“Marine biologist Chaz Perrone can’t tell a seahorse from a sawhorse.” No kidding! This goofball slash scumbag tried to murder his wife by tossing her overboard during a cruise. So what did she do? Using her athletic talents, she swam over to a bail of Jamaican weed and wound up on a deserted island inhabited by an ex-cop who’s more than happy to help her attain vengeance. But how will Joey Perrone get revenge? Will she shoot Chaz in the skull? Nah, too brutal. Will she kick him in the testicles? Nah, that’s even worse. What could be more American than gunfire and nut shots? Blackmail, of course! Chaz has no idea that his wife Joey survived, but he doesn’t need to know that. He just has to worry his pretty little head off not only about murder charges, but also about falsifying data when doing work in the Florida Everglades. Throughout the entire book, you get the impression that Chaz Perrone is a huge sleaze ball. And then you think to yourself, “Gee, I’d really like to see something bad happen to this scumbag.” The entire book is just one big revenge plot designed to make Chaz shit in his overalls and have the diarrhea splatter ooze down into his already mud-soaked bog boots. What could possibly be more satisfying than that? And since Carl Hiaasen’s characters are always goofy and silly, you don’t have to worry about things getting too dark or brutal. Yes, Chaz Perrone is a heartless bastard, but you wouldn’t wish water boarding on him. Pants-pissing blackmail? That you can wish for and expect the genie to be generous about granting that wish. Goofball adult comedy is pretty much what you can expect from all of Carl Hiaasen’s books, alongside the not-so-subtle environmental messages he imprints in each novel. Despite knowing everything there is to know about him, you never feel like stopping at just one book. Mr. Hiaasen is extremely prolific and his books definitely do NOT blend together. Each one is an exciting thrill ride that will leave your gut busted and your ribs aching. “Skinny Dip” is no different in that respect.
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“When it comes to rights, either one of two things is true. Either we have unlimited rights or no rights at all. Personally, I’m leaning toward unlimited rights. I believe for instance that I have the right to do and say whatever the fuck I please. And if I say something that pisses you off, you have the right to kill me. Where are you going to find a fucking better deal than that? The next time some asshole says to you, ‘I have the right to my opinion!’ say to them, ‘Oh yeah? Well, I have the right to my opinion and my opinion is, you have no right to your opinion!’ Then shoot the motherfucker and walk away!”
-George Carlin-
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