Thursday, January 26, 2023

You Win

Congratulations! You beat me in a war

Want a fucking cookie? How about four?

Go grab me a plate and I’ll regurgitate

A whole bag of Oreos that I just ate


Congratulations! You owned me on the mike

Take your gold medal and take a fucking hike

Your precious prize is made out of chocolate

The gold is urine from my manly man rocket


Congratulations! I’ll never recover

Maybe I should be your brand new prison lover

I’ll be the top and you can be the bottom

Smash your ass like a pumpkin in the middle of autumn


Congratulations! You win at everything forever

I’m sure your victory speech will be funny and clever

Tell them how you cheated me out of first place

Then crack your stupid jokes about gender and race


Congratulations! There’s nothing left to achieve

You’re the king of the mountain, it’s what we believe

Play with your riches until you get burned out

All those cars for nothing, so much for your clout


Congratulations! You drove everyone away

Here’s your trillion dollar check on this lovely payday

Now you’re all alone with nobody to talk to

Not even Creepy McCreeperton wants to stalk you


Congratulations! You won against a guy who never wanted to play

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