. I hope she can get things sorted out soon, because there are times when I miss having my Babe-a-Licious Mondo around. I call her that because of the Bubblicious Mondo chewing gum commercials of the mid-1990’s. She loves it. Hehe!
4. Reading “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky. Never before has a book ripped my heart to shreds and glued it back together again like this simply-written piece of young adult literature. A la Charlie, I know what it’s like to sit on the sidelines and love my favorite women from afar. We’re both introverts who don’t want to screw things up by putting ourselves out there. We both need our Sams and Patricks to bring us out into the light. While Charlie got to have the social experiences he wanted, I remain in the darkness. I am both frustrated and heartbroken when I see things through the eyes of Charlie. Thanks, Stephen Chbosky, for bringing me closer to tears than I’ve ever been.
5. Writing the Poison Tongue Tales story “Sitka the Nose Biter”. On the surface, this seems like just another fantasy story lost in the shuffle of much bigger projects. But Sitka the Nose Biter has sentimental value to me. The main character, Sitka, is a real life cat I adopted back in 2013. Her gray puffy fur and diva-like face reminded me of a witch or a cookie monster. Apparently, the people at Cat of the Day dot com had the same cute opinion of her and wanted to feature her on the homepage of their site. Because of Sitka’s celebrity status, an old WSS friend named Nicky encouraged me to write a children’s short story based on the little sweetie pie. And thus began the rolling snowball of stories based on pets I have and Cat/Dog of the Day nominations for those same animals. Another sentimental part of this story is that it was written two weeks after I wrote a short story called “Tainted Love” that angered a lot of my readers for being sexist. I felt extreme sadness over the course of those two weeks, but perked right up when everyone ooed and ahed over my lovable Sitka girl.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: my five favorite book memories over the course of my career, which actually began in 2009 since that’s when I started taking reading seriously. All of the movie scripts and videogame synopses I wrote before that don’t count since I was flying blind the entire time. Plus, looking back at those old pieces of writing, I’m secretly proud of how far I’ve come since then. As a bookmark I had in fourth grade once told me, “Readers are leaders!” It’s a cheesy slogan that my dad beat to death on a regular basis, but it’s no less true. Reading is an educational and imagination-provoking experience that everybody should have. The key is finding what you like and not being discouraged by what bores you. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***AMERICAN DARKNESS 3***

And now that we’re on the topic of old writing, here’s a synopsis I wrote back in 2013, which is painfully obvious based on how fucking short it really is. It’s for a story called “Don’t Tell Me Who to Love” and it goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

1.      Rich Lucas, College President

2.      Keith Hamlet, Math Professor

3.      Vikki Peters, Keith’s Student Affair

PROMPT CONFORMITY: To be announced.

SYNOPSIS: Rich calls Keith into his office for a possible termination due to the latter’s affair with Vikki. Keith gives his boss false answer after false answer until he can’t stand it anymore and tells him, “Don’t tell me who to love!”

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Because my current list of truly unique American Darkness 3 characters is depleting fast, I’ve added nearly the entire roster of what will be called Poison Tongue Tales 3 to the list. While the next character won’t be from that series, she will be from a novel I’ve been hesitant to write due to its mature content rating and possible offensiveness. She’s Tina Ryan, a sultry guitarist from Puberty X Piracy. Wish me luck!

***DOMESTIC DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

REINA: Chew with your mouth closed!

ME: I’m an American! I can eat however I want! I’m more American than Hulk Hogan!

REINA: Mouth closed!

ME: You’re infringing on my American rights!

REINA: You’re infringing on my ears!

"My Friends" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

“My friends are so depressed, I feel the question of your loneliness. ‘Cause I’ll be by your side. You know I will. You know I will…” The ideal scenario for this unusually depressing Red Hot Chili Peppers song is this: you have multiple friends who are in some kind of slump they can’t get out of on their own. They make an internet post asking for help, but you’re incapable of providing that help either because of preexisting financial burdens or a lengthy distance between you and your friends. When you can’t share your resources with your friends, you try to share words of wisdom. Your oratory of love falls on deaf ears, so the most you can provide to your friends is a hug or a kiss.

I’ve been on the other side of a friend’s depressing circumstances before. I don’t make a lot of money, I don’t drive a car, and I’m not particularly wise, so the best thing I can offer these friends is a hug or a pat on the head. My incapability of helping people is the reason why I’m not a psychology major today. I thought about doing a cinema and psychology double major when I was taking college classes, but due to the fact that my “advice” didn’t register with the people I talked to, I opted to do a single major instead, obviously dropping psychology. I’m embarrassed to say this, but I’m full of more shit than Dr. Phil when it comes to giving emotional advice.

Maybe instead of stretching myself beyond my means to help those who need more than I have, I could just recommend this Red Hot Chili Peppers song to them. When somebody needs a good cry, “My Friends” is the ultimate song to go to for that stream of tears. In fact, I’d even dare say this song should be included in the soundtrack for either “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” or “Love Letters to the Dead”. The emotions run that deep within these alternative rock chords.

Would this method of “help” work within my writing? That’s kind of iffy. In my writing, I wouldn’t have any characters who were beyond help or redemption. If I did have a character who was like that, then finding a solution for that character’s sadness would be next to impossible. I can’t find solutions for my own friends, so why would I be able to find them for my fictional characters? And don’t give me that shit about how it’s fiction and I can bend my world any way I want. Yes, the fictional genre gives me a lot of leeway, but it still has to be believable. Even if I was writing dark fantasy, the emotions have to be real or else nobody’s going to buy into the things I’m selling.

So if you’re feeling down in the dumps and nobody can help you, sad music is a good place to turn to. Music doesn’t judge you. It may dictate its own message, but as long as the music flows through your soul and gets a reaction out of you, that message will never come off as judgmental. Take it from me: I’m a liberal who listens to Five Finger Death Punch and an atheist who listens to Skillet.

But as far as “My Friends” by Red Hot Chili Peppers goes, Anthony Kiedis will do all of the talking when he sings these words to you. But if you need someone to listen to your sorrows, then the power of your imagination can mix with the song’s message to create pure nirvana within your soul. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go to You Tube and find this song. You’ll be glad you did. Or sad, depending on how many tears drop from your face afterwards.

　

***COMMERCIAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Failure IS an option, because in order to get better, you’re going to make mistakes.”

-Nameless Pizza Chef from a Domino’s Ad-

"Love Letters to the Dead" by Ava Dellaira

Before I get started with the body of this review, I want to personally thank Stephen Chbosky for recommending this book to me. I still to this day don’t know if it was a chain letter or a personal note, but in any case, I still want to express my gratitude to him. “Love Letters to the Dead” often drew comparisons to “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” due to the themes of growing up, nostalgia, soulful music, and also due to the letter style in which both novels are written. After reading both books, I decided not to rank one before the other, because like family, they both have a special place in my heart.

This particular novel centers around Laurel, a high school student with a broken family made even more distant by the passing of her older sister May. There are so many secrets surrounding May’s death that it takes an entire novel to unravel them. And when they finally do get unraveled, there are a lot of waterworks involved, which means PTSD was involved. What kinds of secrets would cause somebody to develop traumatic memories? That’s for you to find out, my friend.

And during your quest to solve the mystery of May’s death, take some time to digest the fact that these chapters are written in the form of letters to dead celebrities such as Kurt Cobain, Amelia Earhart, Amy Winehouse, River Phoenix, and many others that had a huge impact o Laurel’s life. It started out as a simple English assignment: write a letter to a famous dead person. Laurel wrote one to Kurt Cobain, but never handed it in. Instead, the one assignment evolved into an entire notebook of letters to various celebrities chronicling Laurel’s heartaches, triumphs, traumas, tragedies, and ultimately resolutions.

I will admit that reading these letters really put a timestamp on how old Laurel really is. In other words, she writes and talks like a typical teenager. There are even times when she attempts to use a clever metaphor, but it backfires into something that only makes marginal sense. However, these are flaws I am very easily able to forgive for the sake of a beautiful and heart-wrenching story. Imagine that: me, an English major, forgiving a strange writing style. It’s something I would have done anyways even if this book was assigned to me in either college or high school.

While “Love Letters to the Dead” didn’t bring me to tears like “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” almost did, I’m crying on the inside for Laurel and I hope she goes on to do great things in her life. I feel the same way about her friends and family, who have also proven to be three-dimensional in their own special way throughout the book. People on Good Reads like to take shots at this book for being “immature” and having “cookie cutter characters”. While it was amusing to see two people named Tristan and Kristen, I have to disagree with those cheap shots. This is a wonderful book for anybody who recently spent over $100 on Kleenex.

　

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“You’re not in love with him. You’re in love with what you want him to be.”

-Dr. Phil-

"Deafening Silence" by Serj Tankian

I’m not going to lie. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky was such a beautiful story that it hurt me. The journey that Charlie went through and the love and friendship he found through all the hardships hit me like a Mike Tyson punch to the heart. It hit me so hard that I needed comfort music afterwards. But where in my music collection would I find it? Would it be “Remember Everything” by Five Finger Death Punch? How about “Because of You” by Kelly Clarkson? Or maybe I’m looking for “Kiss” by Korn. None of those would do because they’re too angsty. I didn’t feel angst after reading Stephen Chbosky’s masterpiece. I needed something that was both beautiful and emotional, just like the book. Come on down, Serj Tankian, and bring a copy of “Deafening Silence” with you. Why this song in particular? I’ll explain. I’m sure that after the events of “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”, Charlie will go on to do great things and he’ll rekindle his love with Sam. In stark contrast, after my own journey through high school and college, all that was left for me was something that Serj Tankian and his wife sang about for the album Harakiri: “Deafening Silence”. Silence from my old friends, silence from my family, silence from complete strangers, and silence from anybody looking for faithful and hardworking employees. But of course, I can’t do what Serj said and “paint you with my tears”, because I haven’t cried since 2007. I’ve been sad lots of times since then, but I’ve never had the urge to just let the tear ducts flow like a monsoon. Charlie, on the other hand, cried many times over the course of Stephen Chbosky’s story. He cried when he was happy, he cried when he was sad, and sometimes he just cried because he was so emotional all the time. To say that I envy Charlie wouldn’t be quite accurate. It’s a little petty to be jealous of a fictional character. Nobody watches The Expendables and becomes jealous of Sylvester Stallone. Those that do end up going to Iraq or Afghanistan to get their heads blown off. While I may have no jealousy toward Charlie or his friends, it doesn’t change the fact that the silence still exists and that it still affects me deeply every day of my life. To commemorate this lack of noise, I’ve got a copy of “Deafening Silence” by Serj Tankian handy on my MP3, on my computer, and on the original CD. If you haven’t heard the song yet, go to You Tube and find it. It’s absolutely gorgeous. In fact, if “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” had been set in the early 2010’s instead of the early 1990’s, I’m sure Serj Tankian’s masterpiece would have been included in the soundtrack.

　

***FACE BOOK POST OF THE DAY***

“You know your life is boring when you have something to do tomorrow and you set your alarm for eleven in the morning.”

-Me-

Multiple Readings

Here’s something I may never understand: why is it that people like to say that they’re going to read a particular book more than once? They say things like “I like it so much that I can’t wait to read it again!” While lip service to a good book is admirable, I have to ask why someone would go to these extremes. You have to understand that while reading is an enjoyable hobby for a lot of people, it’s also hard work. It’s like a marine saying that he wants to go through boot camp again because he got such a great workout from the obstacle courses. While reading isn’t nearly as torturous as running an obstacle course at five in the morning, it still takes a great deal of effort and dedication to do. I loved reading “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky, but I don’t need to read it twice in order to prove my devotion to the author or his work. Another issue I have with the idea of multiple readings is that once you read a book, you already know what happens and the element of surprise is spoiled. When I read a book, I’m already resigned to the idea that everything will be okay by the story’s end. For me, it’s not so much IF a happy ending occurs, it’s HOW. All of these problems have to have some kind of solution, preferably one I didn’t think of beforehand. If I was to read “Pipsqueak” by Brian M. Wiprud a second time, I would already know how Garth Carson and his kin defeat the cultists. For the sake of making you all buy your own damn copies of the book, I won’t spoil the ending for anybody. That’s one of the points of reading: to find out what happens. Sure, you could skip to the back of the book and find out that way, but where’s the adventure and sense of accomplishment in that? You know why we have a website called Good Reads? So that people can go online and brag about the books they’ve read in the past. How exactly are you going to earn your bragging rights if you skip to the back of the book like a cheater? And just so you know, Good Reads doesn’t have a place on your “To-Read” list for how many times you’ve read a book, so I guess it’s not that honorable after all. I have over 60 books on my “To-Read” list and they’re all sitting on my bookshelf here at home. How exactly are all 60 plus books going to get read if I’m stuck on “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” or “Pipsqueak” indefinitely? Seems like a waste of money to just let those books sit in queue like that. You want to know what I’m really trying to say here? Actually, I don’t have much to say, just something to ask. Why on earth would someone want to read a book more than once (aside from not completing it the first time and forgetting what happened)?

　

***CELEBRITY QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“There are two motives for reading a book. One, that you enjoy it. The other, that you can boast about it [on Good Reads].”

-Bertrand Russell-

Vilification

On my Deviant Art page, I told everyone that I was going to do a blog entry on author vilification and mentioned that Stephen Chbosky wasn’t vilified himself. I was wrong. Dead wrong. The main complaint about “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” was the way the author portrayed teen sex and drug use. He made it sound so prolific that it normalized it in a way. Well, I hate to break it to his critics, but that book they’re complaining about is a cult classic. It’s been that way since its publication in 1999. But even though he’s riding a hype train that isn’t going to derail anytime soon, I’m sure Mr. Chbosky would love to get away from it all and let the dust settle. I’m sure there are authors out there who would love to do the same if they’ve generated too much controversy. Controversy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when it makes your anxiety level rise beyond normalcy, then you’re knee deep in shit. There are several things you can do if you as an author are vilified and it’s ruining your life. Firstly, it doesn’t hurt to stay away from the internet for a few days until the dust settles. If you’ve got a Twitter account, it may blow up with hateful remarks. If you’ve got a DA account like I do, it may also blow up with a nuclear strike of loathing. The dust will eventually settle and the wave of comments will sooner or later become old news. When that time comes, do not under any circumstances Google your name. I made this mistake when I Googled by Deviant Art username at the time Cybador and found a hideout, I repeat, a hideout of trolls in a website called Portal of Evil. Behind my back, they’d been trashing my drawings of animal warriors and for the next few days, I had a combination of depression and anger going on. There were times when I felt like I didn’t need a DA account anymore, especially in December of 2009 when I was vilified for an educational black comedy routine I wrote called “Class of ‘13”. I wish I could have taken my own advice of staying away from the computer for a few days. It would have brought the combat level and heartache to a bare minimum, that’s for sure. Thankfully, I’ve had many years of peace and quiet ever since those bad days and it continues to be that way. I hope you, the controversial author, can find your own peace simply by abstaining from internet combat. It’s not worth it. Take it from me. I’m battle-tested, but brokenhearted.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“I feel like running away. I’m still so far from home. You say that I’ll never change, but what the fuck do you know? I’ll burn it all to the ground before I let you win. Please forgive me. I can’t forgive you now. I remember everything.”

-Five Finger Death Punch singing “Remember Everything”-

"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

Instead of the traditional one long paragraph format I’m accustomed to, I’m going to answer questions straight out of the back of this book as clearly and as effectively as I can. Starting with…

Q: Why do you think Chbosky chose to use letters as his narrative structure?

A: Writing a letter is much different from writing a chapter in a traditional novel. Letters don’t require gory details and make for a quicker reading pace, which is what every young adult reader secretly loves.

Q: How did this structure affect the book, both in terms of the story and in terms of your reading experience?

A: In terms of story, it lets us know that Charlie is still alive by the story’s end (otherwise he wouldn’t be writing letters) and that he didn’t resort to suicide in order to cope with the losses in his life. In terms of reading experience, it made it possible for me to blaze through reading this book without tiring my eyes as quickly as I do.

Q: How would the book have been different if Chbosky had written it in first-person or third-person narrative? Without the letter format, we wouldn’t be firmly in the head of Charlie, which is a beautiful place to be as evidenced by the way he writes.

Q: Who do you think Charlie was writing to?

A: Anybody who would listen. I’m even inclined to say that these letters went to a complete stranger since they’re all addressed to someone who went nameless throughout the entire story.

Q: Does it ultimately matter whom, or even if he is, writing to someone? Why or why not?

A: I think that if he wrote the letters to actual characters in this story, it would help him “participate” in life as opposed to watching on the sidelines. He would be open and honest with whoever he was writing to and that person would be closer to him because of it.

Q: Who do you identify with the most? Did you see parts of yourself in any one specific character?

A: To be honest, I didn’t identify with anybody in this book (which doesn’t mean I couldn’t relate to the story as a whole, don’t get me wrong). Despite the many obstacles these characters go through, they had a pretty magical adolescence full of socialization and wonder. I had no such childhood. Mine was full of blunt affects and social barricades. In a way, I’m a tiny bit jealous of the adventures these kids go through.

Q: What do you think kept Charlie from “participating” when he entered high school? What held him back? Have you ever felt this way before?

A: In the beginning, Charlie suffered from something that I’m currently suffering now as an adult: social awkwardness. He wouldn’t participate because initially nobody would let him. I feel this way every single day of my life.

Q: Who is Charlie’s greatest ally? Who is his worst influence?

A: His greatest ally is Sam, because she was the first to let him know what true love really feels like. She made him feel like he could have a social life when he grew up instead of being confined to his family all the time. Charlie’s worst influence is Mary Elizabeth, because she tried to dominate his life by smothering him. Charlie is in many ways an introverted character and to have that lack of control over his own life hurt him badly.

Q: From Naked Lunch by William B. Burroughs to Harold and Maude to the Beatles’ song “Dear Prudence”, Charlie references numerous pieces of literature, film, and music. How did these references shape your reading? Why are they so important to Charlie?

A: While I was only familiar with one reference throughout the entire book (Pink Floyd singing Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2), the multitude of references led me to believe that Charlie was soaking in as many influences as he possibly could so that they could shape him into a wonderful human being. Having influences is ultimately what drives a person to pursue his dreams.

Q: When Bill invites Charlie over for lunch Charlie observes, “He was talking for real. It was strange.” What do you think Charlie means by “real”? How does he discern between what is real and what is not real?

A: When he says real, he means that Bill was being honest about his thoughts and emotions with no filter of any kind. Anybody who squanders opportunities to speak their mind and be open with their fellow humans is not real in Charlie’s mind.

Q: Sam confronts Charlie before she leaves for college, pleading: “You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things.” Do you agree with Sam? How does this exchange relate to their relationship on a grander scale?

A: I agree with Sam because relationships are two way streets. If one person isn’t happy, neither is the other person, which is why the relationship between Charlie and Mary Elizabeth fell apart so easily. Sam felt like Charlie had a filter between his mind and mouth and wasn’t always honest about what he felt about her.

Q: Discuss Aunt Helen’s character and presence in the novel. Were you surprised when the truth about her relationship with Charlie was revealed? In what other ways did seemingly positive aspects of Charlie’s life turn out to be negative?

A: Everybody has demons in their lives in one way or another. The fact that Aunt Helen’s demons of being molested were revealed doesn’t shock or surprise me, because I’ve seen a lot of horrible things in my life and I’m numb to everything. Another positive that turned into a negative was Charlie discovering that his relationship with Sam wasn’t unbreakable. She was hurt badly when Charlie betrayed Mary Elizabeth and wasn’t inclined to forget about it for a long time.

Q: After watching the art film with Mary Elizabeth, Charlie says: “The movie itself was very interesting, but I didn’t think it was very good because I didn’t really feel different when it was over.” Do you agree with Charlie that in order to be “good”, creative works must make you feel differently? Who did you feel after reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower?

A: Even in minor ways, yes, creative works have to make you feel differently. If you’re watching an action movie, you should be excited. If you’re watching a romantic movie, you should learn to believe in love again. In terms of this book, I did feel differently. I felt jealous that I couldn’t have the same romantic relationships as Charlie had when I was a teenager. It inspired me to write a heavy metal song called “The Language of Fire”, which doesn’t need much explaining as to what it’s about.

Q: Discuss the following passage: “Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective. Sometimes I think that the only perspective is to really be there.” How has Charlie’s outlook shifted from the beginning of the story?

A: In the beginning, he allowed his parents to tell him that his problems weren’t comparable to a starving child in China. By the end of the story, he realized that despite other people having it worse, the problems still remain and still need attention.

Q: The Perks of Being a Wallflower grapples with a complex, universally difficult stage in life. What reflections did it inspire about your own life? What parts of the story resonated most deeply with you?

A: Considering that most of my childhood was riddled with bullying, the part of the story that hit me the hardest was the cafeteria fight scene where Patrick had to be rescued from the homophobic football players. The ratio of my childhood of bullying to friendship weighed heavily in favor of the former, so anytime Charlie discussed how great his friendships were, I got jealous.

And there you have it! Ballgame!

　

***PARODY DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

FLOYDIAN TEACHER: Poems, everybody! The laddie reckons himself a poet!

ME: You’re damn right I do!

-Pink Floyd the Wall-

No, I wasn’t actually in that movie (it came out before I was born), but that would have been me if the teacher accosted me the way he accosted Pink.