"Swamplandia!" by Karen Russell

BOOK TITLE: Swamplandia!

AUTHOR: Karen Russell

YEAR: 2011

GENRE: Fiction

SUBGENRE: Magic Realism

GRADE: Mixed

In the Everglades-based theme park Swamplandia, Hilola Bigtree wrestles alligators for a live crowd of stereotypical tourists. The entertaining action is enough to keep the Bigtree clan financially stable. And then one tragedy after another strikes the family. Hilola gets cancer and passes away. Hilola’s husband, simply known as Chief Bigtree, ventures out to the mainland for a “business trip” (which feels more like crazy abandonment). Grandpa Sawtooth becomes senile and is confined to a nursing home. The eldest son Kiwi tries to earn the minimum wage at a rival theme park called World of Darkness. The middle child Oscela becomes obsessed with dark magic and runs off with a ghost to marry him. And now it’s up to Ava Bigtree, Hilola’s daughter and understudy, to bring them all back together and save Swamplandia from becoming foreclosed on.

If I could use one word to describe the mood of this novel, it’s heartbreaking. One moment of depression snowballs into several other tearjerking moments. Losing a mother is bad enough. But then the financial burdens stemming from her loss become all too real for any reader. We’re currently living in an economy where homes are being taken away, people are becoming broke from healthcare costs, and the only people who are hiring the new blood are minimum wage employers. Sometimes, working to exhaustion isn’t the answer no matter how many times the Republican Party says it is. In fact, exhaustion is what makes this novel so depressing, because we see the aftermath of trying to scrape together enough money and stay alive. It’s stressful to think about and I wouldn’t wish this kind of poverty on my worst enemies. In terms of putting together a realistic picture of economic worries, Swamplandia does that job perfectly.

I know the World of Darkness theme park is supposed to be a horrible place to work judging from how poorly Kiwi Bigtree is treated by everyone there. It is, after all, a hell-themed amusement park. The swimming pools are dyed red (to resemble fire), the merchandise has devil horns on it, the food is fattening (because gluttony is a sin), and all of the rides are basically comparable to being swallowed by a ferocious, fiery demon. While I condemn the working conditions of the World of Darkness, I praise Karen Russell for inventing such a place in her novel. I am a dark fantasy nerd and the diabolic themes of this place make me think of barreling through Diablo II: Lord of Destruction dungeons with a dual-wielding barbarian. But I know why Karen Russell had this theme park in her story: because she wanted to parody Disneyworld and hold a mirror up to their horrible working conditions. It tickles my dark fantasy urges and depresses me at the same time.

However, there is one thing that irks me about this novel and it’s the reason I’m giving it a three-star review instead of a four or five-star one. The pacing of Swamplandia feels like I’m dragging my eyes across sandpaper just to make it to the next chapter. In other words, it’s slow and it’s tiring. I don’t know if I should owe the exhausting pace to the purple prose writing style, the obscure references, the over-thinking and overanalyzing, or the constant dips into the past. I can’t quite pinpoint what makes this book such a slow read, but if Karen Russell wanted me to feel just as exhausted as the main characters after they work their fingers to the bone to protect their theme park, then mission accomplished. It may have been by design, but that doesn’t mean it’s an effective technique.

If you want to read a story about Murphy’s Law on steroids and have the patience of a saint, I would gladly recommend Swamplandia to you. A warning to the wise: if you manage to make it towards the middle and you haven’t figured out if this is a fantasy or modern day drama book, I don’t blame you. The only reason why I know it’s labeled “Magic Realism” is because I looked it up on Wikipedia. Maybe the genre confusion is all part of the suspense. That would have been a great tactic if the suspense wasn’t reserved for the near-end of the book. A mixed grade goes to Karen Russell’s debut novel. Will I ever pick up another Karen Russell book again? I haven’t decided yet.

Debating

***DEBATING***

Even though I post a lot of short stories with controversial topics and post John Oliver videos on my Face Book page, I actually don’t like debating that much. I agree with the idea of being open to new ideas and not being completely coddled from the opposing side. However, if someone tries to engage me in a debate, the most talking points I’ll ever have in that conversation is…maybe two. After those talking points are on the table, I have nothing left and I’m completely vulnerable to the limitless number of talking points the other guy has. Being on this jobber losing streak in a debate has nothing to do with the fact that I’m right or wrong. It just means that I don’t have an unlimited number of talking points. I suppose I could cure that with extensive research, but that only adds maybe two or three more talking points to the already short list.

It didn’t dawn on me just how bad my debating skills were until I moved into my dorm room at Western Washington University in 2007. I had a roommate named Carl who was always helpful to me and an all around nice guy. However, when he tried to engage me in a debate, I would sit there in silence not knowing how to answer his talking points. Carl described himself as a “conservative with a strong liberal twist”, but most of his talking points were right-leaning in nature. He’d present all of these carefully-worded arguments that went on for about a minute or a minute and a half and it always drove me nuts that I couldn’t debunk all of them.

So whenever I hear somebody talk about open-mindedness, I always tell them it’s a two way street. In other words, if you want me to be open to your viewpoints, you have to be open to mine. But that’s the problem: my viewpoints only have a lifespan of one burst of alphabet soup. After that, it’s over. I’m like a bottle rocket when it comes to debating, which is why I avoid it most of the time.

Of course, there’s another reason why I avoid debates and it’s because I have this fear of offending my best friends by justifying the things they hate. It’s the reason why I don’t wave a Richard Dawkins book in the face of one of my Christian friends. Not only is it offensive to do, but it could kill the friendship. I put love and friendship before politics and religion every single time. If somebody gives me a ride when I need one or cooks me a nice meal or gives me twenty bucks to buy my favorite book, why should it matter what side of the political spectrum they’re on? Of course, I wouldn’t accept a million dollars from Donald Trump, but that’s because…well…he’s Donald Trump. But you get what I’m saying, right?

So if you see me back out of an argument, it’s not because I’m closing myself off to that person. It’s because unlike that person, I can’t keep talking forever and ever and ever. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to watch some more John Oliver videos and chase them down with a rant by Immortal Technique about vegetarianism. Peace! I’m out!

***SWAMPLANDIA***

As many of you have noticed either from my Deviant Art journals or my Good Reads account, I’ve been chipping away at “Swamplandia” by Karen Russell for a little under two months now. According to my Good Reads account, I’m 83% done with it, which means I’m going to spend one day blowing through the rest of it. Even though I’m not finished with it yet, I’ve already decided that it’s going to receive a mixed grade (three stars) when I review it. The concept is great, the depressing themes are great, and even the idea of a World of Darkness theme part ignites the dark fantasy passion within me. But what gives it a three star rating is the pacing. It’s slow enough to tire my eyes out after five or six pages of reading. I don’t know what exactly to owe the pacing to, but it’s definitely a slow one and that would explain why I’ve spent so much time with this book. That and it’s 400 pages long.

***WRESTLING DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

JERRY LAWLER: If Emma was a vegetable, she’d be a cute-cumber.

MAURO RANALLO: The world is pun-derful and I’m glad you agree, King.

Dark Fantasy

***DARK FANTASY***

This is going to come as a shock to a lot of people (eye roll)…but I’m a dark fantasy nut. You’ll probably need a crane to pick your jaw up off the floor after that revelation. Every chance I get, I always talk about black magic no matter what the situation is. Here are some examples:

When the power went out in Port Orchard a few weeks ago due to a windstorm, I described the town as being at the mercy of “The Aeromancers”, or wizards who specialize in wind magic. It was really just Mother Nature being an asshole, but I like the dark fantasy version better.

My most painful memories in life are referred to as “Demons”. It’s a common word for a lot of people to use, but I take it to an entirely differently level. I actually see those memories as hellish monsters that must be hunted with barbaric force. That could explain why I like the band Demon Hunter despite not being religious. That and they make good music.

If I ever decide to embark on a career in heavy metal music (beyond writing song lyrics), I’d want my band to be called The Pyrocrats, which is a Greek word that basically means we govern with fire. Granted, I don’t actually want to set buildings on fire, because that would be illegal. They call it “dark fantasy” for a reason.

If I ever decide to get a tattoo (which will never happen because I have a low tolerance for pain), I’d want to have a pair of dragon wings on my back. Why? Because every time I find something in life I want to go to war with, I “breathe dragon fire on it”. But that’s not dark fantasy, that’s high fantasy. It could be dark fantasy one day.

Every fantasy short story or novel I’ve ever written has been described by Good Reads members as “deliciously violent” (or something to that effect). There’s fast-paced martial arts action, energy slinging, and blood (lots and lots of blood). Violence is a necessary part of the dark fantasy genre because it combines magic and horror.

Most of the monsters in my stories are designed to be scary in some way. They can hatch tarantulas, they can cover someone in scorpions, they can be extremely hairy, or they could wear a freaky mask of some kind. Pink Floyd the Wall and WWE are my biggest influences when it comes to scary characters.

You know the drawings of my short story and novel characters? I refer to them as “Dark Fantasy Warriors”. They’re violent, they’re vicious, they’re nasty, and they can take any Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter situation and cover it in blood. Mmmmmm, blood.

Who do you have to thank for all of this delicious darkness? The people at Blizzard, of course. They created Diablo II: Lord of Destruction (a dark fantasy RPG) and I enjoyed the shit out of playing it for nearly all of my life. That computer game is the main reason why I have so many barbarians in my stories, Deus Shadowheart being the most famous example.

I’m currently reading a book called “Swamplandia!” by Karen Russell and there’s a rival theme park called The World of Darkness, which is basically like Disney World, but with a demonic theme. I wouldn’t want to work there due to the way they treat their employees, but I’d love to spend a day there and ride the rides. Eh, maybe I shouldn’t. Kiwi Bigtree is in enough trouble as it is.

That’s all folks! Actually, there are probably more examples, but I can’t think of any right now. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***

It’s a new week, which means a new story. The theme we’ve got this time around is Contrast. The story this theme produces is called “King Blizzard” (now that we’re on the topic of the dark fantasy genre). It goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

King Blizzard, Tyrannical Giant

Jason Clark, Farmer

PROMPT CONFORMITY: The contrast in size between King Blizzard and Jason Clark is astronomical.

SYNOPSIS: For centuries, King Blizzard has bullied the people of The Zeal Empire by stealing food from their farms and tromping all over the land if he doesn’t get what he wants. In the past, soldiers and mages have all been sent out to slay the giant, but all that did was lead them to the slaughter. For as long as he owned his farm, Jason would always surrender his food without incident. That changes when he decides to stand up to the giant. He might get himself stomped on in the process, but in his mind, it’s better than living life without his family, whom Blizzard killed when his “payment” was late one year.

***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

SEBASTIAN LUND: Chris is the one with the funny accent.

CHRIS LASALLE: Y’all are the ones with accents.

-NCIS: New Orleans-