***WRITING EVERYDAY***
Lord knows how many times I’ve beaten this topic to death.
Every time I logon to Face Book, I see a primordial ocean of memes telling me
to write every single day of the week with no excuses. As frustrating as it is
sometimes to read those memes, they’re absolutely right. If I could write every
single day, I’d be one smiling motherfucker. It’s not like I haven’t been put
on that schedule before. You don’t graduate from WWU without writing everyday.
Hell, even in 2011 when my schizophrenia was flaring out of control, writing
was a daily grind that I embraced.
There’s not on particular thing that contributed to my
ability to write everyday in the past. It was more like a multitude of
happenings. I was younger, so I had more energy. I drank cans of Red Bull and
Amp Lightning like there was no tomorrow. I also was a proud practitioner of
the Atkins Diet, which resulted in my minimum weight being somewhere around 240
lbs. But just like with all good things in life, these temporary fixes were
just that: temporary. Being young doesn’t last forever, as evidenced by my
induction into the dirty thirties. The energy drinks were making my heart race,
so I had to stop drinking them at the risk of having a heart attack. The Atkins
Diet, just like with all fad diets, was never meant to be permanent, so now I’m
back up to 300 lbs.
Now that I’m older, heavier, and caffeine-free, it seems as
though I spend most of my time walking around like a zombie and napping with
Smokey. Napping with Smokey is a wonderful activity, but it doesn’t result in
creative bursts. Because of this newfound tiredness, my head isn’t as clear as
it once was and when your head’s fogged up, you can’t concentrate. When you
can’t concentrate, your writing turns to shit. Sure, first drafts are never
meant to be perfect, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an obligation to at
least try to make them that way.
One of the things I’m currently doing to remedy this problem
of mental exhaustion is using a CPAP every night. It’s an oxygen machine
designed to counteract sleep apnea, a disease where you stop breathing in your
sleep and wake up tired the next day. Sleep apnea can be caused by a number of
things, weight gain, a large neck, and antipsychotic medications among them.
Even though I use my CPAP every night, it’s not a surefire guarantee that I’ll
be alert and ready to go for that particular day. Some days I can knock it out
of the park, other days I just want to lay in bed and do jack shit. That’s part
of the reason why I get a lot of creative work done in the nighttime: because I
spend most of the morning and afternoon trying to wake the fuck up.
I admit that a lot of my mental exhaustion is my fault. The
Atkins Diet failed because I love carbs too much. I especially like foods from
Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, KFC, and Quizno’s. The most I do for exercise is walking
two miles every day in the frigid weather, but it’s only a matter of time
before the rain, snow, and wind come rolling through and going outside is no
longer an option. I have a gym membership, but no car, so I can’t go whenever I
want. If I had the chance to exercise everyday at an intense rate without
gassing out in the first few seconds, my food addiction might not even be an
issue. And yes, that’s what it is, folks: an addiction to food. Sugar, salt,
and fats are all more addictive than cocaine. They’re designed to be that way,
because the food industry needs repeat customers. Mission accomplished. It’s not a copout; it’s
the truth.
If I could write every single day without worrying about
mental energy, you’re damn right I would. I’m self-motivated, I’m hardworking,
and every supervisor I’ve ever had admired my work ethic. Throughout my college
days, both at Olympic and Western Washington ,
I’ve only had five C’s and two D’s. The two D’s were in the same subject:
physics. The one C at Olympic College was for a sociology class taught by a
former Harvard professor. The other four C’s happened at WWU, where everything
is by design harder than anything taught at a community college like Olympic.
More often than not, I’ve had either an A or a B in whatever class I took at
the two colleges. That’s a lot of fucking classes and only a handful of times
have I been unsatisfied with my grades.
I listed those credentials not to toot my own horn, but to
prove that I’m capable of finishing any project I set my mind to. It’s all a
matter of having an endless supply of mental energy that day. If not today,
then tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.
Or the day after that. The easy solution for me would be to eat better,
exercise harder, and keep a positive mindset. But the truth is, if it was that
easy, I’d be a middleweight by now with novels out the yin-yang. Being healthy
is a skill. That’s why we have entire competitions and games dedicated to being
a skillful athlete: hockey, wrestling, basketball, football, or whatever. It’s
not a skill that can be perfected right away. It’s one that has to be crafted
and learned over time, just like writing.
For those of you out there who post memes suggesting that I
should write everyday, know that I’m listening with both ears wide open. Not
only do I listen, but I also agree. I’ve done it before and I can do it again.
The ability to work hard doesn’t just go away because you’re done with school.
And whatever you do, don’t let anybody tell you that you’re lazy just because
you were born in a certain time period where technology was readily available.
That’s just a dickish statement made by bitter people who gave up on their dreams
a long time ago. I may be mentally fogged up, but I’m not down for the count!
Not even close! In fact, just when I was certain I wouldn’t get any creative
work done today, I wrote this blog! Take that, motherfuckers! We’ve got ears,
say cheers!
***AMERICAN DARKNESS 3***
Looking back at the short story synopses I wrote back in
2013 and 2014, it’s noticeable how little detail I put into them judging from
how short they are. Such is the case with “Dark Skills” (holy shit, that’s a
lot of darkness!). The WSS has a new contest going with “Signature” as their
main theme. So, here’s how everything fits together:
CHARACTERS:
1. Matt
Singleton, Serial Killer
2. Carl
Howard, Serial Killer
3. Michelle
Woods, Victim
PROMPT CONFORMITY: Carl is in the process of tattooing
Michelle’s lower back with his indecipherable signature when Matt breaks into
the apartment.
SYNOPSIS: Matt and Carl are rival serial killers who want
the same victim. Michelle is all alone in her apartment and ripe for the
picking. The two killers use different entrances to gain access to the
apartment and argue with each other over who gets the kill.
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
Another thing I’ve noticed is that there are two synopses in
my archives that revolve around the Spanish word “Comegente”, which translates
into English as “cannibal” or “human eater”. One of those synopses is titled
Los Comegentes and features a seven foot tall Mexican gangster named Patrick
Ortiz whose weapon of choice is a chainsaw. Great stuff, huh? Guess what? Patrick
is going to be the next Dark Fantasy Warrior.
***MOVIE DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
DANTE: I can’t believe
you. I finally get my shit together. I’m hours away from getting out of here
and really starting my life and you somehow manage to obliterate all of that
and reduce me to a convict!
RANDAL: Oh yeah, it’s my
fault your life’s fucked up. I’m the engaged guy who knocked up my boss.
JAY: You knocked up the
guy who owns Mooby’s? Ew!
-Clerks 2-
