Solutions

***SOLUTIONS***

Before I begin, I want everyone to know that this particular topic isn’t directed at one person in particular; it’s just something I’ve had brewing for a while. One of the most popular ways to generate interest in your story is by piling on problems on your main character’s already hefty workload. Or as TV Tropes likes to say, Just Add Ninjas. Or as Jenna Moreci says as well, “Break your hero’s legs with a baseball bat.” I will admit that I struggle with not putting my characters in enough danger. It’s not because I don’t like tension or that I’m intentionally babying my heroes. The main problem with me is that I can’t come up with realistic solutions to these many problems the heroes are facing.

For example, a recent critique against Incelbordination’s seventeenth chapter is that subduing Antero was too easy of a task for Oswald. That’s actually a fair criticism. For a guy who had Oswald wrapped around his finger the entire story, Antero certainly chose the dumbest way to confront him, armed with just a machete and no backup. In hindsight, Antero should have had a better plan. But how many obstacles for Oswald are too many before the little guy gets brutally murdered and nothing is solved? Suppose Antero brought a handgun instead of a machete. It’d be smarter, but how would Oswald realistically combat someone with that kind of advantage? Suppose Antero drove a tank to the dorms. Should Oswald turn into a Super Saiyan Level Four and throw a Kamehameha wave at the oncoming war machine? Again, I’m not trying to disparage the person giving me the critique, but these are points that need to be considered if such a debate will happen.

Another example of something I can foresee going wrong is how easily Scott George from Silent Warrior was freed from prison. Spoiler alert: his bail was paid via a Go Fund Me page set up by Principal Williams. Given the nature of Scott’s crime and how little he knows about prison life, how else was he supposed to walk free? Perhaps instead of bunking with Alan Young, he could have Andy Dufresne from Shawshank Redemption as his cell mate. Once the two dig a tunnel behind a Raquel Welsh poster, they can read copies of Count of Monte Crisco by Alexandree Dumbass until the end of time. Even if escaping jail somehow became the non-sarcastic solution, it’s too ambitious of a plan for someone like Scott. Once he’s free, he’s forever on the run and has no way of redeeming himself. He doesn’t get the girl (Adrienne Simpson), he doesn’t graduate from high school, and he doesn’t teach Adrienne’s father a valuable lesson in respect.

Want another example? Of course you do, that’s why you’re here. About a year and a half ago, I wrote a heavy metal urban fantasy novel called Demon Axe, about a singer who uses a magical microphone to slay his enemies (audiomancy). The microphone in question is considered a MacGuffin, which is defined as any object in which the story revolves around. Spoiler alert: the microphone determines the outcome of the story. MacGuffins are considered a literary sin in most critical circles, but then I ask, what else is Daniel Mercer (the singer) supposed to do? How can he realistically combat someone who has enough fighting experience to murder entire crowds of people at once (that person being the elven terrorist Roger Zee). Daniel’s only combat experience comes from barroom brawls, which hardly emphasizes the technique Roger spent decades learning. Having a powerful weapon like the MacGuffin microphone is the only way to subdue someone as powerful as Roger.

Solutions to major storyline problems aren’t easy to come by, especially if you’ve painted yourself into a corner like I’m so often afraid to do. It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, that’s one of the beta reader’s roles in his or her job: to help come up with solutions for seemingly impossible situations. Granted, they can’t do everything for you, but if you split the brainstorming 50/50, I’m sure the two of you can come up with some feasible solutions. It could be that there is no solution and that your characters have to die a nasty death. It could be that something major has to change in the storyline before the solution is readily available. Working out such kinks is a team effort and acknowledging this will lead to a healthy professional relationship with your beta reader. You’re not alone. You’re never alone.

I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“If you need somebody, call my name. If you want someone, you can do the same. If you want to keep something precious, got to lock it up and throw away the key. You want to hold onto your possessions, don’t even think about me. If it’s a mirror you want, just look into my eyes. Or a whipping boy, someone to despise. Or a prisoner in the dark, tied up in chains you just can’t see. Or a beast in a gilded cage, that’s all some people ever want to be. You can’t control an independent heart. Can’t tear the one you love apart. Forever conditioned to believe that we can’t live here and be happy with less. With so many riches, so many souls, with everything we see that we want to possess. If you love somebody, set them free.”

-Sting singing “If You Love Somebody Set Them Free”-