Favorite Book Memories

***BEFORE I BEGIN***

I hope everybody had a wonderful Christmas this year, filled with family togetherness and of course, plenty of sweet ass presents (can’t forget those, hehe!). One of the things I got this year is shower gel that looks like a blood bag. I wonder what I’ll look like after I scrub myself with it. I’ll probably look like I just came back from a violent mosh pit. Oh dear. Hehe!

***FAVORITE BOOK MEMORIES***

Of course, the key to celebrating a holiday successfully is gratefulness for everything and everyone you have. And thus we have the topic for today’s blog, my five favorite book memories. This was originally done in a You Tube video by fellow author Jenna Moreci and I figured it was a good idea for me to do a list myself. Five doesn’t have to be the definitive number, but it’s one that works for both me and Jenna Moreci. If any of you, my lovely readers, want to do this, you’re more than welcome to. I’m actually curious to see what you guys put down as your favorite book memories. This can be anything from reading a book to writing one to buying one to…anything, really. Without flapping my gums any further, here are my top five in no particular order:

1. Reading “The Cleaner” by Brett Battles and becoming a full-time reader because of it. Stephen King said it best when he claimed if you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time nor the skills to write. I didn’t start taking this advice seriously until mid-2009 when I only had one more college class to take before I graduated. I certainly wouldn’t have become a born-again reader with the novels and memoirs my teachers had me read in college. While some of them were good and therefore worth rereading, most of them bored me to tears and made me regret taking those classes. I know college is supposed to be more about education than entertainment, but come on, seriously? When I read Brett Battles’ spy novel “The Cleaner”, I learned how much fun reading really can be. It was a fast paced book that spared me from the feeling of dragging my eyes across concrete. And thus began a long legacy of awesome reading and hopefully awesome writing on my part to go with it. I say hopefully with a lot of emphasis.
2. Joining the WSS. I know this sounds like I’m sucking up, but trust me, it isn’t. Sucking up implies that you don’t mean what you say. When I say that joining the WSS was one of the five best book-related things to happen to me, I say it with every fiber of my being. This Good Reads group holds weekly short story and poetry contests with no special prizes, just a friendly victory. Even more important than getting a victory is getting helpful advice from your peers, who in this case are empathetic and wise when it comes to their critiques. They taught me so much over the years and motivated me to turn the first installment of American Darkness into something that wasn’t cow shit. I’m still a zealous member of the WSS today and will be until the end of forever.
3. Befriending Marie Krepps. Just like the WSS, Marie, my beautiful beta reader and critique partner, has shown me the light when it comes to pumping out readable works of art. Her own published books and short stories are always delightful to read, so she knows what she’s talking about. She has a wicked sense of humor when she critiques my work, thus making the process as painless as possible. Unfortunately, she currently has a lot going on in her life that keeps her from doing what she wants to do, but even so, I’m grateful for every piece of advice and every review she’s given me over the years. I hope she can get things sorted out soon, because there are times when I miss having my Babe-a-Licious Mondo around. I call her that because of the Bubblicious Mondo chewing gum commercials of the mid-1990’s. She loves it. Hehe!
4. Reading “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky. Never before has a book ripped my heart to shreds and glued it back together again like this simply-written piece of young adult literature. A la Charlie, I know what it’s like to sit on the sidelines and love my favorite women from afar. We’re both introverts who don’t want to screw things up by putting ourselves out there. We both need our Sams and Patricks to bring us out into the light. While Charlie got to have the social experiences he wanted, I remain in the darkness. I am both frustrated and heartbroken when I see things through the eyes of Charlie. Thanks, Stephen Chbosky, for bringing me closer to tears than I’ve ever been.
5. Writing the Poison Tongue Tales story “Sitka the Nose Biter”. On the surface, this seems like just another fantasy story lost in the shuffle of much bigger projects. But Sitka the Nose Biter has sentimental value to me. The main character, Sitka, is a real life cat I adopted back in 2013. Her gray puffy fur and diva-like face reminded me of a witch or a cookie monster. Apparently, the people at Cat of the Day dot com had the same cute opinion of her and wanted to feature her on the homepage of their site. Because of Sitka’s celebrity status, an old WSS friend named Nicky encouraged me to write a children’s short story based on the little sweetie pie. And thus began the rolling snowball of stories based on pets I have and Cat/Dog of the Day nominations for those same animals. Another sentimental part of this story is that it was written two weeks after I wrote a short story called “Tainted Love” that angered a lot of my readers for being sexist. I felt extreme sadness over the course of those two weeks, but perked right up when everyone ooed and ahed over my lovable Sitka girl.

So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: my five favorite book memories over the course of my career, which actually began in 2009 since that’s when I started taking reading seriously. All of the movie scripts and videogame synopses I wrote before that don’t count since I was flying blind the entire time. Plus, looking back at those old pieces of writing, I’m secretly proud of how far I’ve come since then. As a bookmark I had in fourth grade once told me, “Readers are leaders!” It’s a cheesy slogan that my dad beat to death on a regular basis, but it’s no less true. Reading is an educational and imagination-provoking experience that everybody should have. The key is finding what you like and not being discouraged by what bores you. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***AMERICAN DARKNESS 3***

And now that we’re on the topic of old writing, here’s a synopsis I wrote back in 2013, which is painfully obvious based on how fucking short it really is. It’s for a story called “Don’t Tell Me Who to Love” and it goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

1.      Rich Lucas, College President

2.      Keith Hamlet, Math Professor

3.      Vikki Peters, Keith’s Student Affair

PROMPT CONFORMITY: To be announced.

SYNOPSIS: Rich calls Keith into his office for a possible termination due to the latter’s affair with Vikki. Keith gives his boss false answer after false answer until he can’t stand it anymore and tells him, “Don’t tell me who to love!”

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

Because my current list of truly unique American Darkness 3 characters is depleting fast, I’ve added nearly the entire roster of what will be called Poison Tongue Tales 3 to the list. While the next character won’t be from that series, she will be from a novel I’ve been hesitant to write due to its mature content rating and possible offensiveness. She’s Tina Ryan, a sultry guitarist from Puberty X Piracy. Wish me luck!

***DOMESTIC DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

REINA: Chew with your mouth closed!

ME: I’m an American! I can eat however I want! I’m more American than Hulk Hogan!

REINA: Mouth closed!

ME: You’re infringing on my American rights!

REINA: You’re infringing on my ears!