Creeps

As we’ve seen with Dr. Frankenstein and Hannibal Lector, it doesn’t take much of an imagination for a character to be creepy. The question then becomes how creepy can the character be and will he be remembered for his disgusting sins? Here are some examples of what I’m talking about. Starting with…

Creepy is sticking your hand down a child’s pants. Ultra-creepy is whispering a passage of “50 Shades of Grey” while you’re doing it.

Creepy is staring at a skirt-wearing girl for thirty minutes. Ultra-creepy is getting a hard-on in leather underwear while doing it.

Creepy is texting your girlfriend about how you want to fuck her in the ass. Ultra-creepy is being hidden in her closet while doing it.

Creepy is slashing somebody’s arm with a razor. Ultra-creepy is drinking the blood with a shot of Jack Daniels.

Creepy is jacking off to a picture of livestock. Ultra-creepy is jacking off while actually being in the presence of livestock…and the farmer’s daughter.

Creepy is using a hand puppet to perform oral sex on your girlfriend. Ultra-creepy is giving her multiple orgasms in the process.

Creepy is posting a picture of your penis on Deviant Art. Ultra-creepy is photoshopping Homer Simpson giving you oral sex on that same picture.

Creepy is drawing a picture of Bugs Bunny wearing a strap-on. Ultra-creepy is having Bugs Bunny in that same drawing mention his audience members by name.

Creepy is licking a Spongebob Squarepants poster. Ultra-creepy is getting a premature orgasm while doing it.

Are you scared? Are you really fucking scared now? You shouldn’t be, because you’re on Scare Tactics with Tracy Morgan!

　

***DOMESTIC DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

ME: Aww! The seven dwarves are so cute! I want to snuggle with them!

SUSAN: You want to snuggle with a bunch of old midget men?!