Monday, February 3, 2020

Not Reading Your Own Reviews


***NOT READING YOUR OWN REVIEWS***

If you’re an author or creator of any kind, there’s one universal fact that you’ll have to blindly accept right off the bat: you will have critics, you will have bad reviews, and there’s nothing you can do about it other than keep on keeping on. It took me a LONG ass time to accept this, but I’m in a better position in my life because I did. Everyone in your audience has a unique point of view and that’s the way it should be. You don’t get to be a ruthless North Korean dictator just because you have sensitive feelings. But having said all of this, while you’re required to accept the fact you will be criticized, you are NOT obligated to read your own negative reviews.

That’s not the same thing as accepting feedback from your inner circle. Beta readers and editors are there for the sole purpose of giving you constructive feedback and advice on how to fix your manuscript’s worst flaws. You should welcome these people into your life because that’s how you get better as a writer. But reviewers are an entirely different animal altogether. Once your book is published, all bets are off. Reviewers are not obligated to be kind or constructive. Their job is to give an honest opinion of the work in question, nothing more, nothing less. Reviews are not written for the benefit of the author. They’re for the benefit of future readers, whether it’s advice to stay away from the published work or gravitate towards it en masse.

But just because someone is entitled to their negative opinion of you and your work, it doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to read what they have to say. That should be reserved for the beta readers and editors. Getting negative reviews is stressful. I know this because I’ve gotten a few of them myself (surprise, surprise) and haven’t brought myself to read what they actually say. You could argue that I’m a special little snowflake who gets easily hurt and you’d be right in that regard. Having a litany of mental health issues weakens my defenses when it comes to receiving harsh words. I want desperately to be a superhuman badass in the face of adversity, but I don’t get to have that choice. It seems as though every one of my author friends is secretly Superman or Wonder Woman, but I forget that they too have bad days when it comes to criticism. The only difference is, they have the ability to endure more than I can and it shows in their marketing schemes.

I’ve been watching a lot of Book Tube lately and had a nice little marketing strategy in mind: sending copies of my already published books to them and having them make videos about their honest opinions. I enjoy watching creators like Krimson Rogue, Rachel Oates, and Jordan Harvey work their magic. They’re entertaining, they’re thoughtful, they’re wise, and they’re the perfect candidates for reviewing my books, right? Well, that’s where my overactive, anxious imagination comes into play. I’ve played out tear-jerking scenarios in my head where these Book Tubers create videos bashing the shit out of my works and sending their viewers over to my social media to mob me out of existence. I know full well they’re not mean people. In fact, most of them don’t believe in cancel culture. But the thoughts have crossed my mind nonetheless and they’re maddening.

If they hypothetically were to give my books negative reviews, it’s not like they’d be entirely wrong in their opinions. Over the past decade, I’ve written some disgusting, nasty, overbearing shit and it’s only a matter of time before someone’s head explodes from reading it all. It could be Mitch McLeod coming off as a Gary-Stu. It could be me having a laugh at the expense of people from the south. Hell, one scenario I’ve imagined (but not realized yet) is Krimson Rogue jokingly calling one of my poetry books Confessions of a Schizophrenic Misogynist. For Christ’s sake, the book starts off by saying, “True blue, I don’t need a 62, your wife’s sweet juices will just have to do.” I don’t want to say that’s a red flag, but…well, it’s a red flag. A BIG fucking red flag.

Yes, my writing career has stagnated due to my lack of marketing prowess. Yes, I know what I need to do to fix that. But am I prepared for the consequences of doing so? Far from it. I’ve been mobbed online before and it’s not fun. Hell, I’ve gotten sad and angry when the harsh criticism was delivered in a gentle way. Like I said, I long for the day when I can be an ultra-tough superman, but I also know that day is never going to come, not in my condition. I firmly believe mental toughness is something you’re born with. Sure, you could sign up for the army and grow accustomed to having a drill instructor scream in your face 24/7, but if you’re not already mentally tough, that won’t build you up; it’ll knock your ass down for the count. I was born sensitive and I’ll take that to the grave with me several decades down the line.

So…if I were to follow through with my plan to allow Book Tubers to review what I’ve got and give an honest opinion, I should include one condition to the deal: that no matter how offensive the content is, we will still be friends. I’ll gladly agree to my end of that deal. If they give me one and two-star reviews, I will still think of them as my favorite friends. But will they feel the same about me? Yes, I consider some of these Book Tubers to be friends despite not knowing them well enough. Maybe I’m just a fan of their work and don’t want to be cast down by my own heroes. Maybe this condition isn’t necessary at all. But no matter if I include this provision or not, I still remain firm in my belief that reading my own reviews and watching my own response videos will only do more harm than good. Yes, I’d get the exposure I need, but like I said earlier, reviews are not for authors; they are for other readers. True critiques will come from your beta readers and editors. Hannah Lee Kidder, the author of Little Birds, agrees wholeheartedly with me and she’s more successful than I am at the moment, so if you can’t take my word for it, take hers.

If you want a copy of any of my books and you want to give an honest review of it, don’t be afraid to reach out to me. Your opinion matters. Nobody can take that away from you. Here’s my bibliography:

  1. Occupy Wrestling (pro-wrestling urban fantasy novella)
  2. American Darkness (contemporary micro-fiction collection)
  3. Poison Tongue Tales (sci-fi, fantasy, and horror micro-fiction collection)
  4. Confessions of a Schizophrenic Savage (poetry and songs)
  5. Necrograph (more poetry and songs)
  6. Lunatic Justice (even more poetry and songs)
  7. Still Standing (anti-bullying anthology alongside other authors)

Which one of you wants a nice reading adventure? I’m all ears! I’m Garrison Kelly! Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!


***BEAUTIFUL MONSTER PROGRESS***

It’s been a long time in between edit jobs, but as of today, I’ve completed a chapter-by-chapter synopsis, a prologue, and six opening chapters. Chapter seven will be the one where Shelly Atwood and one of her minions give Windham Xavier a bath. What could be so exciting about that, you ask? First of all, as I’ve already established, Shelly Atwood has no business touching Windham on any part of this body, much less when he’s butt naked in bath water. Eventually, he’s going to have to make a break for it. And he just fucking might!


***LYRICS OF THE DAY***

“This world asks for so much. Despite what you give, it’s just never enough. Then you’re left cold, tired, and alone. Searching for something that’s already gone. You try not to be afraid. Bound down by all of these things that they say. And you feel like you’re all by yourself. But I’ll be right here when there’s nothing left. Your fears, they know that you’re scared. Wherever you go, they seem to meet you there. And you face them all on your own. Never the weak, always the strong. And you win most of the time. Never once claiming that victory’s mine. And you carry this burden alone. But this candle’s burned at both ends for so long. Lay down. Rest here in peace in my arms now knowing you’re safe from the storms and the rain and from all of your pain. And I’ll be here when only the silence remains.”

-3 Doors Down singing “The Silence Remains”-

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