That's Not Love

VERSE 1

Fondling her tits doesn’t make you a stud

She hates it even more when you grab her butt

This isn’t the classic tale of Romeo & Juliet

This is a traumatic nightmare she won’t forget

Every time you snap an unwanted photograph

Every time you crudely joke and nobody laughs

She’s thinking of spraying you right in the eyes

Even if it takes her more than fifty fucking tries

CHORUS

That’s! Not! Love! X2

VERSE 2

Fifty shades of sexualized violence

Fifty shades of embarrassed silence

Fifty shades of suicidal misery

Fifty shades of unsolvable mysteries

Touch her again and you’ll draw back a stump

Arrogant preening doesn’t give you the right to hump

Your washboard abs don’t mean fucking shit

Keep your goddamn hands off her fucking tits

EXTENDED CHORUS 1

That’s! Not! Love!

That’s! Not! Love!

This! Is! A Crime!

You! Will! Do Time!

VERSE 3

Great job, Romeo, you’ve found new romance

That’s why you’re wearing low baggy pants

It’s prison code for, “I want your load”

You’ll be squealing like a pig, croaking like a toad

There is no reward for sexual harassment

There is no future for a sexual assassin

I don’t give a fuck who the president is

Nobody wants your disgusting ass jizz

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

That’s! Not! Love!

That’s! Not! Love!

This! Is! A Crime!

You! Will! Do Time!

Passionate love is a legitimate emotion

But not when you’ve got a stalker’s devotion

Not when your dick is a lethal weapon

Not when you’re a sex offender level seven

FINAL LINE

This! Is! Not! Fucking! Love!