If you were to take a good look at James Frey’s body, you’d assume that he exercises a lot. According to his loudest critics, the only exercises he does are stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions. Imagine that: a former drug addict exaggerates details of his memoir. Who would’ve thunk it? Truth is, I could care less if “A Million Little Pieces” is a true story or not, because it’s still a beautifully depressing book with a quick writing style.
If you really want to use the “fake” argument against me, then I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell people who say that professional wrestling is fake. I’m going to say, “Hey, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are fake and I don’t hear you bitching about them. I don’t hear you complaining about The Flintstones not being a documentary.”
Whether this particular book is fact or fiction is irrelevant, because if you enjoy reading heartbreaking memoirs that are also triumphant, you’ll love “A Million Little Pieces”. It doesn’t even read like a typical memoir with linear progression. It actually reads like a novel with a beginning, middle, and end. It also has likable and three-dimensional characters. The writing style is present tense and takes a lot of liberties with the exclusion of quotation marks and other forms of punctuation, but that’s what makes it an exciting read in the first place.
If I have to keep on driving home the point that this is a dark and depressing memoir, then consider this paragraph to be the final nail in that coffin. James Frey starts the story with him waking up on an airplane with a broken nose and missing teeth, both of which were aggravated from his lifelong addictions to alcohol and drugs. He’s being taken to a clinic in Minnesota to be treated for these addictions, because if he uses again, he will die, no ifs ands or buts.
Life in a drug rehab center isn’t a whole lot of fun in case you couldn’t tell. There are people in constant pain from detoxing, there are people vomiting, there are people acting hostile and crazy, none of these things unlike what James Frey used to be before the story’s end. How does one combat all of these things for six weeks and come out smelling like roses? Mr. Frey doesn’t want to do it through God or a higher power of any kind. If you want to see how he triumphs through all the darkness and depression, you’ll have to read this book.
If you’re still complaining about how James Frey is a “phony” and a “fraud”, then you just go ahead and do all the drugs you want until you become an addict. We’ll see if your story is any different from Mr. Frey’s.
***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***
DEEKS: Let’s go for a beer.
GRANGER: To drink or to post on Face Book?
-NCIS: Los Angeles-
Currently sitting on my “to-read” shelf is “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey. I haven’t even started it yet and already it intrigues me, mainly because of the media shit-storm that Mr. Frey had to endure due to allegations of his nonfiction work being a sham. Whether or not this is true is irrelevant to me. You know why? Because I don’t give a shit if a story is real or true, as long as it’s entertaining. If you want to know how ridiculous this media circus is, then know this. Whenever any nonfiction book gets published, there are actually “detectives” out there who fact check every little part of the story. Right down to the last detail. If you had chicken fried steak for lunch one day and wrote down that you had a double bacon cheeseburger instead, prepare to be crucified. They can be that extreme sometimes. I think to myself, “Hey, Dick Tracy, shut the fuck up, will you? You’re full of more shit than the author you’re persecuting! Your breath is so bad, I don’t know if you need a breath mint or toilet paper!” Granted, the book is placed in nonfiction for a reason, but I’m not exactly getting my underwear in a knot over it and either should Dick Tracy. If on the other hand we’re talking about things like slander and libel, then I could actually see the other side of this argument a lot clearer. I will admit that most libel cases are complete bullshit since people will sue over someone expressing a negative opinion about them. But if it’s legitimate libel, then that means the negativity was played as a fact and the victim’s life could actually be ruined as a result of that. In which case, go ahead and sue the motherfucker for all he’s worth. But don’t give me this speech about how a nonfiction book has the potential to be a bunch of hallow lies. It’s like people who say they hate professional wrestling because it’s fake. You know what I say to those people? “Oh yeah? Well, Harry Potter’s fake and I don’t hear you crying about that!” Every time I have this conversation with my mother, she seems somewhat upset that Harry Potter is not real. That’s some serious devotion right there, though I don’t know if it’s aimed at Harry Potter being real or pro-wrestling being fake. The lesson of the day? Stop caring if a piece of literature really happened or not. It doesn’t fucking matter. If you read the book and liked it, isn’t that all that counts in the end? Now if it was a newspaper or a textbook that was considered fiction, then I’d actually have the energy to worry about it. But until then, just read your novel and enjoy it!
***COMMERCIAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“You can’t believe everything you read on the internet. Otherwise, I’d be a Nigerian millionaire by now.”
-Kevin Butler advertising the Playstation 3-
