***CLUE***
When older people tell you to put away your smart phone and
interact with your friends and family, listen to them. Yes, text messages and
Face Booking can be tons of fun, but none of it compares to the warmth you feel
when you’re having a good time in the real world. It sounds ironic considering
I’m typing this on my computer, but I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t just
have an awesome game night with my niece Reina, my brother James, and his
girlfriend Shara. We all got together one night and played the 2013 version of
Clue. Shara won the first game, I won the other two, but that’s not the
important part of this journal. The important part is, we’re closer than we’ve
ever been because of that night.
Playing the 2013 version of Clue is more than just moving
Sorry-like pegs around a square board while trying to solve a mystery. You can
actually communicate with the other players and joke about how ridiculous the
murder suspects look. Imagine that! But seriously, the murder suspects don’t
look like devious people. The worst crime they’ve ever committed was wearing
goofy hipster clothing, to which the fashion police would immediately
administer the death penalty. Colonel Mustard doesn’t look like a real army
soldier. He looks like he’s getting ready to record his debut auto-tuned album.
There are new rooms in the latest version of Clue. There’s
an office where all of the geeky millennial technology is kept. There’s a “game
room” where you can shoot pool and tea-bag your opponents on Halo. There’s also
a bathroom in case Mr. Green has to drop a nuclear deuce that’s the same color
as his name. Colonel Mustard has been in that bathroom so many times that it
became another crime scene; it smells like a slaughterhouse!
Professor Plum had been a naughty boy that evening, or at
least that was the general consensus among all of us. Maybe it was racial
profiling of some kind. Can you really file a prejudice claim if you’re a
purple people eater and a detective holds you in custody for more than six
hours? Hell, he would have been purple anyways after getting a confession
beaten out of him with the lead pipe during an hour of interrogation.
Yes, our three games of Clue felt more like standup comedy
than an actual board game. But none of those jokes compared to what Shara did
to make James crack up with ridiculous laughter. James was the one to make the
accusation. Because Reina was seated to his left, she was the first one who was
supposed to show him a piece of evidence. But instead, Shara showed Reina a piece
of evidence in a moment she liked to call a “brain fart”. James’ laughter was
so infectious that we were all cracking up like animals after that moment.
Shara even jokingly threw her pencil at James after making a “monkey face” at
him. Hehe!
I don’t care how many experience points you get from playing
Diablo III. I don’t care how many likes your videos get on Face Book. I don’t
even care how many short stories you’ve written. None of those technological
moments can compare to sitting around the living room and laughing like hyenas
throughout the whole night while making insensitive police jokes and joking
about how the murder suspects look like hipster millennials. That, my friends,
is why human interaction is more important than being imprisoned by technology.
Yes, we depend on technology to get shit done these days, I’m no different. But
no Skype chat or Face Book message can bring you the intimacy of human
interaction. That’s why I don’t own a smart phone to begin with. I just have a
generic cell phone that I only use when I need to bum a ride somewhere.
It won’t end with just Clue on a random Friday night. There’s
going to be Scrabble (where I once got 40 points off of the word “bitch”),
Dungeons & Dragons (which I’ve been itching to play for a while now), and
maybe some Hero Quest if I can find a set that doesn’t cost 400 bucks on
Amazon. I may be an introvert who craves privacy, but even I need my family and
friends to be with me from time to time. We’ve got ears, say cheers!
***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTESTS AND COMPANY***
It’s a new week at the WSS and the theme they’ve got going
on is “Sixth Sense”. I’m not sure if this synopsis fits the prompt, but I’m
going to try anyways. It’s called “The Aeromancer” and it goes like this:
CHARACTERS:
Ryan Elkins, Patrolling Cop
Elizabeth Wilson, Aeromancer
PROMPT CONFORMITY: Elizabeth ’s
sixth sense is aeromancy, the ability to control wind.
SYNOPSIS: A powerful windstorm has knocked out the power in
all of Dread City Elizabeth gives a speech about how technology
is ruining lives and short-circuiting the power would bring families back
together. A part of Ryan wants to do his job and arrest this woman while
another wants to agree with her.
***DARK FANTASY WARRIORS***
Moments before writing this journal, I drew a picture of
Mathias Jorgenson from “Forever Autumn” just like I promised I would. However,
I can’t use my scanner right now because I’m currently out of ink. Why I would
need ink in order to scan a picture to the computer, I’ll never know, but it is
what it is. I promise to upload Mathias’s drawing once I buy new ink cartridges
from Staples. Until then, know that the next Dark Fantasy Warrior to come off
the production line will be Viktor the Warlord from “Tiger Bullet Kick”. It’s
been a long time since I’ve drawn a mummy. I believe the exact amount of time
has been nine years. Holy shit!
***POISON TONGUE TALES***
I edited the hell out of the three M stories just like I
promised; now the next three to come will spell out the word “NOO!!” with the
first letters of their titles. I think it’s appropriate that they do. The
stories are “Nail Bomb”, “Oswald the Giant”, and “Ottie-Doo”. Two animal
stories and one that could never be accused of cuteness no matter how squeaky
the baby doll’s voice is. This is going to be fun.
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
“Never walk out of a movie theater with your girl and say,
“That Sigourney Weaver is a sexy woman!” Because later that night, you’re going
to be sitting at home eating meatloaf going, “Hon, this meatloaf is a little
dry.” She’ll say, “Well, why don’t you have Sigourney Weaver make you a
meatloaf then!””
-Jeff Foxworthy-
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