Conditioned to Ignore Me

VERSE 1

The Clockwork Orange magic spell

Gave you a brainwashed story to tell

Conditioned to ignore me no matter what

Whether I hurt inside or have a deeper cut

I could burn a building to the ground

Or I could rescue an abused hound

Optimist, pessimist, who gives a fuck?

If it’s a cry for help, I’m shit out of luck

CHORUS

Conditioned to ignore me

Because you find me boring

Because I’m down on my knees

Begging for me to finally be seen

VERSE 2

Pavlov’s sorcery has got you by the balls

Conditioned to laugh whenever I fall

Conditioned to walk right past me

Conditioned to low-key blast me

It’s meat paste and the bell once again

Making drooling slaves out of good friends

I could burn the world or buy you pearls

Who’d give a fuck? Any boy or girl?

CHORUS

Conditioned to ignore me

Because you find me boring

Because I’m down on my knees

Begging for me to finally be seen

VERSE 3

I could hack the biggest computer database

I could kiss my kitty on his fuzzy little face

I could ride a nuclear missile like a horsy

I could pet every Labrador and every Corgi

Your conditioned response is still the same

To forget that I exist or that I have a name

Who put this spell on your pretty little head?

Who was the one who wished your soul dead?

EXTENDED CHORUS

Conditioned to ignore me

Because you find me boring

Because I’m down on my knees

Begging for me to finally be seen

Conditioned to reject me

Chew me up then digest me

Because I can’t scream loud enough

Somebody else already has it rough

Cold

VERSE 1

I gave up on helping you a long time ago

The tears in your eyes continued to flow

You never wanted help, never wanted peace

The negativity never really wanted to cease

You argue even after being proven wrong

Your heart is weak, your ego is strong

I’ll never help those who won’t help themselves

I guess that makes my heart cold as hell

CHORUS

You wonder why I act so cold

Because this shit is getting old

Sick of watching drama unfold

It’s the final time you will be told

VERSE 2

Believe it or not, I was once in your shoes

But I turned negativity into the oldest news

Took me many years to see clearly now

At my kind of age, I’m feeling damn proud

My ego was once the size of good old Texas

I had no interest in cleaning my own messes

I hated the world with a burning passion

If I hadn’t listened, I’d wear funeral fashion

EXTENDED CHORUS 1

You wonder why I act so cold

Because this shit is getting old

Sick of watching drama unfold

It’s the final time you will be told

Call me heartless, call me cold

Your hand was never mine to hold

Take a chance, be brave and bold

Or sleep underground covered in mold

BRIDGE

I’ve never been great at the toughest love

Now my new role fits just like a glove

You’ve pushed my buttons too many times

With the number of times I’ve heard you whine

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

You wonder why I act so cold

Because this shit is getting old

Sick of watching drama unfold

It’s the final time you will be told

Call me an asshole, call me a bastard

Call me anything, it doesn’t matter

You’re going to listen if you like it or not

Wipe away your tears and bubbly snot

"The Lovecraft Anthology" by HP Lovecraft

 

 

Do you feel like there’s no hope for the future? Do you feel like everywhere you go there’s something always there to pull you under? If you said yes to either of these questions, just know that you’re not in a Lexapro commercial. It’s much, much worse. You’re a character in the graphic novel rendition of “The Lovecraft Anthology”. This isn’t just any collection of horror stories we’re talking about. HP Lovecraft is a legend in his genre. His horror revolves around terrifying monsters that not just destroy everything around them, but drive the main characters to madness. Now do you wish you were in a Lexapro commercial? Well, let’s see what we’ve got here. The most obvious example of maddening pessimism is the Call of Cthulu. Cthulu is a gigantic, oily creature with multiple tentacles and a head so ugly that you won’t feel like eating anything for weeks. But really, do you expect your sanity to last only for a few weeks? Wrong, pacho! And if you don’t believe me, try taking a look at the tale where a monstrous force has infected a farmland and everybody who eats the crops has their brains turn to liquid shit. What about the tale where mermen emerge from the sea to claim what’s rightfully theirs, all whilst surrounding the main character in a futile escape attempt on his part. Case in point, you’ve got nowhere to go, motherfucker. As for me personally, I don’t get frightened that easily from horror stories. Most of the time, I just find the violence disgustingly disturbing. In this graphic novel, not only is the violence disturbing, but it’s actually frightening, which is the whole point of horror: to scare the living crap out of people! There’s one description that really got the best of me in terms of pants-pissing fright. The main character in one of the stories actually describes his heart as feeling like someone was gripping it tightly as a fearful reaction. Of course, nobody actually had a tight grip on his heart…right? Maybe I’m wrong about it just being a description. Truth be told, I put absolutely nothing passed HP Lovecraft. He will do anything to anybody as long as his pessimism serves him well. There are no happy endings, there are no fairy tale archetypes, it’s all just one huge clusterfuck of insanity. If you really want to feel like the world is ending without having a bunch of whackos spouting things about 2012 in your face, buy “The Lovecraft Anthology” instead. I’d end this review by saying that everybody wins, but that’s not entirely true, now is it?

 

 

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

 

Q: What did the masochist say after eating at Red Lobster?

A: Mmmmmmm!!