***AUTHOR INTEVIEWS AND GUEST BLOGS***
I’m not going to lie to you guys: I haven’t done enough when
it comes to giving back to the writing community. Sure, I always write book
reviews for fellow authors and I’ve made a permanent critique buddy out of Marie
Krepps, but I haven’t done much beyond that. I suppose this could be remedied
by following other authors on Good Reads, Deviant Art, and Blogger, but then I
get “overwhelmed” by all of the reading assignments that come with this. And by
overwhelmed, I mean that I puss out because I’m feeling mentally exhausted that
day. One day of exhaustion turns to another. And another. And another.
That makes my offer to you, my lovely audience, not much of
a guarantee for your success. You might get a few hits on your social media
pages, but I can’t make any promises that you’ll be the toast of the town. But
if you want to take up my offer, I’d be more than happy to help you out. It’s
time I stopped chickening out and own up to my responsibilities to the world.
My offer is this: if you’d like me to interview you or if you want to write a
guest post on my blogs, all you have to do is ask. Each interview will consist
of ten questions about your creative life in general, though they won’t be the
same for every author. As far as guest posts go, I have to approve the topic
beforehand, which of course means no racist, sexist, homophobic, or otherwise
bigoted statements.
It’s not the biggest offer in the world, but I’d like to
think it’s a start. Sometimes we just need to be shown where the starting mark
is. And while I’m making an attempt to lionize the authors in my life, here are
some people you should follow on You Tube for writing advice: Jenna Moreci,
Ellen Brock, J.P. Beaubien, and Vivien Reis. I like Jenna Moreci because she’s
sassy and unafraid when it comes to her swear word-laced rants. Plus, I have a
special place in my heart for cyborg queens. Ellen Brock is a professional
editor with some intimate knowledge of the publishing business, so when she
corrects you, you’d better listen. Vivien Reis is also a limitless supply of
wisdom when she gives her advice. Plus, she has puppy-duppies that appear in
the background of her videos. Aww! And then we come to Mr. Beaubien, whose You
Tube channel is aptly called Terrible Writing Advice. His delivery is satirical
and sarcastic, but his message of how important it is to research your topics
beforehand is loud and clear.
And of course, where would an author-praising blog post be
without talking about the one and only Babe-a-Licious Mondo, Marie Krepps
(adult fiction) a.k.a. Ashley Uzzell (children’s fiction). I could butter this
woman up all day long like corn on the cob or an English muffin. When she gives
you writing advice or when she critiques your work, wake the fuck up. She’s
funny, she’s wise, and she’s an all-around sweethearted person with the right
amount of sass. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a Face Book account anymore,
because let’s face it, one can only take so much political and bigoted bullshit
and Face Book has plenty of that in spades. Not to worry: she still has a Good
Reads and Twitter account. She also has a blog and a website, but I forgot the
names of those sites (just Google the names Marie Krepps and Ashley Uzzell,
you’ll find them in short order). Plus, if you have money that you’d like to
donate to a worthy cause, she’s a supporter of Extra Life, a charity that
raises money for children’s hospitals by playing videogames for a full
twenty-four hours. Even the smallest amount donated to Extra Life will give
both you and Marie warm fuzzy feelings on the inside. ^_^
Would you like to be lionized in the same way as Marie and
the You Tube authors I’ve mentioned? I’d be happy to do it if you’d just ask.
Remember, folks: it’s either an author interview, a guest blog post, or both.
Regardless of how many views you get as a result of these promotional tactics,
you won’t regret it, that much I promise! We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***AMERICAN DARKNESS 3***
If you follow me on Good Reads, Face Book, or Deviant Art,
you would have seen a drawing of a heavily-muscled gentleman doing the splits
between two cinder blocks while military pressing a barbell in the air. That
gentleman (and I use that word loosely) is Marcus McKnight from my upcoming
short story called “Code Breaker”, which goes like this:
CHARACTERS:
- Zoey Davis, Hacktivist
- Marcus McKnight, Mixed-Martial Artist
PROMPT CONFORMITY: To be announced.
SYNOPSIS: Throughout his fighting career, Marcus has earned
a reputation as a backstage bully, often muscling the referees, judges, and
officials into giving him a subtle advantage in his fights. Marcus denies these
claims and calls his critics “snowflakes” in retaliation. On the night of a
championship fight, Zoey, who’s watching from the bleachers, hacks into
Marcus’s social media accounts and posts embarrassing pictures of him so that
his victims can have a good laugh. Everyone around her is too busy enjoying the
fight to pay attention to her hack job. She’s still anxious about being caught
and with security beefed up in the arena, she’s right to feel that way.
FUN FACT: This story is partially inspired by John
“Bradshaw” Layfield’s bullying scandal in WWE, which I’m certain will earn a
Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award this year from the Wrestling Observer
Newsletter. Well, either that or Jinder Mahal’s run as WWE Champion. Or the
exploitation of Dusty Rhodes’s death. Or the exploitation of Jerry Lawler’s
2012 heart attack. Or…goddamn, that’s a lot of candidates!
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
One thing that’s not in short supply in this series is guys
in suits and ties. Peter Stein from my old first draft novel “Filter Feeder”
will be the next dude on that long list. The only difference is, he’ll be armed
with a pair of magically imbued boxing gloves. If any of you remember that
drive-by abortion of a story, Peter used those boxing gloves in combat against
angry fisherman Wes Edwards, who was damned near beaten into powder during that
closing fight.
***INTERNET DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
POWER OF THE PENCIL: I
want to be an author when I grow up. Am I insane?
NEIL GAIMAN: Yes.
Growing up is highly overrated. Just be an author.
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