Every night since Demon Axe’s final concert, all Daniel
Mercer could see was the same creature chasing him down the Holy Mountains .
His assailant’s face was dripping with blood that was lapped up with a lizard
tongue. The creature’s wings were metallic with blade tips at the end of every
feather. His fingers were spikes wrapped in barbed wire.
Despite having all of these weapons at his disposal, the
creature always carried a bloodstained machete, a weapon that has claimed
thousands of lives and traumatized even more. This blade did more damage than
any nuclear bomb ever could. In the face of such a brutal tool of destruction,
all Daniel could do was run as fast as he could while struggling for fresh
oxygen. He tasted his own blood each time he gasped for air. His ribs crackled
and popped like he was running on bubble wrap. His anus burned from sodomy and
was a constant source of yuk-yuk humor for the blade-wielding beast.
One night, Daniel couldn’t run anymore. He tripped over his
own exhausted legs and laid on the gravely ground heaving and spitting up
blood. He was ready for death to take him away to a far better place. This
version of hell was more painful to him than the pyrocosm certain religions
imagined. “Take me now,” begged Daniel. “Kill me, damn it!”
The creature slowly and mockingly stalked its prey with the
machete raised high in the air. One slash would be all it took to send Daniel
to a more peaceful backdrop. One painful slash that would last all but a few
seconds before eternal darkness swallowed Daniel’s vision. And then the
creature tossed its weapon to the side while ripping away at its face, sending
bloody chunks every which way and making the Holy Mountains
more hellish than they needed to be.
Underneath all of that rancid horror was the loveliest, most
beautiful face Daniel had ever seen. Long black hair, cherry-colored lips,
creamy green skin, and radiant eyes that only an angel could possess. It was
the pointed ears that gave this woman away, however. Not even the blindest of
the blind could mistake those quirky ears. And that voice…”Hello? Hello? Is
there anybody in there?”
A flood of white light brushed across Daniel’s field of
vision and the scene changed from diabolic torment to waking up in a hospital
bed. The Demon Axe leader screamed as he sat up in his bed, but breathed more
calmly once he realized where he was. The room was dark, but he could still see
the rows of flowers left behind during his time of slumber. He lifted up his
hospital gown and saw a nasty-looking surgical scar across his torso. With a
delicate touch, he felt his ribcage and noticed there were metal plates and
screws where his bones used to be. Breathing heavily didn’t hurt as much then
as it did when Roger broke his ribs.
Daniel plopped backward in his bed and breathed continual
sighs of relief. The nightmare was over. The trauma would last longer once the
initial relief wore off, but for this moment, he truly felt safe and relaxed.
There was a gentle knock on the door before Raven let
herself in. Instead of wearing her battle outfit, she was dressed in royal red
robes adorned with runic symbols and an emerald-encrusted crown atop her head.
Daniel had naughty thoughts about his girlfriend’s new look, but tried not to
get too hung up on it given the circumstances. Raven whispered, “Daniel, you’re
finally awake. Thank goodness you’re okay, my love.” She tiptoed up to him and
gave a warm hug, but lightly enough so as not to aggravate the metal singer’s
injuries.
Daniel hugged her back and didn’t want to let go of his
newfound queen. But when he finally did, he asked, “How long have I been
asleep? It feels like forever.”
“You were in a coma for a whole year. The doctors didn’t
think you were going to live through the surgery. But you’ve proven what my
father knew about you all along: you’re a fighter, Daniel. You’re a no-nonsense
warrior with so much left to do,” said Raven with a beautiful smile.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Daniel with a sheepish grin.
“But seriously though…how am I supposed to rule a whole kingdom when I can’t
even get out of bed? What the hell’s been going on while I was asleep?”
Raven sniffled a little bit before saying, “Father finally
passed away. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but it still hurts
to this day. I’ve taken over the throne in his absence, but also in yours.
Daniel, I can’t do this by myself. You’re the one who gave my people hope.
You’re the one they trust the most. You were directly responsible for ending
the nightmare that was Roger Zee.”
“Come on, Raven, you knew I had help,” said Daniel with
another sheepish expression.
“Yes, you did have help, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t
play a huge part in the outcome. Everybody needs help whether it’s with saving
the world or getting over psychological trauma. And now I’m asking you, Daniel,
to help me run the elven kingdom. I understand you need more time to recover.
But this elf society is a team effort. We’re all in this together. We have to
rebuild our structures and bring peace to the land once more. I’d love for you
to be a part of that, Daniel.”
The Lord of the Pit stared into Raven’s gorgeous eyes with
so many pros and cons to consider. Was he really ready for this kind of
responsibility? Was he ready to exchange his role as a victim for that of a courageous
leader? These questions weighed more heavily on his heart that the metal plates
protecting his surgically-reconstructed ribs.
Another light knock on the door later and a whole host of
friends came to see Daniel had finally awakened. Tiger Man, Snowball, and Bone
Warrior were still dressed in their monk robes and terrifying masks while Shawn
Henry wore metal armor with a sheriff’s badge emblazoned on the chest.
The detective smiled at Daniel while carrying a plate of
hospital food that looked too good to have come from such a place. “Danny boy,
what’s up? Glad you’re finally awake! Here, have some dinner.”
The singer gave an awkward look to the contents of the plate
once it was placed in his lap. Mashed potatoes and asparagus weren’t the most
triggering thing on the menu. It was when he picked up a rack of barbecued beef
ribs that he chuckled nervously and uttered a squeaky, “Thanks?”
Shawn asked, “What’s wrong, Daniel? Too soon?”
Holding his thumb and forefinger together, the patient said,
“It might be just a little bit too soon.”
Bone Warrior opened his robe to reveal a full skeletal suit
underneath and asked, “So this isn’t cool either?”
The entire room busted up laughing, including a weak attempt
at a chuckle from Daniel, who said, “Actually, that’s fucking awesome.” His
smile grew wider when he said, “You guys are the best. I wouldn’t trade you for
the world.”
Snowball leaned on Daniel’s bed and asked, “So when are you
getting out of this damn thing? We’ve got an album to record and a kingdom to run.
That’s two jobs at once, buddy. We’ve already got the guitars, bass, and drums
recorded. We just need those sweet ass vocals of yours. Are you up for doing
two jobs at once?” After shrugging silence from Daniel, Snowball said, “Come
on, big boy! You killed Roger Zee like the badass you are! You can do
anything!”
The Lord of the Pit gazed around the room with so much
responsibility in his hands. He took in the scent of every lavender flower left
behind for him, no doubt from fans and/or elf constituents. He looked at his
soon-to-be wife with a combination of love and lust in his eyes. He nodded at
Shawn as a sign of confidence for his newfound role as elven sheriff. The only
three people left to consider were the ones staring him in the face with those evil,
vile masks. These three guys looked every bit as awesome as Daniel’s band mates
of the past, most notably from the first incarnation of Demon Axe to the
short-lived Demon Death Juice. They also looked tough enough to hang in a
wrestling ring with Johnny Vega and Sonia Marquez, may they rest more
peacefully than Daniel did in his coma.
Taking everything into consideration, Daniel P. Mercer
a.k.a. The Lord of the Pit had one last request: “Get me my goddamn face paint.
We’ve got lots of shit to do and little time to do it in. Fuck it, I’m ready!”
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