Throughout my whole life, I’ve seen three different examples of what a “Sandman” is supposed to be. First, there was the version we all heard as kids: that creepy dude that sprinkles dust in your eyes so that you’ll fall asleep faster. What he does to you afterwards is anybody’s guess. If you’re a wrestling fan, particularly hardcore wrestling, then The Sandman has a much different meaning to you. He was an antisocial beer drinker who liked to throw his opponents into barbed wire and knock them out with Singapore cane shots to the skull. Again, what this version of The Sandman did to his opponents after they were knocked unconscious, well, that’s up for debate. And then you have a version of The Sandman that comes from the works of Neil Gaiman. I had no idea Neil Gaiman even existed until I got a Sandman graphic novel for my 28th birthday. The point was further emphasized when I saw Mr. Gaiman on an episode of The Simpsons that made fun of team writing. Speaking of team writing, I’d like to do a blog entry about that someday. Sounds like fun. But you know what? We still have to do something with this Sandman topic. What we have here are three different examples of what a Sandman is supposed to be. That leads me to believe that you can slap the name Sandman on pretty much any character you’ve got and it’ll sell like hotcakes. For instance, if you were writing the script for a manga series about giant robots, you could call the main giant robot The Sandman and he’ll be more badass for it. Maybe he can carry a fiery scythe and a chain gun while having a Mary Jane cigarette between its teeth. Or maybe you’re working on a horror novel and The Sandman can be a creepy ghost that sneaks into the bedrooms of little boys and girls at night. What he does with them is all up to your sick and sadistic imagination, you fucking freak. What if you’re writing a Dungeons & Dragons-style adventure novel and The Sandman was a seven-foot tall black knight with a battleaxe as big as his torso? It could very well happen. Being called a “Sandman” is a very good thing. Take advantage of the moniker as much as you can. Hell, I can be a Sandman myself because I’m probably putting you all to sleep with my mindless banter. If that’s the case, grab a blanket and put on some new age tunes, because it’s going to be a long night!
***JOKE OF THE DAY***
Q: What do horror movie monsters and trick-or-treaters have in common?
A: They like to eat airheads.
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