Stalking Is Not the Answer

I haven’t watched WWE since November of 2018, when they put on that horrible episode of Monday Night Raw where Drake Maverick peed on Bobby Roode’s robe. But I still like to stay in the loop via podcasts and You Tube channels. I sincerely hope Sonya Deville’s story gets the appropriate amount of coverage outside of the wrestling bubble. A few weeks ago, a disgusting bastard by the name of Phillip Thomas attempted to kidnap Sonya in her Lutz, Florida home. For years he had sent her creepy messages on social media that were of the lovey-dovey variety mixed with suicidal threats and mentions of wanting to murder her family. So what does he do to satisfy his romantic urges? In addition to sending the freaky messages, he showed up to her house one night carrying a knife, pepper spray, duct tape, zip ties, and god knows what else. He planned on kidnapping Sonya Deville, but she got the hell out of there and the police promptly arrested Phillip Thomas with a judge denying him bail.

Now…there are many ways in which you can show your appreciation for your favorite celebrities. Stalking and attempting to kidnap them is not one of them! Forgetting the fact that Sonya Deville is openly lesbian and therefore isn’t interested in men anyways, Phillip Thomas had no fucking chance with her by virtue of his creepy online behavior. He has even less of a chance with her now that he attempted to kidnap her. Haven’t you learned anything from being sickened while watching 365 Days? That Stockholm Syndrome fantasy shit doesn’t work! When Phillip Thomas showed up at Sonya Deville’s home with weapons and bondage equipment, she didn’t have stars in her eyes and a smile on her face. She was fucking terrified, as well she should be!

Having romantic feelings for a celebrity is nothing new to the world. It’s a relationship that could never work due to the imbalance of power, but we like to have fantasies anyways, because these fantasies make our hearts flutter and they give us extra pep in our step. We form parasocial relationships with the celebrities we love. Maybe the celebrity gives us roses. Maybe they squeeze our shoulders. Maybe they let us cradle our heads in their laps while they stroke our hair. But once the fantasy wears off, you begin to realize the impossibility of the fantasy and it depresses the shit out of you. You invested so much time and energy into this fantasy that when the rug gets pulled out from underneath, you’ve got nothing left but sadness. If you feel like your celebrity crushes are interfering with your wellbeing, talk to somebody. Anybody. See a counselor. Confide in family and friends.

This phenomenon was especially true for me when I studied at Western Washington University from 2007 to 2009. I was a socially awkward dweeb who had very little in the way of human interaction. So what did I do? I formed a parasocial relationship with Tarja Turunen, the former lead singer of Nightwish. Her lovely raven hair, her milky white skin, her cherry red lips, and that singing voice of an angel, oh my god, she was so beautiful to me. My heart had the singing voice of an angel every time I laid eyes on her. But when I cycled through my head all the loving ways we could interact, I quickly realized that I was still alone at WWU despite having a strong imagination. I had nothing but my fantasies. Fantasies are great, but they’re not tangible and don’t amount to anything in real life. But did I threaten to kidnap Tarja Turunen? Did I threaten to kill her husband Marcelo Cabuli? Did I show up to her home in Finland with duct tape and a hunting knife? Fuck no! That would be horrifying! If you claim to love someone as much as you do, you don’t show your love by threatening to slash them if they don’t have sex with you. That’s not love. That’s violence. In a real relationship, that’s domestic abuse and it would be grounds for not only divorce, but prison time.

Sonya Deville is a beautiful woman. She’s a brilliant character on WWE television. She’s got mixed-martial arts skills for days that will remind the audience of Wonder Woman. You want to know what she isn’t? Yours to kidnap and have sex with! You as a fan are not owed anything! You’re not owed sex and romance! If you want those things, you have to earn them by being sweet and empathetic and even then if the woman says no, you ought to listen. Sonya Deville is not going to say yes to someone who sends her disgusting messages on Twitter threatening to hurt her if she doesn’t give into him. I thought this point was made clear when pretty much every news outlet on the planet dissected Incel culture with a scalpel. We’re supposed to be past this shit. But people like Phillip Thomas didn’t get the message. Apparently, neither did the other Twitter trolls who sent Sonya Deville messages like, “I’m going to finish what Phillip started” and “My knife is bigger than Phillip’s.” How romantic! What a bunch of charming motherfuckers! Breakfast, meet floor!

Back at Summer Slam, Sonya Deville was written off of WWE television when she lost a No Disqualification Loser Leaves Town match to longtime rival Mandy Rose. She didn’t actually lose her job. It’s just a storyline excuse for her to sort things out legally and emotionally before getting back in the ring. She’ll be back one day. I’d like to think she’ll be back stronger than ever, but that’s not how psychological trauma works. That shit eats away at you like a cancer. There are triggers that will set you off. There are nightmares. There are moments where you’ll lose focus of what you’re doing, which isn’t an ideal scenario in a profession where you slam people on their backs for a living. Thanks a lot, Phillip Thomas. You traumatized Sonya Deville for life, all because you wanted a romance that never could have happened, lesbian status or not. That’s not love. That’s psychosis. Get some fucking help!

Being a celebrity of any kind, whether you’re an attractive woman or otherwise, will open up the floodgates for stalking and harassment. This shit has been going on long before the internet was a thing. So what should you do if you find yourself in this situation? Do you hire security guards? Do you buy a weapon? Do you move to another home? Do you stay off of social media? Do you get a restraining order? There’s no one-size-fits-all solution to this problem. Sometimes it’s multiple things at once, which is something the celebrity in question will consider as anxiety floods their minds with all the possibilities of scenarios. Hell, you don’t have to be a celebrity to experience stalking. The reason for stalking doesn’t even have to be romantic or sexual. There are some sick pieces of shit out there and the sooner they’re locked up, the better off we’ll all be. If you find yourself obsessing over someone, don’t become the next Phillip Thomas. Get help. Reach out to someone you trust. That’s my public service announcement for the day. Stalking is not the answer. It never is.

WWE Tough Enough

***BEFORE I BEGIN***

From now on, every piece of writing I do, whether it’s a short story, novel chapter, review, or blog entry, will be posted on ALL of my social media accounts, not just certain ones. A year ago, I made the decision to post my Garrison’s Library entries on Deviant Art. Why isn’t all of my writing on all of my accounts? That’s a lot of untapped potential that’s going to waste. This journal entry would normally be meant for Deviant Art, but why stop there? Enjoy!

　

***WWE TOUGH ENOUGH***

Every once and a while, my step-dad Dale will call upstairs to my room and tell me that WWE Tough Enough is on TV. Yes, it’s a WWE production and as everyone here knows, I can’t shut up about wrestling. But if there’s one show I try to avoid every time it comes on, it’s Tough Enough. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s a reality TV competition where a bunch of rookies learn how to wrestle. Here’s why it’s called Tough Enough: because the trainers and judges have a boot camp mentality where screaming and insulting the competitors will eventually motivate them to do the right things in the ring.

It may be that there’s some truth in harsh motivation being good for an athlete or a combatant. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy watching it. In fact, watching the upper echelon scream their heads off at those below makes me feel uncomfortable. It reminds me of other relationships in life where there’s a ridiculous imbalance of power: bank robbers and hostages, rapists and women, drunken step-dads and small children, conformist teachers and imaginative students, etc.

Just one time during a boot camp scenario like this would I like to see some insubordination from the bottom tier. Maybe one of the competitors will get fed up with the trainers’ shit and throw a metal dumbbell at one of them. Maybe Paige (one of the judges) will tell someone to get off the stage and that someone will tell her to remove the A and E from her name. Maybe Daniel Bryan (another judge) will tell someone they have no charisma and that person will pull a pair of clippers out of his gym bag and shave Daniel’s beard off.

I’m sure insubordination has happened before on an episode of Tough Enough, but I wouldn’t know, because it’s a rare occurrence. Either the competitors are too scared of losing their spots or they have too much respect for authority. As long as there’s an overwhelming imbalance of power, it will keep me from watching Tough Enough or any other show with screaming authority figures. That being said, Full Metal Jacket makes me want to vomit.

You’ve gotten this far in my journal and have also read the entirety of Occupy Wrestling, my latest self-published novel. You probably feel like calling me out on a hypocrisy since at the end of Occupy Wrestling, Debra flies to Japan to train in a wrestling dojo where there’s absolutely no shortage of harsh motivation. The only reason I put that in the story is because I needed a believable reason for her to suddenly be good at fighting. I’ll tell you right now that just because it happens in my stories, I in no way endorse nor condone drill sergeant motivation. Maybe that’s because I myself would crack easily under pressure in such a situation because of my schizophrenia and autism. Harsh motivation may work for a lot of people, but that doesn’t mean I have to endorse it.

In short, if you’ve heard me talk about WWE and were wondering if I watch Tough Enough every week, the answer is no. It makes me feel vicariously bad for the competitors, especially since it’s unscripted. I also won’t be watching Summer Slam this year for two reasons. One, I’ve cancelled my subscription to the WWE Network due to it crapping out every time I want to watch a pay-per-view. And two, on that same day, I’m going to see Slipknot, Three Days Grace, Lamb of God, and a bunch of other metal bands perform at the White River Amphitheater. If the WWE wants me to watch their major shows, then I guess I’ll order a PPV through my cable provider and pay $50 for it. Granted, John Layfield will call me an idiot for doing so, but that just magnifies his status as an asshole commentator.

We’ve got ears, say cheers!

　

***WRESTLING JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: Who is John Layfield’s favorite rapper?
A: Maggle-More.

WWE Summer Slam: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

TITLE: WWE Summer Slam: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

YEAR: 2014

GENRE: Professional Wrestling Match

RATING: TV-PG for moderate violence and language

GRADE: Pass

In order to appreciate the sheer brutality of this main event match for John Cena’s WWE World Heavyweight Championship, it’s important to understand the back story of both competitors, the champion John Cena and the challenger Brock Lesnar.

John Cena started his career in the WWE in 2002, won his first world championship in 2005, and ever since then has become the cornerstone of WWE as well as a 15-time world champion. In other words, he’s not just some schmuck from the gym. Even the heel announcers are calling John Cena a future Hall of Famer. He gave 12 years of his life to the wrestling business and has made epic memories throughout his entire career.

Brock Lesnar is an entirely different animal. He hates the wrestling business and hates people even more. He’s a mercenary with a lust for money and inflicting pain on others. He too started in the WWE in 2002, but after winning multiple world titles left in 2004 to pursue other athletic careers. His most noteworthy achievement outside of WWE is being a former UFC Heavyweight Champion with victories over Shane Carwin, Randy Couture, and Frank Mir. He returned to WWE in 2012 on a part-time basis and did the impossible: he defeated The Undertaker at Wrestlemania 30 and handed him his first defeat at that pay-per-view.

The hype surrounding this upcoming Summer Slam main event was epic. It was a battle everybody wanted to see. And when it was all said and done, Brock Lesnar shocked the world yet again. This wasn’t just a professional wrestling match. This was something John Cena would later call a “100% ass-kicking” at the hands of Brock Lesnar. The match was only 30 seconds old and already Lesnar hit Cena with his finishing move: a fireman’s carry face buster called the F5. But Lesnar was far from finished.

Using his MMA background, he delivered hard knees, wrecking ball fists, and battleaxe elbows to John Cena, rendering him so helpless that the offence he could muster was extremely minimal. On top of those hard strikes, Brock Lesnar delivered 16 German suplexes to his opponent and left him gasping for air and struggling for clear vision.

Did I mention already that John Cena is a 15-time world champion and a future Hall of Famer? Okay, I was just making sure. It would seem unrealistic that a man with John Cena’s illustrious credentials would suffer a beating as torturous as that and not have anything left to give of his own. But that’s the way it happened and Brock Lesnar won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in convincing fashion, as Michael Cole put it.

The hype leading up to this match along with the sheer brutality of Lesnar’s offence was enough to convince Dave Meltzer, a well-respected wrestling historian, to give the performance 4.25 stars out of 5. I’m not speaking for Mr. Meltzer, but I’m guessing the reason it didn’t get the full five was because John Cena took a long time to recover from each suplex and strike and it slowed the match down considerably.

I’m normally all about fast-paced matches, but in the case of Lesnar vs. Cena, I can make an exception. This match was maximum brutality and resulted in a huge push for Brock Lesnar. If somebody were to defeat him for the WWE World Title, it would be an admirable and heroic feat. You might have to search far and wide for a wrestler who’s willing to do that, but he’s there, trust me.

As for John Cena, his future was being questioned after taking such a devastating beating. Triple H, the man in charge at the time, considered not giving him his obligatory rematch. A panel of Hall of Famers, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and Hulk Hogan, actually got together to debate whether John Cena would be ready for another rematch or if he should just retire since Lesnar’s unstoppable.

If John Cena ever did get another chance at the title, he would have a huge mountain to climb. If he climbed that mountain, it would give him the biggest boost in his career and would pretty much seal the deal for a Hall of Fame induction.

To prove he was ready, Cena did the exact same thing to Bray Wyatt during an episode of Raw that Brock Lesnar did to Cena at Summer Slam: delivered a 100% ass-kicking. Bray Wyatt’s a 300-lb wrecking ball, not some loser off the streets, so giving him a 100% beating is a heroic feat in and of itself.

Everything about this Summer Slam match from the in-ring action to the hype to the aftermath was well-executed on the part of WWE. Some would question their decision to make Brock Lesnar the champion since he’s on a part-time schedule and won’t defend it that often. I don’t question it, because main event pay-per-view matches in the WWE are still top quality without Lesnar’s presence. Isn’t that right, Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins?