For Daniel Mercer and his rock and roll crew, time moved
slowly and painfully in the confines of their dark holding cell. Pain and
disgust were etched on their faces as they ate spoiled bologna sandwiches
compliments of the state. Tarantula Man held his sandwich meat and stared at it
like it actually was a poisonous arachnid in his hand. His Islamic diet would
never allow him to eat such rancid garbage, so he flushed his food down the
toilet in the center of the cell and sat back down on the graffiti-covered
bench.
The cell had been deathly silent for what seemed like hours
(even though only one hour had passed). Every member of Demon Death Juice along
with the two pro-wrestlers sat with a miserable and pathetic hunched over
posture. As Bear Man tried to stomach the abomination he was feasting on, he
piped up, “I know we’re prisoners who’ve been stripped of our freedom, but do
we at least have the right to some mustard?!”
For Daniel, it wouldn’t have mattered if his sandwich was
covered in an entire bottle of condiments. He took a bite out of the center and
gagged so badly that he doubled over. He spit out what appeared to be a dead
mouse, complete with teeth marks and sloppy guts.
“Oh god, dear god…” Daniel kept repeating to himself as he
held his stomach and rushed over to the toilet. He vomited so hard that it
sounded like he was laying down vocals for the first Demon Death Juice album. Another
stream of masticated mush came up. And another. And another. Everybody sharing
his cell looked on with horror before throwing their sandwiches on the floor in
rebellion.
The Lord of the Pit wiped his mouth on his bare arm before
slowly standing up and approaching the bars with a predator’s pace. He grabbed
hold of them and yelled out to whoever would listen, “Whoever’s keeping us here
has a shit load of explaining to do! You arrested us for no fucking reason and
feed us these god awful sandwiches like we’re a bunch of goddamn dogs! We’ve
been sitting on our asses for who knows how long, so whoever’s out there, you’d
better get your ass over here and tell me what the hell’s going on!”
Daniel’s sentiments were echoed by his rock and roll troupe,
all five of them sitting up and roaring like animals. They sat back down again
at the shrill sound of metal banging on metal. Even the high and mighty Lord of
the Pit backed away to the center of the room. The clanging and banging turned
into something sharp being scraped across the bars. The prisoners winced and
held their ears at the awful shriek.
The sharp metal object stopped at the entrance to the
holding cell, where an oil lantern was lit and revealed a green-skinned man
holding a machete and wearing a black monk’s robe, complete with a hood
shrouding his face. The prisoner’s nerves were jittery and wild as Daniel said,
“No way. You can’t be!” The robed figure flipped his hood back and revealed the
sinister mug of Roger Zee, elven terrorist. His sharp-toothed grin sent chills
up everyone’s spines. Even Daniel was struggling to say, “I’ll be damned”
behind his quivering lips.
“Don’t act like you’ve never seen one of my kind before, Mr.
Mercer,” said Roger in his grating voice. “I bet you’re wondering what the hell
I’ve been doing this past month. I sure as hell wasn’t taking a nap. I also
didn’t spend my time behind a computer raving like a teenaged lunatic. On the
contrary, I’ve spent my last month of inactivity…getting to know some people
around here.”
Daniel crossed his arms and said, “Let me guess: you’re the
one who’s got Detective Henry’s balls in your pocket.”
“Not just his balls, my friend,” said Roger with a wag of
his long-nailed finger. “The whole department. I’ve got more balls in my pocket
than a game of billiards. Everybody in this god forsaken precinct has something
to protect, something to hide, something to lose. I had no idea your city cops
had so much to cover up. Racial profiling, racketeering, extortion, political
embezzlement, this shit goes on forever. But then again, they can’t all be
criminals who are willing to give me their puppet strings over some blackmail,
right? Well, not all of them. But enough. Most of them are just hardworking
family men who don’t want to see their precious demon seeds get hurt. I’ve got
enough connections to take over this entire city if I wanted to.”
“All this just to bring things back to the good old days,
huh?” said Daniel with a condescending smirk. “Well, the good old days weren’t
all that good! In your so called golden age, bigotry was considered normal,
death was the status quo, and beating your wife was an act of discipline. You
want to bring that shit back to life? Not on my watch, motherfucker!”
Roger bent backwards and chuckled before saying, “And how is
that any different than today’s world? Huh? Bigotry is still normal, death is
even more normal, and beating your wife is still a shit load of fun! I’m not
really changing much with my so called acts of terrorism. All I’m doing is
speeding up the inevitable. Surely, your friend Tarantula Man knows something
about this.”
Without his stage mask, Tarantula Man’s white hot angry
expression could be seen from the moon. He approached the bars with breakneck
speed and barked, “Don’t you ever talk about my religion that way! I am nothing
like what you hear in your little bubble! I’m going to raise my kids to be
respectful even when scumbags like you are hastening the inevitable as you
say!”
Roger held his lantern and machete-holding hands up in
defense and sarcastically apologized with, “Whoa, whoa, easy there, big man! I
believe you when you say you’re going to raise your children right! Okay?” The
elf leaned so close to Tarantula Man’s face that they were touching noses.
“After all, if they don’t act proper, you can always strap a suicide vest on
them.”
The Muslim rocker took a swing through the bars and got his
arm chopped off at the elbow for his efforts. He howled in miserable bloody
pain as he stumbled backwards on his ass with Bear Man and Lady Killer tending
to his wound.
“Anybody else want to try that shit with me?! Anybody?!” Roger
proudly challenged.
Johnny Vega and Sonia Marquez, the two beefy wrestlers
slowly stood up and took their places next to Daniel, who also had his muscles
bulging and pulsating like blood bombs ready to blow. Sonia stared a fireball
through Roger as she said, “If you still think beating women is a shit load of
fun, let’s see you try that on me, bitch!”
“You don’t have your stupid little crowns anymore, amigo,”
said Johnny while punching the bars. “Besides, it’s hard for someone like you
to wear a crown with your brains leaking all over the fucking floor!”
“You fucked with my friends one too many times,” said
Daniel, who was trembling with rage and ready to snap someone’s head off. “Up
until now, I’ve been backing away from you anytime I had an opening. You
chopped off my new friend’s arm. He’s never going to play guitar again because
of you. And you, you’re never going to eat solid food again because your
fucking teeth are going down your goddamn throat!”
Roger Zee laughed like a banshee and blew out the oil
lantern, covering the holding cell in shadows once again. Daniel and his
wrestler friends didn’t need the light to know where the elf was. They could
smell his dick-licking breath from a mile away. The door opened so slowly that
the hinges could be heard creaking and grinding.
Johnny, Sonia, and Daniel came out of the gates swinging
like wild brawlers. They were certain their savage punches hit their marks, because
they could feel the slimy flesh between their knuckles and fingers. Daniel even
pierced his knuckle on one of Roger’s sharp fangs, causing a liberal amount of
blood to flow from his hand. He didn’t give two shits and a flying fuck.
His veins were ready to blow like dynamite and he wouldn’t
stop punching until he heard Roger let out a pathetic squeal of pain.
“Ouch…ouch…no more…please…” Each cry for help was getting more sarcastic and it
all crescendoed with evil hyena laughter that had everyone in the cell on edge.
“My turn!” Roger shouted before the sounds of skin, organs, and bones being
slashed pierced Daniel’s ears, causing the traumatized rocker to shriek a
prolonged, “No!” and huddle to the ground in tears.
The oil lantern was alight once more and Roger waved the
device around the cell to show Daniel that he was right to be traumatized and
frightened. Pieces of his band mates and friends were scattered all over the
cell with blood drenching the floor. Their faces were hardly recognizable with
smashed skulls and popped out eyeballs. Daniel’s tears flooded down his face as
he saw that his last circle of friends had left his earth forever.
He truly was all alone in this world. Every time he brought
the metal scene back to life, it was taken away from him again. Every time he
tried to have a positive thought, it was slashed to pieces. Every time he tried
to live his life again, his happiness was ripped away from him like a teddy
bear in a crying child’s arms.
Roger set the lantern down and petted Daniel’s hair in mock
comfort while silently shushing him and whispering “sweet sounds” to him. “There,
there, my little child. All is not lost. You can call me your friend anytime
you want. You know what friends do when one of them is feeling down? We have
some fun together. Good…old fashioned…medieval…fun!”
The lantern was blown out yet again and Daniel felt himself
being dragged by his follicles across the bloody floor. He wished he had
drowned in his own tears and in his fallen friends’ blood, for it would have
been a friendlier ending to his story than whatever was about to happen to him
next. “Just kill me already!” he pleaded. “Kill me, damn it!”
