***I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS WRONG***
In addition to being a cardboard sign in Seether’s music
video for “Fine Again”, you can also say the title of this journal whenever you
create a piece of art that was unintentionally offensive. I can’t stress the
word unintentionally enough. Sometimes all you want is to create a loving
romance between two people and their relationship becomes hypersexual.
Sometimes you want to show off the fighting abilities of a barbarian tribe from
another culture, but they end up looking like stereotypes. Surely, you weren’t
trying to be offensive, but that’s how it came across anyways, through no fault
of your own. All together now…
I didn’t know it was wrong!
Yes, this is a reasonable defense against charges of
unintentional bigotry, but there will always be that one smart ass who smashes
you over the head with a hardcover book and then says…
Sorry, I didn’t know it was wrong!
You’re damn right it’s wrong! That’s assault, you moron! It
carries a prison term of at least seven years! How about we save the phrase for
people who actually need it? Wes Anderson, the writer and director of Isle of
Dogs, could easily use this phrase and get away with it. As a white guy from Texas
I didn’t know it was wrong!
I wish I knew this phrase when I was writing offensive shit
back in the day. It could have helped me when I wrote a pornographic parody of
“Stole” by Kelly Rowland. It could have helped me when I was swashbuckling with
teenagers after they read “Class of ‘13”. It might have even helped me when I
was writing the super-violent Zeromancer for my second multi-genre writing
class in college. None of these scenarios would have been a cheap escape if I
used that phrase, because I legitimately didn’t know they were offensive reads.
I don’t know if I chalk it all up to being young and immature, growing up in
Chehalis, watching TV-MA rated shows and not processing them correctly, but say
it with me…
I didn’t know it was wrong!
You know what else I didn’t know was wrong? Incorporating a
trope called the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. It’s a literary pejorative for any
supporting female character whose main role in the story is to boost the
self-esteem of the brooding male protagonist. Adrienne Simpson from “Silent
Warrior” reeks of this trope, and in some ways, Tarja Rikkinen from my current
WIP “Beautiful Monster” qualifies too. It was never my intention to make them
this way, but you have to understand…
I didn’t know it was wrong!
I think I’ve given you guys enough examples that you’re
adequately educated. Luckily, there is help for anybody who needs it. When
you’ve finished writing your manuscript, you can send it to somebody called a
“sensitivity editor”. This person will comb through your work and make sure
nothing sticks out when it comes to potential offensiveness. Because they’re
sensitivity editors and get this kind of work all the time, you can bet your
ass that they won’t judge you even if your manuscript is glowing like a nuclear
rod with offensive material. I didn’t even know these people existed until I
started watching Jenna Moreci’s You Tube videos. Perhaps I should hire the
services of one when I’m ready to get cracking on editing Silent Warrior. Hell,
there’s probably more wrong with it than I thought and that extends beyond
Adrienne Simpson being a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
If you think for some reason I’m just bending to the will of
the Social Justice Warriors and ignoring my own individuality, you’re wrong.
There used to be a time in my life when being offensive was my bread and
butter. I was young, immature, and had the sense of humor of an alt-righter
despite being a hard leftist. Well, some things have to change because a bigot
is not who I am nor would I be proud of being one. I want to represent the
positive side of humanity, not the worst. I want to be on the right side of
history and be a good role model for readers who look up to me. If that makes
me an SJW, then fine, I’m an SJW. Fuck it, I don’t care. In fact, you can go ahead
and call me the Social Justice Barbarian if you want. Barbarians appeal to me
more than regular warriors since the former has the ability to rage out of
control at a moment’s notice. Plus, I get to eat raw meat, howl at the moon,
and swing a bloody battleaxe. How much fun is that?!
Sorry, guys! I didn’t know it was wrong! I’m Garrison Kelly!
Even when you feel like dying, keep climbing the mountain!
***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER***
In the interest of bouncing back and forth between the past
and present of this novel, chapter four will feature a look into Windham
Xavier’s captivity, where he’s strapped naked to a table and felt up by Shelly
and Torger. Don’t worry, you won’t have to go all the way to Wattpad to read
this, because no sex will take place (yet). Lord knows Deviant Art has enough
nudity as it is, so a chapter of Beautiful Monster with a naked male elf won’t
hurt the status quo too much. Look forward to it! And before you ask, no, I’m
not gay and even if I was it wouldn’t be the reason why I write about naked
male elves. Grow up!
***LYRICS OF THE DAY***
“The world is precious, a gift to you and me. I suggest we
treat her right, with love and dignity. Everybody’s looking for some peace of
mind. If you seek the truth, then you will surely find. Everybody wants to have
global peace, whilst the press of a button can shake the world to its knees.
Some say might is right. I beg to disagree. I say we all unite and redirect our
destiny. Everybody’s looking for a quick solution. Our lungs are choking from
breathing in air pollution. I say put down the guns and stop the revolution. I
say it’s time to make a restitution. Can you hear what I’m saying? There’s so
much starvation, so much untruth, so much prejudice, so much liquidation. Oh,
how long? How long?”
-Toto singing “Can You Hear What I’m Saying?”-
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