Written Implications: Occupy Wrestling

***WRITTEN IMPLICATIONS: OCCUPY WRESTLING***

An authortube meme stolen from Kelly Damon a.k.a. Rainbow Skychild: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK1AVagRXeY

As Kelly (no relation to me) says in the video, this meme is geared towards writers of fantasy and sci-fi since the boundaries for real world scenarios are already set. Well, Occupy Wrestling is an urban fantasy, but it still operates on its own implications, much like pro-wrestling does in the real world.

Occupy Wrestling tells the story of a heated rivalry between blue-collar underdog Mitch McLeod and his bitter billionaire boss Keegan Day. It takes Mitch forever to get a World Championship opportunity and when he finally does, he accidentally kills his opponent. And yet it’s Keegan who ends up behind bars because of his shady dealings with bookies and even the IRS. Everything should be happy in the world of pro-wrestling, right? Wrong! Keegan rolls out a brand new wrestling roster filled with magical monsters and vicious creatures. They’ve got claws, muscles, fangs, fur, and nasty attitudes. They all want what Mitch has: the KDW World Championship. Maybe they want even more than that: his life!

First implication: much like in the real world, the top one-percent is never held accountable. Oh sure, Keegan gets put in a minimum security prison, but what does that really solve? Nothing. He’s still all powerful. He still has demons and monsters at his disposal. He can still make Mitch McLeod’s life a living hell. Keegan could walk down Fifth Avenue, shoot somebody, and not a goddamn thing would happen to him. Sound familiar?

Second implication: Mitch McLeod is a Gary-Stu for a reason and it has nothing to do with me babying him. It has everything to do with him being overprotective of his girlfriend Debra Winter. Debra wants to be a badass wrestler just like her boyfriend, but Mitch refuses to train her out of fear that she’ll be put in sexually exploitative matches. This novella was written before the Women’s Evolution in WWE, so Mitch has a least a little bit of truth in his argument.

Third Implication: Debra Winter will always be in danger as long as she doesn’t know how to fight. It doesn’t matter if she’s with Mitch or in a safe house somewhere: Keegan’s forces of evil will always find her, probably because their animal instincts. For fuck’s sake, Mitch, just train her already! Quit being a goddamn superhero and swallow your fucking pride!

Fourth Implication: the police are largely useless in this novella for a number of reasons. One, they’re being paid off by Keegan Day. Two, some of them just don’t care enough. Three, those that do care are vastly outnumbered. And four, nobody believes that Keegan is unleashing monsters upon his roster. Having a useless police force is necessary in pretty much all of my novels, because if they can solve everything, there’s no point in the main character going through a journey of any kind.

Fifth Implication: training for wrestling in Japan is considerably worse than training anywhere else. And yet in the real world, there are wrestlers who would rather train in a brutal Japanese dojo than get anywhere near former WWE trainer Bill DeMott. You know you suck as a trainer when your students would rather get humiliated and beaten by Japanese wrestlers than learn anything from you. That’s like saying, “I’d rather have my dick sawed off than train with Bill DeMott.” Not quite, but close enough.

Final Implication: Pro-wrestling is treated as a legitimate sport in this novella, no different from football, MMA, or basketball. And yet, the same dumb-ass logic still applies and wrestlers can get away with just about anything. And before you pipe up and say that Keegan went to jail, I must remind you that he still controls everything from his comfy cell. He’s about as powerful as a mafia kingpin. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s got monsters and money, two things you need to succeed as a wrestling promoter.

Well, I had lots of fun doing this! And guess what? If you’re an author of fantasy or sci-fi, you can do this too! I won’t tag anybody, but if you want to tag yourself, you’re more than welcome to do so. Let’s have some fun together! Oh, and don’t forget to purchase a copy of Occupy Wrestling at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online retailers (but only if you’re a wrestling fan, which I can’t stress enough, because you might not enjoy or understand it otherwise). I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

GIRLFRIEND: I’m sorry, Jerry, but I can’t date a man if I don’t respect what he does for a living.

JERRY: You’re a cashier!

-Seinfeld-