Cemetery Gate

A vacation getaway at Stone Mountain was just what AJ Robbins and Eve Mills needed to clear their heads and recharge their batteries. For the lovely brunette Eve, kayaking down the river and hiking nature trails made her feel relaxed at the end of the day. AJ, on the other hand, always seemed jumpy at the possibility of wildlife, shivered at the thought of drowning in the river, and was winded from the long days of activity. When Eve snuggled under the covers at night in their rented cabin, she was smiling calmly. When AJ snuggled with her, he was shaky and nervous.

On the last night of their vacation, AJ was sitting at the fireplace of their cabin cooking juicy and tender steaks. It was the only time he seemed at peace with himself, the mindless activity, the warmth of the fire, and the smell of the oak.

But this was more than just a simple case of introversion vs. extroversion. Eve was watching her man from the comfort of the sofa. Judging from AJ’s nervous shaking and quick exhaustion, she knew something was bothering him. Before actually agreeing to this vacation, he was adamant about it being an alternative to going to their tenth annual high school reunion. He was keeping a secret deep down inside and Eve intended to flush it out.

The slender lady looked comfortably sexy in her navy blue college sweatpants, white T-shirt, and bare feet. She smiled her warmest smile as she approached AJ with the intention of massaging his shoulders. The minute those lovely hands touched down on his flannel shirt, the blond pony tailed boyfriend jumped nervously once again, his only means of quiet erased for the rest of the evening.

“Jesus, honey, don’t ever sneak up on me like that again. You almost made me drop the steaks into the fire,” said AJ. He was cooking them on a cast iron skillet that was suspended over the cracking flames.

“I’m sorry, dear. I was just trying to give you a back rub,” said Eve with her hand on her man’s shoulder. “This is supposed to be a vacation and yet here you are looking stressed out all the time. This is supposed to be your way out of going to our high school reunion.”

“I know what it’s supposed to be!” snapped AJ as he turned his head around and stood up shortly after. Eve was beginning to backpedal in slight fear. Her boyfriend then steadied his voice and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

Knowing the apology was genuine, Eve held both of AJ’s hands in hers and looked lovingly into his icy blue eyes with a hint of concern. “You’ve been acting funny ever since we got here. You never acted this way before. Ever since I mentioned the possibility of us going to that reunion, you’ve become a completely different person.” Eve wrapped her affectionate, slender arms around AJ’s neck and asked, “Are you hiding something from me? If you have something to say, you need to say it.”

AJ sighed and brushed his girlfriend’s arms away before dejectedly saying, “Leave me alone.” and plopping down on the hemp cushioned sofa.

Eve folded her arms and said, “Actually, no, I’m not going to leave you alone. You know why? Because I love you and I don’t want any secrets to get in the way of our relationship. Come on, AJ, admit it. You are acting strangely.”

The boyfriend shrugged his shoulders and mouthed a few indecipherable words before saying, “I don’t want to talk about it. I really don’t. I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you want to hear, but some things should just be left alone.” He pointed at his own forehead and said, “You see this? This is a cemetery gate to all the things that go on in my brain. When you bring up bad memories, you’re committing grave robbery.”

“So you admit that there’s something bothering you right now,” said Eve Mills.

Once again, AJ Robbins shrugged his shoulders and tried to put together a sentence. He finally succeeded in doing so when he said, “What difference does it make? I mean, that shit was ten years ago! Ten years! You’re going to bring up things from ten years ago?! What are you, my fucking shrink?!”

“No, AJ, I’m your girlfriend. Sometimes I have to play the role of your mother, but most of the time, I’m your girlfriend. As such, if something’s wrong with my man, I need to take care of him and make sure he’s okay. I’m going to ask you this one more time, AJ: what’s going on here?”

AJ quickly stood up and stared daggers at his girlfriend as he made his way to the fireplace to check on the steaks. He used a metal spatula to put one on each plate and then delivered Eve her meal. “You hungry? Eat up.”

Eve stared daggers right back at her boyfriend. She took her steak off the plate and never broke eye contact as she trudged to the window and tossed it outside for the squirrels and rabbits of Stone Mountain. “Actually, AJ, no, I’m not hungry. In fact, I feel kind of sick to my stomach right now.” Her voice was getting progressively louder as she spoke. “I’m sick of the fact that I’m helpless to do anything for you because you won’t open up about what’s bothering you! This isn’t just a little annoyance we’re talking about here! This is something that’s affecting both of us! We came to Stone Mountain to have a good time and to relax! You clearly haven’t been able to do either and now you’re pretty much ruining our time together! So much for that five hundred dollar deposit!”

AJ threw his steak plate against the adjacent wall and watched the drippy piece of meat slime it’s way down the oak wood. Eve jumped backwards in fear against the sofa before AJ stood over her and made his announcement: “I’m gay.”

A deafening silence stood between them with AJ’s muscles tensing and Eve’s eyes getting teary eyed and her body shaking. After a while of sharing the only peace and quiet they could get together, AJ Robbins sat down on the sofa next to Eve Mills and said, “That’s what’s been bothering me all this time. I love you, Eve, but not in that way. I probably should have told you earlier, but…I just couldn’t. I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to end this way.”

Eve’s tears started piling up in her eyes and she could do nothing but bury her face in her hands and sob away. AJ patted her on the back and said, “That’s right, Eve. Cry it all out. Get those tears out of your system. You know who else feels like crying right now? Me. I’ve been wanting to cry since I was eighteen years old and going to high school. But men aren’t allowed to cry, you see, because that makes us weak and that reinforces the “faggot” stereotype.”

Eve breathed heavily in and out as she was sobbing. She slowly lifted her face out of her hands and looked her boyfriend in the eyes. “A whole year, AJ. You let a whole year of our relationship go by without telling me this. Why? Why would you do this to me?”

“You know what? You’re right. You’re one hundred percent right,” said AJ sarcastically as he stood up and paced around the log cabin to make his emotional oratory. “If I had just advertised my sexuality a long time ago, none of this would have happened! Because that’s what gay people like me do: we go around advertising ourselves like common whores! That way, there will be no surprises after the football team beats the shit out of us and calls us faggots and queers! Or in my case, getting sodomized by the FUCKING CAPTAIN!!”

The outburst that oozed with sarcasm and anger brought an even more powerful flood of tears from Eve Mills’ eyes. “I’m sorry, AJ! I didn’t mean it like that! I just wanted to know what was going on with you!”

“Are you happy now? Are you happy to learn that not only is your boyfriend gay, but he also got raped in high school? Does that tickle your fancy? Does that butter your bread? Come on, Eve, pull your head from your ass! Not everything has to be black and white! But then again, I think that crucifix around your neck is cutting off the blood flow to your brain!”

Eve’s shirt was stained with a million teardrops and her heart was shattered like a pot of roses. She allowed her emotional silence to speak volumes about how hurt she was. But just when it looked like she didn’t know how to react, she stood up slowly and sluggishly approached her then-boyfriend. Her face was wet, her lips were pouting, and her nose was running. But just like old times, she held AJ’s hands in hers with so much tenderness.

“Listen to me, AJ,” said Eve in a soft and tender voice. “You are who you are and I am who I am. I know this will never work between us and I’m actually glad this all came out before we had the chance to marry. But…” She was taking heavy breaths of sorrow. “If we can just put aside everything for one minute, I have one last thing I want you to do for me and then we’ll go our separate ways. AJ? I want you to hug me as tight as you can. We don’t have to kiss. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I just want a hug. You probably wouldn’t like my dad given what you’ve said about my crucifix, but the one way he would always make me feel better was by hugging me. It felt so warm.”

“That’s all you want, Eve? A simple hug?” asked AJ in a soft voice.

“Yes, AJ, that’s all I want. I still do love you and I always will. But if this is goodbye, then I want my new life to start out the right way,” said Eve in a trembling voice. A moment of hesitation stood between them. And then there it was: the all-important embrace that felt warmer than any fireplace could. Eve’s tears were drying up quickly and AJ was able to feel peace once again. A hug. A simple hug was what concluded a year of misguided romance. And it was a simple hug that started things over again.