Demon Axe, Chapter 4

After so many days of reliving nightmare after nightmare, a blank gray dream was soothing to Daniel Mercer’s brain. This was the one part of his day-to-day life where being spacey and numb was perfectly acceptable. No racing thoughts, no bloody traumas, no rapid heartbeats, just a slow, drowsy screen of gray and a relaxed body and mind. Daniel was so out of it that the mere act of lifting a body part was more taxing than trying to lift the heaviest stone. He didn’t give two shits about the piles of bills sitting on his coffee table or the general messiness of his house. The garbage-smelling laundry and filth-encrusted dishes could wait just one more night of Novocain bliss.

He could have stayed in bed all night and sank into his mattress like quicksand if it wasn’t for this painful and heavy sensation in his bladder. He opened his eyes halfway and slurred his words when he said, “Goddamn it.” The minute he left his hazy cloudland, the numbed out feeling returned to his brain. Wearing little more than a T-shirt and athletic shorts, Daniel eased his way out of bed and bumped into every wall, corner, and piece of furniture on his way to the bathroom, only giving a minimal, “Ow!” every time.

Releasing his waterfall of urine into the toilet was the only thing more pleasurable than having a dreamless sleep. With the halogen lights burning his eyeballs and forcing them open, Daniel leaned his head backwards as the last of his fluids emptied into the foamy toilet. He didn’t even bother flushing or washing his hands. He stumbled right to the sink and splashed cold water in his face, as if that would actually ease the never-ending ache in his mind.

Looking into the mirror and seeing an elf woman standing behind him sent a jolt throughout Daniel’s body and caused him to scream as he turned around. His breathing was heavy and raspy, like a shot of adrenaline had just pierced his heart Pulp Fiction-style. “This better be a fucking dream,” Daniel struggled to say. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you Dungeons & Dragons motherfuckers ever again!”

Compared to the elf terrorist at the concert, this woman was a breath of fresh air, though still an elf and still worthy of xenophobia, in Daniel’s mind. Her long black hair, pale green skin, and plump cherry lips gave her the appearance of a sex goddess. Her studded leather armor fit around her like a one-piece bathing suit. Her furry brown boots kept the longest knife tucked away in the most obvious spot, keeping away anybody thinking of screwing with her.

Her arms were folded against her chest and her quarter-smile accented her sarcasm as she shook her head at the pathetic-looking Daniel Mercer. “You share the stage with people from all walks of life and you still have enough hatred in your heart to disparage an entire race of people. That’s okay, though. I understand people of your world aren’t quite used to seeing my race just yet. Up until Roger Zee invaded your concert, we’ve done a fairly good job of keeping quiet among the masses.”

Daniel wheezed and laughed as he held the edges of the sink to keep from falling over. “His name is Roger Zee? Wow. Holy shit! If he wasn’t so good with a machete, nobody would be afraid of this fucking clown. It’s like my man George Carlin once said: there would have never been a World War II if Hitler’s first name was Floyd. They would have beaten the shit out of him in Munich in 1931.”

“Mockery aside, that’s exactly what I came here talk to you about: Roger Zee. I didn’t want to knock on your door, because my race is still trying to keep quiet about its existence. But I hear the whispers. I see the television screens. The racism and xenophobia of your pundits is astounding,” said the elf woman.

“Welcome to America, babe,” said Daniel in a disturbingly nonchalant way. “I don’t like the bigotry either, but it doesn’t really matter what I think anymore. I’m just one guy. I used to have three other guys with me, but they’re all fucking dead and my vote didn’t matter anyways because the system sucks. I’m forty years old and I can safely say that after what happened at the concert, nothing shocks me anymore.”

The elf woman placed her soft hands on Daniel’s shoulders and said in a low voice, “I can see you’ve gone through a lot over the past few days. We all have. But instead of coming together and living as one, all I see from your people is hatred and division. They don’t know what to do about Roger and his rampage. But I do. I know exactly what it takes to bring him down. But I can’t do it without your help.”

Daniel gave the elf woman a raised eyebrow of confusion before pushing her hands off of his shoulders. “You know the dark fantasy shit is just a gimmick, right? We didn’t actually do any weird ass rituals backstage during a Demon Axe show. It’s a motivational tactic. I’m not a warrior by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve been in a few barroom brawls, but nothing beyond that. Fighting a bunch of drunken losers isn’t going to prepare me for a madman with a goddamn machete. Sorry, lady, but you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

The former Lord of the Pit tried to walk away, but felt his hand being tugged on by the elf warrior’s silky grip. This would have been lovely to him if he wasn’t trying to get a good night’s sleep and forget all of this “happy horseshit”. The elf said, “If you don’t want to fight alongside me, then at least agree to get out of this place for your own safety. Roger isn’t done with you. You played what he calls ‘sinful music’ on holy grounds. As a zealot, he’s not going to forgive you that easily.”

Daniel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before saying, “You know what, lady? If this Roger Ball Z guy wants to slash me open, I’m not entirely against it. I’ve been having traumatic nightmares left and right and getting my head cut off might be the best thing for me right now. I’m done with life. If I can’t play badass fucking music with my friends, then I don’t want to live anymore. Fuck it, I’m done.”

The rock star jerked his hand away from the woman’s grip and trudged slowly on his way back to his bedroom. “So that’s it, huh?” the elf said. “You’re just going to let Roger win that easily?” Daniel stopped and listened. “I thought your race didn’t negotiate with terrorists. I thought you were all about truth, justice, and the American way. I thought you people shot off pyrotechnics every year to celebrate your patriotism. Are you telling me that you’re all out of firepower?”

Daniel shot the elf woman an insidious glare before marching back to her with fists clenched and feet pounding. “You know what?” he shouted while pointing his index finger at her. “You’re absolutely right! You’re one hundred percent on the dot! I should be like those assholes out there who like to play army and form my own fucking militia! I should go to a gun show and buy every bazooka, every AK-47, every Sherman Tank that they’ve got and blast that motherfucking elf right out of the ground! And then I’ll stand on top of his corpse with an American flag in one hand and a greasy ass cheeseburger in the other! And then we’ll all gather in a circle and chant ‘USA! USA! USA! USA!’.”

The moment of rage turned so awkwardly quiet that the heavy breathing between Daniel and the elf could be heard from a mile away. The former Lord of the Pit continued his tirade with, “That shit may be acceptable in Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but in the real world, this shit hurts so badly that we feel it forever. The good guys sometimes lose. The police are not always on your side. The politicians don’t give a shit about anybody but themselves. As long as this country is occupied by selfish ignorant people, nobody can do a goddamn thing about Roger fucking Zee!”

The elf woman’s expression changed from brave cheerleading to vulgar disgust. She shook her head and said, “You’re right. Demon Axe is just a gimmick. You’re no different from any other musician who sings about being tough and mighty in the face of danger. What was I thinking coming here? That battleaxe microphone you used is nothing more than a toy. I’m sorry your band mates were led to believe that the whole gimmick was just a lie. It was a little white lie that cost them their lives. And now you don’t want to put in any work to avenge their souls. Good day to you, Lord of the Pit!”

She stomped her way to the front door when Daniel stopped her by shouting, “Who in the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?! You don’t know me! You’re just a fan girl who probably downloaded my band’s albums for free! Hell, you’re worse than that! You’re a groupie!” The elf woman stopped at that insult and turned around to stare daggers into her assailant. “That’s right! You’re a groupie who rides every dick to the top of the mountain! Oh, did I touch a nerve? Is that not who you are? Well, then answer my fucking question, you crazy bitch! Who in the hell do you think you are?!”

The woman marched up to Daniel and slapped him across the face with a shot so stiff that it knocked him on his back. The rock star clutched his stinging, burning cheek with both calloused hands while the elf pointed at him and said in a menacing voice, “I’ll tell you who I am. My name is Raven Triscloud. I am the daughter of King Arthur Triscloud and the only reason my people will know any kind of salvation. If you won’t help me take down a nationalistic zealot like Roger Zee, then I’ll be more than happy to take him on myself. I just thought maybe you’d like some closure. But instead, all you want is sweet, sweet death. If I didn’t have any fucking principles, I’d kill you myself. But for now, I have a terrorist to catch. Enjoy your sleep, you cowardly human!”