Femcel Fatale

VERSE 1 (FEMCEL)

“I can’t play a game of Magic worth a good goddamn

But I bet you’re just dying to know who I am

I’m the woman of your dreams, the very worst kind

Let my demonic image burn right into your mind

What’s your telephone number? I like to talk a lot

Tell you all my dark secrets so spicy and hot

You’re coming with me if you’re ready or not

This is red dead city, you just might get shot”

 

PRE-CHORUS 1 (FEMCEL & ME)

“Hey! You gave me the wrong phone number!”

You want to know why? I’ll tell you why…

 

CHORUS (ME)

‘Cause you’re a creep

You’re a weirdo

What the hell are you doing here?

You don’t belong here

 

VERSE 2 (FEMCEL)

“Let’s go to Mickey D’s for our platonic date

But “platonic” and “no” are the words that I hate

The two of us can split a small Shamrock Shake

Only got one straw, my germs are yours to take

But you got your own straw to save your chiseled jaw

I got a blackbelt in judo and I’ll wrestle you raw

Sorry for the information, it’s a normal conversation

One dirty thought away from craving masturbation”

 

PRE-CHORUS 2 (FEMCEL & ME)

“Well…I had fun today!”

That makes one of us, my non-babe

 

CHORUS (ME)

‘Cause you’re a creep

You’re a weirdo

What the hell are you doing here?

You don’t belong here

 

VERSE 3 (FEMCEL)

“It’s been months since we talked, where the hell’s my body chalk?

I want to kill every man on this earth that still walks

I got a new man who puts up with my bigotry

I like to wax poetic about all men’s idiocy

I’m a perfect little princess who can do no wrong

Unlike that lady Chyna who cut off her own shlong

I’ll keep running my mouth forever and a day

You want my first amendment rights? Come take them away”

 

PRE-CHORUS 3 (FEMCEL & ME)

“Come on, sit next to me on the couch!”

No thanks, I’d rather sit on a pin cushion

 

CHORUS (ME)

‘Cause you’re a creep

You’re a weirdo

What the hell are you doing here?

You don’t belong here

 

OUTRO (ME)

We’ll see each other again

Just kidding, you hate men

You’re not a feminist hero

You got a fan base of zero

Couldn’t find you with a Google search

You must have fucked off the face of the earth

Nothing of value was lost

Except for my sanity, it’s a heavy cost

Loser

VERSE 1

You can’t use your past as an excuse

To put everybody through verbal abuse

To blow like dynamite with a short fuse

To cry like a bitch for every time you lose

I don’t care how much money you make

It doesn’t give you the right to forsake

The ones who look up to you for guidance

You bullied them right into dead silence

CHORUS

You’re a loser

Acting so tough like a bruiser

You’re a loser

Lecturing me until I’m a snoozer

You’re a loser

Drunk off your power like a boozer

You’re a loser

You’re a loser!

VERSE 2

The day you left, I partied like a rock star

Cranked up the music, fucking rocked hard

Ate the biggest slice of cake I could find

So glad to leave your monster ass behind

CHORUS

You’re a loser

Acting so tough like a bruiser

You’re a loser

Lecturing me until I’m a snoozer

You’re a loser

Drunk off your power like a boozer

You’re a loser

You’re a loser!

BRIDGE

I tried to help, but you’re beyond redemption

I tried to talk, but you’re not worth the mention

I tried to love, but you could still cut the tension

I tried to leave, but you locked me in detention

VERSE 3

The memory remains even if it’s so distant

Exorcising you has been my adulthood mission

If it was really that easy, I’d have done it already

Ripped up your pictures into party confetti

Deleted your words from my darkest places

Put some paper bags over your angriest faces

Your history is mine to permanently erase

So why are you still getting on my fucking case?

CHORUS

You’re a loser

Acting so tough like a bruiser

You’re a loser

Lecturing me until I’m a snoozer

You’re a loser

Drunk off your power like a boozer

You’re a loser

You’re a loser!