"The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" by Anne Rice

If you’re looking for a sweet, gentle romance novel that will win your heart and make you shed tears of joy, this isn’t the book for you. If, on the other hand, you want a permanent hard-on and a reason to flush all of your Viagra down the toilet, Anne Rice is the author you want to turn to. She wrote a book back in the early 80’s called “The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty”, which takes a normally innocent fairy tell and turns it into the sexiest piece of literature you’ll ever read. It matters not what your gender or preference is, because at the beginning of the book, Anne Rice specifically says that this novel is “For the enjoyment of men and women.” Yeah, no kidding. This book has everything you could ever want in a sexual fantasy: hardcore bondage, man-on-woman intercourse, woman-on-woman action, and from time to time, man-on-man action. As I’ve said before, it doesn’t matter what your sexual preferences are, because sooner or later, no matter who’s getting it where, you’re going to have some serious libido afterwards. Do you all remember that episode of Family Guy where Glenn Quagmire discovers internet porn and suddenly his right arm is more muscular and toned than the left arm? That’s going to be you by the time you complete the first chapter. Maybe after the first page. But as sexy as this book is, there are some points in it that are completely mind boggling. Having sex slaves run around a track and jump through hoops like circus lions? That’s a little bit bizarre even for the bondage genre. All in all, I can’t complain, because those bizarre moments are very few and far between. There are far more hot and sexy moments than there are weird and awkward moments. The one moment that’s my personal favorite is when Prince Alexi has sex with The Queen for the first time. And then afterwards, she grabs various body parts of his and claims that they are hers. And when I say body parts, I’m obviously not doing a good job of being subtle. In short, if you want something that’ll make a Playboy magazine seem about as fun as The Wall Street Journal, buy this book. I will admit, though, that it’s not the quickest read you’ll ever have. But then again, with sweet action like this, it doesn’t have to be. You’re not just going to be hooked all the way through this book, you’re going to be chained and gagged to it as well.

　

***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“She is dangerous, she is dangerous, I’m sure. And she’s all dressed up and knocking at my door. She is dangerous, she is dangerous, I know. But she’s got my heart and she’s never letting go.”

-James Blunt singing “Dangerous”-