Hokey Tonk

VERSE 1

If you want to be a real American hero

You need to sign up for the Big Ass War

The number of terrorists alive will be zero

They’ll all explode like July the Fourth

VERSE 2

If you don’t have a Social Security number

It means you were born in the back of a truck

Working through sickness will quench your hunger

This is America and here we don’t give a fuck

VERSE 3

If you want to own a big fucking machinegun

You have to be whiter than the Ku Klux Klan

Just pull the trigger and have an ass-load of fun

Teach your son to shoot so he can be a big man

VERSE 4

If you think this song is anything but a joke

You’re less educated than the state of Alabama

Blind patriotism is nothing more than a hoax

Especially when the racist judge bangs his hammer

FINAL LINE

Yee-haw, bitches! Roll Tide!

Whatever the fuck that means…

Jessica Harley

The similarity between the names Jessica Harley and Jessica Haggar are mind-boggling. Their back stories are similar as well. But I assure you with 100% conviction that Mike Haggar’s daughter from Final Fight was not the inspiration for Jessica Harley, so put away the fan fiction pre-writes for a moment.

Jessica Harley was from a movie script idea that never got off the ground called The Trauma Force. It was detective fiction similar to The Shield, brutality, leather jackets, sex, drugs, violence, and all. Jessica was the wife of lead character Shawn Harley and kidnapped away from him during a drug bust. Mrs. Harley wouldn’t be found until the end of the story, which smells of Final Fight logic, but trust me, it isn’t.

Jessica was the name of my online girlfriend from 2002-2005. Though we never kissed or made love, we were indeed in love with each other. Whoever said teenagers don’t know what love is never felt the magic between me and Jessica. The blood sugar sex magic started when the two of us were role-playing on a Final Fantasy-themed MSN group.

I was the bullheaded knight Sharry Seran and she was Mikoto Tribal from Final Fantasy IX. Our two characters got kidnapped by holier-than-thou paladins and we had to fight our way out together through thick and thin. An in-game marriage proposal was in the works despite the two characters not knowing each other. Fantasy and reality were extremely blurry at this time and we eventually became boyfriend and girlfriend.

The Trauma Force version of Jessica was a manifestation of my online girlfriend at the time. Both were so beautiful and so far away, the latter being for different reasons, obviously. I couldn’t distinguish the difference between losing her to kidnapping and losing her to life progression in another state. Call me needy, but when the real world Jessica didn’t reply to my letters for the longest time, I felt empty and cold. When somebody loses contact with you for a long time, you get worried. When you get worried, you get scared. When you get scared, you get angry at life.

After 2005, I officially recognized our relationship as over due to her not responding for long enough. I wasn’t going to save myself for somebody I couldn’t have. But Jessica Harley, the fictional character she’s based off of, well, I can certainly do a lot with her. Whatever I did with Mrs. Harley, I’d have to do with carefulness. I want to cherish the time we had together and not think bitter thoughts now that it’s over. I still want to use Jessica Harley in a romantic way, but I just don’t know how. Will she and Shawn still be together by the next story’s beginning? Will their story resemble Final Fight or heaven forbid Savages?

Maybe Shawn and Jessica don’t have to fight the world with their fists. Maybe they don’t need conventional weapons like guns or knives. Are there no other props that are more appropriate for a whirlwind romance? How about musical instruments? Nothing says love like a grinding guitar and Meytal Cohen-style drums. Maybe they can occupy the streets with megaphones and cardboard signs, protesting something that will earn them bullets to the chest. What if the loving couple fought the world with magic wands? Shawn could be Harry Potter and Jessica could be Ginny Weasley. Maybe their revolution will be quiet and all they’ll need is a library full of good books. Shawn could be Charlie and Jessica could be Sam. So many possibilities. No matter what I choose for these two, they won’t take being human for granted this time.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“You love me for everything you hate me for.”

-In This Moment singing “Whore”-

"To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee

I spent my freshman year of high school in a little town called Chehalis, a hotbed of racism, bullying, and pretty much every other kind of ignorant behavior imaginable. This town desperately needed “To Kill a Mockingbird” as part of its English curriculum. Atticus Finch must defend a black prisoner named Tom Robinson wrongfully accused of raping a little girl. If he’s wrongfully accused, then he should be easy to get off the hook. Right? In Maycomb, Alabama, it’s not that simple. Racial prejudice and other forms of bigotry run rampant throughout the town, making it impossible for people to see that Tom Robinson is clearly innocent. Caught in the middle of this racial tension is the main character of the story Scout Finch and her older brother Jem. These two children actually have to grow up in this environment and learn the hard way of the dangers of racial injustice. With so much character development in this story coming from the two children, it’s no shock at all that this book won a Pulitzer Prize and that it’s required reading for pretty much every high school in the country. You know what is a shock? Certain groups of people were actually trying to get “To Kill a Mockingbird” pulled from library shelves because it uses the word “nigger” multiple times. Really? You’re going to censor a book for being realistic about the environment the characters live in? Maycomb, Alabama was not a pretty place to live in, especially if you were, (deep breath), black! You think the villains in this story are going to get away with calling Tom Robinson a “doo-doo head”? How about a “jerky-puss”? Or a “turtle nose”? G-rated insults simply don’t cut it in a world where innocence is shattered like glass. Because as it turns out, losing your innocence is something that everybody goes through in the real world whether they want to or not. Some people have an easier time with shedding it than others. It’s sad and unfortunate, but it is true. You think that if Tom Robinson was being called a “doo-doo head” that this book would have won a Pulitzer Prize? Bullshit! It wouldn’t even make it passed the printing press! Maybe there’s another reason why censorship addicts want this book pulled from libraries. Maybe it’s because they use the word “nigger” more often than the characters in this book! Just saying…

　

***POLITICAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“The only way the republicans would approve of abortion is if the father was black.”

-Bill Maher-