Spoilers

***SPOILERS***

Whenever I write a review online, I always make sure not to add spoilers. The most my readers will get out of me in that department is in the opening paragraph, where a give a brief synopsis of what the book or movie was about (in my own words). The three body paragraphs after that will highlight things I liked or disliked about the book or movie, depending on what grade I give it. The final paragraph is a sales pitch-style conclusion that brings it all home. I don’t know the exact year when I started using this formula regularly, but it was after I joined the WSS (they’ve definitely had an influence on my writing in many ways).

I’ve never liked spoilers whether I’m the one doing the reviewing or reading someone else’s opinion. It’s for the same reason that Christmas and birthdays are special to me: the element of surprise. If you know exactly what to expect ahead of time, what’s the point? Isn’t that why we watch movies and read books in the first place: to find out what happens? If we wanted to take in media at an analytical level, we could still do that and be surprised by what we see or read.

In fact, the element of surprise could determine whether a piece of art gets a good or bad grade. We all know that for the most part, the good guys will win in the end. It’s not a matter of if or when they win, it’s how. These insurmountable odds are so stacked against the heroes that we the audience couldn’t possibly guess how they’ll succeed. But when we find out at the story’s end, we’re pleasantly surprised and our curiosities are satisfied. To my way of thinking, a story’s ability to surprise me is paramount to a passing or extra credit grade. Sometimes the surprise means that the good guys lose and I’m okay with that as long as it paints a realistic picture in the process.

When I write a review, my goal is to get you, the audience, to buy whatever it is I’m selling. Even if the review is negative, you’ll still get curious about the things I’ve said about the product and will want to see them for yourself. I always try to maintain a positive attitude when I’m reviewing something, though. I’m not one of these critics who bash everything in sight while claiming to be a smart-ass or a funny guy.

When I watch a movie or read a book, I usually expect that it will be a fun or at least good experience, which is why most of my reviews amount to a passing grade. If I can relate to the story on a deeper level or if the story changed my life in any way, I will give it a full five stars, or an extra credit review. Mixed grades (three stars) will go to mediums that have noticeable problems, but are still likeable and redeemable. Failing grades (two stars) will go to mediums I absolutely hated. One star reviews are reserved for movies or books that I didn’t finish because they were so god awful, Fifty Shades Darker being a big example.

Even when I’m forced to negatively review a product, I try to be as fair and as sensitive as possible. It was a year ago where I gave a Paul McAvoy book two stars since he needed commercial attention. Instead of bashing the shit out of him and being a dick about it, I merely pointed out the flaws that needed fixing and tried to give him the encouragement to face the music someday. I haven’t spoken to Mr. McAvoy since that day, but I hope he’s not feeling too down about himself. I hope he corrects his mistakes and becomes a better author, one that can taste success at the drop of a hat.

It’s for this reason that I bear no ill will towards the two women that each gave me a two-star rating for Occupy Wrestling. They were just doing their jobs of being honest reviewers. They motivated me to reenlist the services of Marie Krepps and get Occupy Wrestling in top-top condition once again, this time focusing my efforts on showing instead of telling and making Mitch McLeod a respectable character. Andy Peloquin, the author of The Hunter series, once said that negative reviews are important because they hold authors accountable. I was held accountable by those two women and I hope I’ve improved since then.

But no matter who’s being reviewed or who’s doing the reviewing, you can bet your ass that we the audience want to be surprised by what we see. You’ll never see me post spoilers no matter how nicely you ask or how many times you nag me. The only people I gave spoilers to were my professors in college, because they were necessary to my essays and they’ve obviously already seen the movies or read the books, so they didn’t need a sales pitch.

If you’re an author in need of an honest review and you don’t want me to spoil your plot, you can contact me via Deviant Art, Good Reads, Face Book, or Blogger. I also have rvd77@hotmail.com as my main email address if you want to get in touch that way. I will tell you, though, that I currently have a lot of projects on my plate whether it’s reading, writing, or editing. If you want to enlist my services, it may be a slow process, but I’ll get it done. I may even try to meet your deadlines, but real life and mental recovery can get in the way of even the tightest time limits.

When it comes to my own self-published books, the same should be true: please don’t leave spoilers unless you’re planning to warn your readers ahead of time. Yes, I know I blast my novel chapters, short stories, and poetry all over social media on a regular basis, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want people to be surprised when they purchase one of my books. If anything, those social media blasts are just small bait to catch bigger fish. Immortal Technique, an independently-published hip-hop artist, knows all about catching the biggest fish. He may not be wealthy enough to qualify as a one-percenter, but people know who the hell he is and that’s what’s important.

These are the books I currently have on the market to be sold at Amazon, Smash Words, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and other book outlets:

• American Darkness (contemporary short story collection)
• Confessions of a Schizophrenic Savage (dark poetry collection)
• Necrograph (another dark poetry collection)
• Occupy Wrestling (urban fantasy novella)

My next publication will eventually be a collection of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror short stories called Poison Tongue Tales. Getting it out there is a slow process, but it’s moving along nonetheless. In the end, it doesn’t matter how slow you go as long as you don’t stop. I saw that quote on my Soundscapes music channel and thought it fit perfectly with this topic.

Who’s ready to do some business? We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***

With Bradshaw and The Lord of the Pit in the books, it’s time for a new character and that will be Hall Markata, a skeleton necromancer from Occupy Wrestling. Hall was originally a playable character in a Final Fantasy videogame idea I had, but that idea was eventually scrapped due to piss-poor writing and not enough time to finish it in. He has since been resurrected as one of Keegan Day’s monstrous minions and provides a formidable challenge to the ultra-tough Mitch McLeod. You’re damn right Hall Markata deserves his own drawing.

***DEMON AXE, CHAPTER 7***

Daniel Mercer and Raven Triscloud return to the scene of Roger Zee’s first act of terrorism: the outdoor arena for what would be Demon Axe’s final concert. Daniel already has a shit-load of trauma fucking up his mind, so returning to his biggest trigger will quite possibly drive him insane. Raven tries to calm him down by explaining that within these “holy grounds”, there’s a portal that leads to the elven world, where King Arthur Triscloud will give Daniel the courage he needs to move on and even hopefully one day defeat Roger Zee in battle.

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

The most recent contest, where the theme is “Prison Break”, started last Wednesday, but I couldn’t get started on my entry because of prior commitments, including the Five Finger Death Punch X Shinedown concert this past Saturday. The concert was fucking awesome, but just like with any one-day vacation, I need to spend some time in recovery mode. The WSS contest will continue for two more days and I’m hoping to get something posted tomorrow night before WWE Raw comes on TV. That story will be called “Screw the Zoo” and it goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

Dijas Kai, Lion Samurai

Sarah Tonin, Human Staff Fighter

PROMPT CONFORMITY: The zoo doubles as Sarah’s prison.

SYNOPSIS: Dijas visits the Dread City Zoo on a mission to free other lions from captivity. His heart drops when he sees that Sarah Tonin, a mentally ill “freak”, is one of the attractions in a cage. Dijas becomes angry when the patrons of the zoo start throwing peanuts and laughing at her. The lion samurai deviates from his mission and makes Sarah his priority. Once she’s freed, the two of them go on a slaughter rampage against the zoo customers. When the zookeepers break out their tranquilizer guns, the two warriors know it’s time to run.

***DOMESTIC DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

ME: You stupid fucking son of a bitch! Get moving, asshole!

SHELDON: What’s he yelling at?

JAMES, REINA, & SHARA (IN UNISON): His computer.