Feels Like Homework

CHORUS 1

Chowing down on food feels like homework

Being in a good mood feels like homework

Everything you do feels like homework

Feels like homework, feels like homework

VERSE 1

When getting A’s and B’s is all you’ve known

Getting anything less can make you feel alone

Ego takes a bruising, but not as bad as the brain

Every failure makes you question if you’re sane

Pop the pills like they’re Butterfinger BB’s

Eat every single pizza from the kitchen at Cici’s

No exercise today, because what’s the point?

Lay on the couch, watch the tube, smoke a joint

CHORUS 2

Playing videogames feels like homework

Remembering your name feels like homework

Doing more of the same feels like homework

Feels like homework, feels like homework

VERSE 2

Got an hour to kill before you hit the sack

Read a cheap romance from your library stack

Write a story or two about murderous goblins

Watch BoJack Horseman, get on with the sobbing

Every leisure activity comes with a final grade

Forever shamed for the lack of money made

Calling in sick starts to feel necessary

“Sorry, boss man, I’m ready to be buried”

CHORUS 3

Leaving the house feels like homework

Clicking the mouse feels like homework

Wearing Levi Strauss feels like homework

Feels like homework, feels like homework

Breathing in and out feels like homework

Asking what life’s about feels like homework

Disproving your doubt feels like homework

Feels like homework, feels like homework

VERSE 3

Tell the English professor as you leave her class

“You can take your D- and shove it up your ass!”

Tell the math department when you graduate

“You deserve every ounce of venom and hate!”

Tell the history department when you retire

“I hope this whole school gets set on fire!”

Tell the universe when it’s ready to take you

“Let me rest in peace or I’ll fucking make you!”

Merrill Cody

Of all the things I’ve written back in the early days of my writing career, the one series I’m most ashamed of is Satire of Ruin. If you’ve known me since 2004, you’ve seen this series of movie scripts posted on my Deviant Art account and my old website Macaroni & Ownage Productions.
It revolves around an aspiring screenwriter named Julian Kane who lashes out against everybody who criticizes his work. Sometimes it’s just a screaming fit, other times he actually beats people up. Naturally, Mr. Kane needed somebody to keep his aggression under control. That person is none other than the subject of this blog post, a former detective turned filmmaker, Merrill Cody.

Now that I look back on this little series of mine known as Satire of Ruin, I can appreciate the patience that Merrill had for his pupil Julian. In order to be around an explosive personality such as Julian, Merrill needed to have the patience of a saint. Patience doesn’t come easily for someone who used to make a living by solving crimes and putting crooks behind bars.

Julian might even be a crook for the things he did in my movie scripts. Even though Merrill didn’t necessarily have a badge anymore, he could just as easily take down Julian and make a citizen’s arrest. Merrill didn’t do that. Instead, he gave his pupil some advice when the latter was traumatized from a bout of prison rape: go to India and mediate with the monks. This would either prove to be useful advice or it would be Merrill’s way of saying to Julian, “I’m done with you, you’re someone else’s problem now.” I guess even saintly ex-cops can run out of patience eventually.

So what does Merrill Cody do now? Does he take on another pupil or does he continue his film career alone? The man had his trust broken by a rage-a-holic who can’t take criticism worth a damn. He’s not even sure if he can trust his actors and actresses to put on a good show for his audience. Even the dude who holds the shotgun microphone can be a little suspicious at times.

Is it time to finally retire this character and let him live on the beach for the rest of his life? Or does he have one last burning spark of trust within him to take on another pupil for his filmmaking ventures? Or maybe he’s so bitter by being betrayed that he’ll go back to being a cop just for the sake of putting assholes in jail.

No matter what path I choose for Merrill Cody to take, I hope he can be as wise as his age suggests. I wrote the final installment of Satire of Ruin in 2006, which made me a 21-year-old at the time. I’m well beyond that age now and have a much different worldview. Can I give Merrill Cody one more chance at the spotlight? Can I give any of my Satire of Ruin characters one more chance or are they all beyond redemption? Only time will tell.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“You’re like a high school dropout: no class.”

-Fort Minor rapping “High Road”-