***EXTREMISM, VOL. 2***
You will learn a lot of things under the teaching tree of
Marie Krepps, CEO of Hollow Hills. One of those valuable lessons relates to
protagonist sympathy. If you want your readers to side with your protagonist,
he or she cannot, I repeat, cannot be worse than the story’s villains. This
sounds like common sense to a lot of people, but it’s a lesson I’ve spent a
lifetime learning. I’m the same guy who once wrote a piece of high school
fiction where the lead character gets a D- in history and then confesses to his
girlfriend that he now relates to the Columbine kids. Yeah, let that sink in
for a minute.
Extremism of this caliber is not uncommon in this wacky
world of ours. I tried to express that in a Poison Tongue Tales story called
Thunder Zell, where the lead character, Jacob Tate, crashes his cheating
girlfriend’s dinner date…by driving a goddamn tank through the walls of a
Chinese restaurant. Now, let’s see here…cheating girlfriend…tank-driving
boyfriend…cheating girlfriend…tank-driving boyfriend…which one could possibly
be more life-threatening? Which one seems less reasonable out of the two?
Although there are some jilted lovers out there who would enjoy the idea of
driving a tank into their ex’s personal space, that’s probably not something
you want to admit in real life.
Speaking of jilted lovers, here comes a wrestling example of
extremism! Yay! You know, because I can’t shut up about wrestling since it’s
all I think about 24/7? Back in 2009, WWE Hall of Famer Hulk Hogan was going
through a rough divorce with his wife and during that time she was dating a
19-year-old friend of their daughter’s. Here’s the exact quote Hulk Hogan gave
to the media: “I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ
[Simpson], cutting everybody’s throat. You live a half a mile from the 24,000
square-foot home you can’t go to anymore and you see some 19-year-old kid
driving through downtown Clearwater [Florida
Now let’s see here…cutting people…dating a
19-year-old…cutting people…dating a 19-year-old….It was obviously a trying time
for Hulk Hogan and he was frustrated beyond belief. But then he starts
channeling OJ Simpson and…yeah, not good. Not good at all. What other horrible
people could be channeled? Let’s say you’re a dude working up the courage to
ask a girl on a date. She calmly says no to you, so you go online and say, “I
could have turned that whole neighborhood into a crime scene, like ER [Eliot
Rodger], shooting everybody in the face.” Yes, rejection hurts, but it
shouldn’t hurt badly enough that you feel like shooting people in the face.
Besides the fact that women are allowed to say no to whomever they want and
that’s how it should be, you’re not going to be the hero of your story if you
can’t keep ER’s name out of your mouth.
But I’m just talking about bad judgment when giving media or
online statements. What about actions to back those threats up? It still stands
to reason that no hero should behave worse than the villains they’re fighting.
To use a real world example that hits close to home for a lot of people, police
brutality. The police are hailed as these superheroes who can do no wrong no
matter how violent they are, yet there are some bad apples in every department
who abuse their power and murder their suspects for minimal shit. Whenever a
police officer commits murder or assault, he or she is almost always acquitted
and praised as a hero by the public at large. While not all officers are like
this, enough of them are, so many in fact that the Black Lives Matter movement
became a necessity in the first place.
Obviously, some of these examples of extreme behavior are
worse than others, but if you’re in the writing business like I am, take
notice. As an author, it’s your job to make your protagonist as relatable and
sympathetic as possible. That doesn’t mean he or she can’t be a villain at
heart. It doesn’t mean that he or she can’t do questionable things every now
and then. But if your protagonist is just one big bucket of gore for no rhyme
or reason and your antagonist is more relatable by comparison, your readers are
going to tune out and you’ve got lots of one and two-star reviews to look forward
to. I learned this lesson the hard way many times in my career and hopefully
the lesson will stick this time around. I’m Garrison Kelly! Even when you feel
like dying, keep climbing the mountain!
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“I never cared about the money, never really needed fame.
You think it would have changed me, but I’ve always been the same. My label
tried to sue me. TMZ tried to screw me. Blabber Mouth can fuck itself ‘cause
they never fucking knew me. Everybody seems like they’re waiting for me to die.
Talk shit behind my back, can’t look me in the eye. They say I’m overrated,
that I should have already faded. Don’t give a shit about it all because I love
to be so hated. I barely get to eat and when I finally get to sleep, I get
dragged out of bed for another meet-and-greet. I shake the hand of every fan
and put on a happy face. I’m spread so fucking thin that I’m all over the
place. I hate riding on the bus. I hate flying in the plane. Sedating myself
just to kill the pain. I have no life, gave up on hope. The whole thing’s
turned into one big joke. I mean no disrespect, but I ain’t picking up the
check. Taking selfies on your phone while you’re breathing down my neck. It’s
getting pretty fucking old and I’m almost nearly done. I’m glad that you were
happier when I was number one. All in all it’s a good life. I got what I want.
I can’t complain. I’m living the good life. A toast to you now. It’s all sham
pain.”
-Five Finger Death Punch singing “Sham Pain”-
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