Ed, Edd, n' Eddy

TV SHOW TITLE: Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy
CREATOR: Danny Antonucci
YEARS ACTIVE: 1999-2009
GENRE: Animated Comedy
RATING: TV-Y7 for crude humor
GRADE: Pass


In the crazy cul-de-sac of Peach Creek, three preteen boys aptly named Ed, Edd (Double D), and Eddy try to scam the other children out of their allowances with elaborate services and crude goods. Their scams always end up in a disastrous failure either because the kids catch on, Ed botches the whole thing, or the infamous Kanker Sisters gatecrash their way through the episodes. Sometimes the episode doesn’t truly start until after the scam has failed, in which case a hilarious adventure filled with slapstick comedy is in store for the three Ed’s, which also most of the time ends horribly for the slippery rogues.

When going through a list of things to like about this series, the characters are at the top, especially when talking about the three Ed’s. Even though they share a variation of the name Edward and are best friends until the end, the three kids couldn’t be more polarizing in terms of personality and how they interact with the other kids. Ed is the dunderheaded muscle of the group, Double D is the scrawny brains, and Eddy is the loudmouthed hustler who comes up with every scam the three attempt. Their opposing personalities mesh so well together that the comedy can come from any angle. It’s part of the reason why the show stayed fresh for a whole decade before it was ended.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for five other characters who occupy the show. It’s rare for me to lodge complaints at mediums that I give a passing grade to, but these five characters in question warrant it. The three Kanker Sisters are at the top of any watcher’s shit list. They claim to have romantic crushes on the Ed’s, but come off as bullies when they try to get their attention, leading them to look like rapists or molesters. Then you have the stereotypical jock Kevin, who’s always calling the Ed’s “dorks” and finding other ways to harass them. The fifth character in question has earned every B-word the audience thinks of calling her. Her name is Sarah and she’s the bratty, spoiled, loud, and violent little sister of Ed. It’s rare to see justice served to these five jerks, but when it happens, it’s sweet to watch. Remember the episode where Ed was in a grumpy mood, so he yelled at Sarah and turned Eddy into a baseball bat before knocking Kevin out of the park? If only he could do those things to the Kanker Sisters.

In addition to the wild antics of each character and the comedy that spawns from it, there’s also a little bit of mystique when it comes to the show. Aside from the regular roster of characters, no other children are on the show, not even as extras. The only way we would ever see an adult on the show is if their arms and legs are showing, but little else. It’s because of this mystique that I keep watching the show when new episodes are out; I keep secretly hoping to see an adult or other character.

My wishes were answered during the final episode of Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy, which was an hour-long TV movie called The Ed’s Big Picture Show. Prior to this conclusion to the series, Eddy was always bragging about how his older brother was so cool and how he struck fear in the hearts of other children. When Eddy’s nameless brother finally appears on screen, he turns out to be a sadistic bully who torments Eddy in front of the other kids. The brother is eventually taken out by a swinging trailer door and Eddy apologizes to the other kids for every scam he created in his sibling’s name. The end of the TV movie shows the cul-de-sac kids accepting the apology and making the Ed’s their best friends. It was a heartwarming ending to a series where failure is part of the crude humor.

Having this series as a part of my life for a decade makes me wonder if Danny Antonucci is going to create any other series that are as good or better than Ed, Edd, n’ Eddy. I haven’t heard anything as of late, which is sad, because Mr. Antonucci is a talented cartoonist who not only created a television show, but a piece of his soul, which is corny to say, but I said it anyways. Come back, Danny! Come back!

Anime Roots

Whenever my niece Reina watches anime on TV, I always make it a point to poke my head in the room and say something along these lines in a high-pitched girl voice: “Yuki yuki suki! Teriyaki fried chicken! Let’s kill the monsters! Yay!” The first time I mocked her shows in this way, she marched up to me and yelled, “Don’t make fun of my show!” before giving me one of her patented tickle attacks on the armpits and belly. Little does Reina know that there was a point in my life where I enjoyed anime just as much as she did. Whenever someone asked me what anime shows I watched, I said, “Just the ones they show on Cartoon Network”. And boy, did Cartoon Network have a huge rolodex of anime back in the late 90’s and mid 2000’s. My very first anime show was a gem from the 90’s called Robotech. I kept falling head over heels in love with Lisa Hayes and Dana Sterling. I never wanted to admit being in love with anybody since I feared gold-diggers back then, but Lisa Hayes and Dana Sterling are both cartoon characters, so I’m pretty much safe. But not all of the anime shows in those days were lovey-dovey kissy-kissy escapades. Most of them were action-packed thrill rides like Dragon Ball Z and Gundam Wing. Just once I would have loved to see Heero Yuy (whilst piloting a giant robot named Wing Zero) battle it out with Vegeta in a knockdown, drag-’em-out blood brawl. Only in nerdy fan fiction would that ever happen. A few years after the emergence of TV-Y7 anime shows, we had something called Adult Swim (before it degenerated into mindless filth). Cowboy Bebop was the premiere anime to come from that programming block. Spike Spiegel was a calm and collected badass and Fay Valentine was a gorgeous bombshell: what else could you want from a show about intergalactic bounty hunting with a jazz soundtrack? Since Cowboy Bebop had tons of success on Adult Swim, we began seeing more anime shows in the TV-14 category such as Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Samurai Champloo, and Inuyasha. Rule number one: don’t watch Ghost in the Shell with a schizophrenic brain; you won’t understand a damn part of the plotline. Rule number two: combining a music genre with an action genre will always yield positive results; Samurai Champloo combined hip-hop with, you guessed it, samurai action. Rule number three: give the ASPCA a call every time Kigome uses the sit command on Inuyasha; because Inuyasha has dog ears, that counts as animal cruelty. I guess you want to know if all this gushing over anime is going to go anywhere. It is. I once read a quote on Writer’s Circle that advised aspiring authors to soak in as much media as they could so that they could have inspiration for their books. I spent my entire teenaged life doing just that with anime shows and videogames. While I don’t partake in either of those two mediums much anymore, I am getting things done with my writing in a way that wasn’t possible with limited skills in my teenaged years. Despite how grateful I am to Japanese anime for the inspiration it gave me, I’m still going to haunt Reina every chance I get with the “Yuki yuki suki” quote…whether she’s watching anime or a god-awful show on Disney or Nickelodeon.

　

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: What does Dan Schneider drive to work every day?

A: Toe truck.

"The Robotech Series" by Jack McKinney

If it hadn’t been for the 1990’s, Cartoon Network, and Toonami, I would have never known what Robotech was. From an anime standpoint, Robotech was about big ass robots beating the shit out of invading alien races. Who doesn’t love a story about giant-sized ass-beatings? But then you have the emotional aspect that goes along with just about any anime in existence. There were a lot of romances that were born from these alien wars. And thus we have the phrase, all’s fair in love and war. It was true for the first generation of Robotech where the Space Defense Fortress and her crew were battling the gigantic Zentradi. It continued to be true for the second generation where the Southern Cross were battling the Robotech Masters. And then when the Invid finally turned earth into a biological cum stain, we had Scott Bernard and his tiny group of rebels. Throughout the entire anime, we’ve had action, we’ve had romance, and we’ve had heartbreaking deaths. But the one thing I could never comprehend was why in the second generation story, the Southern Cross defense team were always beating up on Zor. Yes, he was a transplant from the Robotech Masters, but come on, let’s at least let the poor guy’s bruises heal before the next beating. To say Zor was an underdog would be an understatement. To say he was a punching bag would be closer to the truth. But before we get too far off track, I want to give you an answer to a question you probably have for me right now. You’re probably about to ask me, “Garrison, why is an anime from the 1980’s on your blog about fast-paced books?” Because thanks to two authors who wanted to be known collectively as Jack McKinney, the anime was adopted into novel format, which was perfect considering that I needed something to read during silent reading time in middle school and English class in my freshman year of high school. This stint in the Chehalis, Washington school system was LONG before I decided to become a full-time bookworm. I became one in 2009 and my career as an unofficial student bookworm started a decade before that. And I thought to myself, “Well, the classics put me to sleep quicker than a Mike Tyson punch to the jaw, so why not choose something that actually has a special place in my heart: the Robotech series!” And the great thing about this is that aside from some extra curse words and mild gore, the novels were extremely faithful to the anime. No matter what the medium, I will always root for Zor to one day kick his commanding officers in the testicles with a steel-toed boot. And for that, I thank you, Mr. Jack McKinney.

　

***MIXED-MARTIAL ARTS QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Bring it on, come on!”

-Steve Mazzagatti, MMA referee-