VERSE 1
I tried to sing a song called “Daffodil Lament”
But you’re living in my head without paying rent
Changing the lyrics into a pornographic parody
Booing me and laughing like it’s all hilarity
If they gave an award for Jerk of the Year
You’d have millions of them magically appear
Covering your walls like the paint itself
Every closet, every desk, every space on your shelf
CHORUS 1
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s like winning the Golden Raspberry
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s like losing your booby prize cherry
VERSE 2
You joke about war, you joke about famine
Joke about kids getting blasted with a cannon
You laugh it all off, you call it “dark humor”
You call your criticism “fake news rumors”
Gallows humor is real, but let me ask you this
Are you the one wishing that the blade will miss?
The guillotine cuts you, your jokes get the laughs
But if you’re in the crowd, you’re just another ass
CHORUS 2
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s like winning the Gooker Award
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s like falling on a bladeless sword
VERSE 3
You can torch an orphanage, kick a few puppies
Pay the shitty wages to millennial yuppies
You can take the lollipop from a baby’s hand
Drop a few bombs on a foreigner’s land
The judge and jury are always on your side
You got the not guilty vote in a fucking landslide
When your ego and bank account are the same size
You eat steak, drink wine, fuck the nuggets and fries
CHORUS 3
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s almost better than a Medal of Honor
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
It’s almost worth being a heartless monster
Jerk of the Decade! There’s no disputing
Jerk of the Century! Not worth feuding
Jerk of the Millennium! The ultimate truth
Biggest Jerk of All Time! I’ve got proof
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
You’re the Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
Jerk of the Year! Jerk of the Year!
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