***VALENTINE’S DAY***
Valentine’s Day is now in our rearview mirrors and for many
single people out there, that’s a good thing. They like to call it Singles
Awareness Day because they don’t have anybody to share their special day with.
I used to be just as angry and bitter about it as anyone else who hated this
holiday. And then when this year’s Valentine’s Day came and went, I realized
something important for coping with future February 14th holidays.
How is this day different from any other? It doesn’t have
the magic and joy of Christmas. It doesn’t have the dark fantasy charisma of
Halloween. It doesn’t have the food devouring of Thanksgiving. It’s just a
normal day of the year. Yes, it’s love themed and there are a lot of chocolates
and candy available. But if it’s sweet treats you want, get a pack of Reese’s
Peanut Butter Cups at your local convenience store. If you want a stuffed teddy
bear, buy one on Amazon any other day of the year. If you’re in a relationship
and you have to wait until February 14th to get some true romance
in, there’s something wrong with your chemistry. To my way of thinking,
celebrating romance one day a year is like celebrating any other mundane
activity whether it’s doing laundry, washing dishes, or going to work.
Would you like to take any guesses as to how I spent my
Valentine’s Day? I can tell you that it wasn’t anything like last year where I
ate my sorrows away with a large Pizza Hut pizza. Sure, my “heavy metal of the
day” on Face Book was “This Love” by Pantera, but that’s not the point. I spent
February 14th doing laundry, not only my own, but also my parents’.
My parents are Baby Boomers who can’t climb the steps as fast as they used to,
so they rely on me to ferry clothes up to the garage to wash and dry them. Not
only do we now have fresh laundry, but my mom has gained a lot of appreciation
for having me around the house (not that she didn’t already have it to begin
with). In between doing loads of my parents’ laundry, I watched WWE Smackdown
and ate take-out sushi that my brother James brought home.
I find as I get older that I appreciate low-key events more
often. I like low-key holidays, low-key vacations, and low-key concerts. Yes,
most of the concerts I go to are heavy metal and hard rock, but instead of
getting fucked up in the mosh pit, I take a seat in the bleachers. Sitting down
between bands is easy on my legs, which is why I can no longer attend shows at
the Showbox venues in Seattle or Studio 7 in the same city: they don’t have
chairs. I even asked if I could bring my own beanbag chair to the Showbox and
though the nice lady agreed I should be able to do that, they can’t accommodate
me in that department. At 31-years-old and tipping the scale in the 300
district, I have to start thinking low-key, which includes being in a neutral
mood on Valentine’s Day.
It’s funny, because I posted a synopsis in my folder at the
WSS about a short story dealing with Valentine’s Day in a negative light. The
story would have been called “I Don’t Believe In Love” and would be about a
theater student doing a passionate monologue on how exclusive the holiday is.
Instead of writing that short story, I wrote a chapter of Demon Axe where
Daniel Mercer a.k.a. The Lord of the Pit was tortured with his own genre of
music. Great stuff, huh? It’s like something out of A Clockwork Orange. Or it
could be like Tales From the Hood with fully-clothed characters.
The only Valentine’s Day thing I really did was buy a gift
for my beta reader Marie Krepps. I brag about her every chance I get, so it’s
only natural that I get her something nice from her Amazon wish list. In a way,
she could be my valentine despite the fact that she’s already married with four
lovely daughters. Then again, valentines don’t have to necessarily be love
interests. One year I had my black cat Pete as my valentine. Pete has since
passed on to the Rainbow
Bridge
Depending on whom you are or what your circumstances entail,
Valentine’s Day can either be the happiest day of your life or the most
miserable. If you like this holiday, more power to you and I wish you infinite
happiness. If you hate this holiday with a passion, you don’t have to. If
you’re really that starved for romantic affection, masturbate to some sexy You
Tube videos. That’s what I did one year and those endorphins came rushing in
like…well, you see where I’m going with this. But if masturbating isn’t your
thing, then find some way to occupy your time. As long as your mind and spirit
are busy with something to do, Valentine’s Day will be just as neutral to you
as it is to me.
We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***DEMON AXE, CHAPTER 15***
I’m getting closer and closer to the end of this first draft
novel and I couldn’t be more excited! Chapter fifteen will start off with
Daniel being released from his straps and knocking down the door to his room by
bellowing into his microphone. Seems like a nice way to begin a chapter as far
as I’m concerned, especially considering how Daniel Mercer has been
easily-triggered throughout the whole story. He realizes how much
responsibility he has on his shoulders and will now take this quest against
Roger seriously. Or to put it in his oh-so-lovely terms, “Let’s fuck shit up!”
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
I have to be honest with you guys for a minute. I haven’t
been writing as many Poison Tongue Tales 2 short stories lately, which means my
character roster for the Dark Fantasy Warriors series is rapidly depleting. The
next one on the chopping block will be Marco Said from “Staple Gun Gangster”,
but after that, here are all the characters I have left:
- Bear Man, Human Bassist (Demon Axe)
- Dijas Kai, Lion Samurai (Screw the Zoo)
- Scott Percival, Cyborg Soldier (Shield Me)
- Seven, Undead Prophet (The Theomancer)
- Sonia Marquez, Human Mixed-Martial Artist (Demon Axe)
Your eyes do not deceive you. After Marco Said, there will
only be five Dark Fantasy Warriors left, which will be just enough to complete
my 100 Characters Meme by the time they’re finished. In this case, the meme
will be used for drawings that I’ve done in color, which dates back to early
2016 (the year of death). I know doing Deviant Art memes isn’t the most
exciting thing one can do with his or her time, but to my way of thinking, this
will be my way of celebrating a milestone.
***CYBORGS AND SORCERY***
About a week ago, Marie Krepps asked me to beta read four
short stories of hers which will ultimately be part of a published collection
called Cyborgs and Sorcery. I’ve gotten through her two longest stories and she
seemed happy with my snarky critiques. The next two stories are only three or
four pages long, give or take, so on the day of my choosing I can blow through
both of them and write a passing grade review for the collection the same day.
***JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: What did Avril
Lavigne say to Bullwinkle?
A: Hey, hey! You, you! I
don’t like your squirrel friend!
No comments:
Post a Comment