"She Is My Sin" by Nightwish

Valley of the Damned is currently being developed as the second act of my dark fantasy novel Fireball Nightmare. I’ve smothered the members of Nightwish with love like an obsessive fan boy. But this is 2014. All of this dark fantasy lust had to come from somewhere. That somewhere was 2002. It was summertime and my schizophrenia was just starting to develop. In order to keep my creative soul alive underneath the rubble caused by head voices, I had two things to keep me company: Valley of the Damned in RPG form and “She Is My Sin”, my very first Nightwish song.

The year 2002 was one where I was still an active patriot at Play By Web dot com, the message board RPG website I spoke of several posts earlier. During those days, I was developing my creativity by inventing new role-playing game systems. They were simple, yet effective. I had a dystopian war RPG called Cutthroat, a fantasy-western game called Lost in a Lost World, and then there was my pride and joy, the apocalyptic dark fantasy RPG known as Valley of the Damned.

The premise of the latter was basic at best: the devil turned the world into a fiery hellhole and instead of working together to beautify the earth, the citizens would rather exploit each other. Ronald Reagan always said it would take an alien invasion for the world to get along. But what about a diabolical invasion?

My older brother James introduced me to Nightwish’s “She Is My Sin” around the time I was developing Valley of the Damned. It was a heavy metal song with an opera chick singing, just like any other Nightwish song. A dark fantasy RPG and a heavy metal opera song: the marriage of these two mystic forces was too obvious to ignore.

I could see it all now: a warrior covered in a black cloak and hood wielding a fiery sword enters the battlefield with “She Is My Sin” playing in the background. Several monsters from vampires to succubae to the ugliest of orcs surround this warrior with the intent to devour him. So what does the mysterious warrior do? With a few spins of his fiery blade, he turns the battlefield into the same hell the devil has created from the entire world. The monsters lay bloody, broken, and bruised while the cloaked warrior continues his quest. He still hears Tarja’s voice singing to him, which probably sounded nicer than my schizophrenic voices sounded to me.

Valley of the Damned and Nightwish: a match made in heaven. But you have to remember that this was 2002 and I was still going to high school, which means there were several threats to my psychological health, all of which derailed my zeal for a Valley of the Damned movie idea. Granted, I wasn’t going to WF West anymore.

Instead I went to Central Kitsap High School, which was a better school, but not a great school. How great could they be if they hire a senior social studies teacher with a mean streak a mile wide? Where’s the greatness in having to deal with a bully who actually knows how to fight? As for the friends I’ve made, what’s so great about being too shy to look them up after graduation, let alone ask one of them to the prom? What about home life? Is there any joy in having a step-father who was verbally abusive and physically imposing?

While these things alone didn’t cause my schizophrenia, they made it worse. When my schizophrenia was at its worst, I had so much trouble concentrating I swore I was getting stupider with the passing days. I didn’t want to be stupid anymore. I didn’t sign up for this. I didn’t sign up to be so mentally crippled that I completely forgot about Valley of the Damned and Nightwish. That’s right. It just fucking slipped my mind.

But that was 2002 through 2005. Since then, my former step-dad Art has moved out of the house and a new and improved step-dad named Dale entered my life. Yes, folks, my mom got a HUGE upgrade. Over the years, my mental health has gotten better dramatically. I rediscovered Nightwish in 2006 and fell in love with Tarja Turunen all over again, both musically and romantically (don’t tell her husband I said that).

As for Valley of the Damned, while I don’t role-play much anymore, I do a lot of creative writing in its place. Fireball Nightmare is the new home for Valley of the Damned. So far, so good. It took a long time for everything to click back into place, but it’s all there once again. It’s like a psychological family reunion.

And to think, it all started with “She Is My Sin” from the Wishmaster album. Yes, Tarja, you have been my sin for over a decade now. Anette and Floor, while the two of you haven’t been in my life for nearly as long, you ladies are my sin as well. Nightwish and I will never be separated or divorced ever again. They will continue to excite my imagination and I will continue to recommend them to any of my metal-loving friends.

　

***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“My bath toys were a radio and a toaster.”

-Joan Rivers (rest in peace)-