Fuck Your Truck

I’ve got all of my tools on the shelf

I’m doing all of this shit for myself

Going to work on your oversized truck

Is this illegal? Who gives a flying fuck?

Splash paint on your precious machine

Take my keys and write something mean

Smash the windows with a baseball bat

Stab your tires until they’re fucking flat

Rip off your Trump-supporting stickers

Is this enough to make you feel triggered?

Piss in your gas tank, fill it to the top

Cover your seats with sewage and slop

Punch out your side-view mirrors

In case the message doesn’t get clearer

Flip the heavy motherfucker on its side

There goes your final symbol of pride

I can hear your CD’s crunch and crack

Every Kyle anthem and bonus track

Come see the work of art I created

This is what happens when you’re hated

Tears in your eyes, my ultimate prize

Watching you cry in front of your guys

You can throw a punch or grab your gun

You’re still the biggest pussy under the sun

All the macho madness was an act

All the bad karma finally came back

The fights you’ve started, slurs you’ve said

Other people’s girlfriends in your bed

Showing your ass and flashing your dick

Telling ordinary women to suck your prick

Catcalling out on the streets at night

Destroying your truck only felt right

You didn’t need a vehicle any damn way

You’d drunk drive that shit into the bay

Be thankful for what I’ve done, my man

Go back inside and be Trapt’s favorite Stan

Watching Paint Dry

***WATCHING PAINT DRY***

I’ve done a lot of journals over the past few weeks talking about real life commitments. These commitments have kept me from meeting creative deadlines, but I don’t sweat it, because these house chores need to be done in a timely fashion. I’ll admit that all of these concerts I’ve been going to have been extracurricular when it comes to managing my energy, but there’s a reason I categorize them under life events on Face Book: because I may never get another chance to see these kick-ass bands in my home state. I’m pretty sure this is what that DeVry University commercial is talking about when they say, “Life is rich, full, and beautifully exhausting.”

The beautiful exhaustion will continue over the next few days, maybe even weeks. Ever since coming home from the Pain in the Grass festival on Sunday, I’ve been helping my family paint the walls of Reina and James’s bedrooms as well as helping them replace their flooring with new and fresh material. The next bedroom to be painted and remodeled will be mine. This whole process involves moving everything out of that particular room before the work is started. In my room alone, I have a computer desk, a Sleep Number bed, a book shelf, two chests of drawers, god knows what else.

Not only is this kind of intensive labor going to be taxing on my body and mind, but since my room is next, it means I’ll have to unplug my computer and move that somewhere else. I already have a bad internet connection now that the range extender in James’ room has been temporarily unplugged. Having an unplugged computer means minimal creative output and missed deadlines for beta reading and book reviewing. With that being said, I owe Andy Peloquin and Marie Krepps the biggest apologies for not being able to keep my commitments to them. Yes, I know that real life gets in the way of the most brilliant projects, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.

The entire month of August has been one chaotic cluster-fuck of physical labor and mental exhaustion. It’s taken a toll on the entire family. Forgive me if I sound whiny, because that’s not the message I’m trying to send. I love my family and I want us to live in a good-looking and clean house. All I’m saying is that if you don’t see me online for a while or if you’re getting impatient about a commitment I’ve made to you, this is why. I always pride myself on being there for the people in my life that matter the most. While my online friends fit that bill, my real life family fits it as well. This needs to be done and we’re not going to stop working until it is.

On that note, I’d like to thank all of you for being supportive and understanding during this tiring moment in our lives. Normalcy will be restored to this house soon enough. Until then, it’s time to shatter those millennial stereotypes of laziness and turn this house into a Port Orchard paradise!

***TELEVISION QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“We’re going to deal with this the way any reasonable adult would: by ignoring it.”

-Ric Flair on an episode of “Camp WWE”-