Judging Books

This past Father’s Day, I went down to Purdy to visit my dad like all good sons do on that particular day. Midway through the visit, he and my brother James wanted to know why I would call a book about pro-wrestling “Hardcore Hate”. Their main justification for disagreeing with the title was that it sounded too much like something a neo-Nazi would buy (probably because the word “hate” is closely related to racism rather than simply not liking your opponent). Of course, James’ alternative title “Barbarian and Doctor” was even worse since he obviously wasn’t even trying. But this conversation brought up a topic that I’m discussing tonight: judging a book by it’s cover or title. You hear people say all the time “Don’t judge a book by its cover”. While that may be an admirable slogan, people do it all the time with books while being encouraged not to do it with people. If you see an overweight teenaged girl walking down the street, don’t judge her body, because she might turn out to be a friendly person. But if you see a book that’s titled “The Dragon Prince” and the cover design shows a gun being pointed at a tiny kitten, that’s when you can start to worry. Come to think of it, there is a book cover that shows a gun being leveled a cute, cuddly kitty. It’s called “How Not to Write a Novel” and that image is supposed to illustrate a point: disgusting promotional tactics will get your manuscript shoved in the rejection box. It all goes back to a point I once made about hooking the reader in rather than making him wait for the hot action on a platter. Let’s take the book “The Sisters Brothers” for instance. For the book cover, somebody might see a moonlit background behind two sinister-looking people. Or if you look closely enough, you’ll see a skull with two hideous eye sockets. That’s fucking creative, people! I don’t know how good the book actually is (I haven‘t read it before), but with a clever cover like that, it’s a good start. You need another example? How about “Quiet” by Susan Cain? It’s a simple gray cover with minimal design, but it’s exactly what the reader wants to see. The book is about introversion and in order to achieve introversion, you need a quiet environment. A cloudy day with low barometric pressure is the perfect catalyst for a brief nap, and thus you have your quiet situation. If you followed that logic successfully, you’ll understand why Susan Cain’s simple book design is actually the best one for drawing readers in. Should we judge a book by its cover? Maybe, maybe not. But if I see a book on Amazon called “The Desert Maiden” and it shows a picture of feet being chopped off with a hacksaw, I’m skipping over it.

　

***TELEVISION DIALOGUE OF THE DAY***

OLD MAN: Which candy bar has the commercial with swirling chocolate?

GEORGE COSTANZA: They all have swirling chocolate.

OLD MAN: Not Skittles.

-Seinfeld-