Staying In Bed

To hell with being dutiful

Staying in bed is beautiful

A purring kitty on my chest

He agrees that it’s time to rest

Piano music calms me down

Hypnotized by the gentle sound

Cold breeze blowing outside

Under the blankets is where I hide

Back to work on another day

Couldn’t motivate myself anyway

Stare at the ceiling, think about life

Share my bed with an imaginary wife

Watch movies playing in my head

They don’t make a lick of sense

Heater blasting on a winter night

Makes resisting sleep an uphill fight

But I can’t stay here forever and ever

Despite the drop in barometric pressure

Another day waits on the other side

That way you can’t say I never tried

Still walking around like the undead

Not a whole lot going on in my head

A few more hours until it gets dark

Until rainwater floods the public park

Until the moon shines down upon us all

Until face down on the bed is where I fall

Disconnect my telephone line

Tomorrow everything will be just fine

Like it is almost every damn day

No sense in asking me if I’m okay

A Wonderful Day to Take a Nap

CHORUS

It’s a wonderful day to take a nap

With a cute little kitty on your lap

A wonderful day to take a snooze

Dream away your moodiest blues

VERSE 1

The rain is pouring, the puppy is snoring

Everything else is delightfully boring

Lullaby music is playing so softly

Sleep like you’re in the arms of your mommy

Under the blanket so cuddly and warm

Keeping you safe from the rainiest storm

Counting the sheep as you fall asleep

Snuggling with them feels so sweet

EXTENDED CHORUS

It’s a wonderful day to take a nap

With a cute little kitty on your lap

A wonderful day to take a snooze

Dream away your moodiest blues

A wonderful day to rest your bones

Turn off the TV, unplug your phone

A wonderful day to have a dream

Until the sun shines its bright beams

VERSE 2

Pour yourself a glass of warm milk

Wrap yourself in a blanket of silk

Snuggle with puppies and kitties

Whether they’re big or just itty-bitty

When you snooze, nobody will lose

Stay in your bed as long as you choose

Listen to raindrops on your window

Listen to the mighty wind blow

EXTENDED CHORUS 2

It’s a wonderful day to take a nap

The weather outside wills start to sap

A wonderful day to take a snooze

Until the sunshine brings colorful hues

A wonderful day to rest your head

In the softest and warmest of beds

A wonderful day to snore and drool

Until your pillow becomes a pool

VERSE 3

Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop

The wind and rain won’t stop

Come inside for a place to hide

Under the covers, you sweetie pie

We’re one big cuddly family

Of animals and sweet little peas

It’s a wonderful day to nod off

In the beddy-bye ever so soft

"The Room of Ancillary Dreams" by Harold Budd

When you play “The Room of Ancillary Dreams” by Harold Budd on your MP3 player, stereo, computer, or whatever the case may be, one of two things will happen to you. If you’re in bed trying to relax, not only will you enter the dream world, but you’ll be a gatecrasher for your own subconscious. If you’re trying to write a piece of literature on your computer, you will be free of distractions while having your musical needs satisfied to the fullest extent. I use this ambient piece of music for both purposes.

All you need in order to reproduce it is a piano and a wah-wah pedal. It’s a slow-paced song, so it’s easy for anybody to play regardless of their skill level. If you’re a piano player and you need to put on a concert for your audience, choose this song. Your audience will be knocked out within the first few seconds and you can get out early to catch a show of your own. Hell, they might even need blankets and pillows just to get through the entire show. The song is that relaxing.

I dare you all to go to You Tube right now and look up “The Room of Ancillary Dreams” right now. If you’re going to do it, make sure there’s a buckwheat pillow resting on your computer desk. Don’t worry about snoring too loudly, because it’s just another part of the restful ambience. There’s a good chance you sound like a cat purring when you snore. If you sound like a helicopter, though, that’s not a problem either.

Why exactly am I going to great lengths to sell you this wonderful piece of music? Because as an avid listener, it’s my obligation to do so. Realistically though, this is a song I always keep on my MP3 player in case I go for a long road trip or airline flight. My mom is on the verge of retiring and when she does, the vacations will come more often.

Riding in the car or on an airplane isn’t the most fun experience you’re going to have. If you’re on a six-hour flight, your ass will get sore and you will get cranky. But if you have a neck pillow and a copy of “The Room of Ancillary Dreams”, your long journey will seem like it went by in only a few seconds.

It used to be that I always requested sleeping pills during long trips. I may not need them in the first place now that I’ve discovered this blissful combination. If you’re going to a writer’s retreat in Tuscany or a reader’s conference in the Bahamas, do you really want to be awake for the entire thing? Absolutely not. Even if there was a terrorist takeover of your flight, being asleep is the best way to survive.

Grab your pillow and get some Z’s, people, because with this song in your headphones, even the UFC can’t rack up that many knockouts.

　

***JOKE OF THE DAY***

Q: What do Nintendo characters use to get high?

A: Donkey Bong.