3 From Hell

MOVIE TITLE: 3 From Hell
DIRECTOR: Rob Zombie
YEAR: 2019
GENRE: Serial Killer Horror
RATING: R for violence, language, and nudity
GRADE: Fail

Being a naysayer isn’t easy for me, especially when the director is a musician I’ve seen twice in concert and own every album of. I went into this movie with an open mind like I always do. And really, who wouldn’t want to watch a bloody movie with gritty dialogue and three serial killers for main characters? You’ve got Otis Driftwood, a Charles Manson-like murderer with a nihilistic agenda and the mouth of a sailor. You’ve got his half-brother Foxy Coltrane, who howls like a wolf and shoots like a redneck. And then you’ve got Baby Firefly, Otis’s psychotic sister who could basically be described as Harley Quinn on steroids. The performances of these three characters were…kind of convincing? I guess? Maybe their body of work in this movie was overshadowed by the cheesiness of the story and side characters. That’s unfortunately a theme going into this review: cheesier than a pepperoni pizza. Some people don’t mind cheesiness. Me? It became too much for me.

One of the ways in which the cheesiness hampers the film is in the violence. Stabbing, shooting, skinning, torture, these are all things that are supposed to look disturbing on the screen, especially considering this movie is in the horror genre. But something about these killings made them lackluster. Maybe it happened too often to be special. Maybe it’s recycled bloodshed from movies of the past. Or maybe there’s not a whole lot creative about stabbing and shooting in the first place. Even the scene where a Mexican gangster is burned alive felt like a moment of meh. While Otis, Foxy, and Baby were all convincing as serial killers, they didn’t actually scare me to the point of this movie qualifying for the horror label. The actors did everything they could to bring the bloodshed to life, but it wasn’t enough. Something was off about this brand of violence and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I wanted to care, but I couldn’t.

Something else that bothered me was the idea that the antagonists had multiple chances to off the three killers and they didn’t capitalize. These antagonists had guns, knives, and everything in between. They even had numbers on their side and still couldn’t get the job done. You know what really sets the tone for this theme of going too easy on the killers? In the beginning, they were shown getting life-saving treatment at the hospital just so Captain Spalding (from the previous Rob Zombie movie) could die by lethal injection and be replaced by Foxy. If these killers are so dangerous, why even bother saving their lives? Why bother giving them their own fan club? Yeah, I know hybristophilia is a real thing, but even that came off as cheesy and forced.

Are we going to get a fourth movie in this Rob Zombie franchise? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? If the negative reaction to 3 From Hell is any indication, then maybe it’s time to hang up the boots. Perhaps if there is a fourth movie, it’ll rejuvenate the franchise. But getting the audience to go to that fourth movie would require a lot of faith, most of which was broken by this cheesy effort called 3 From Hell. A failing grade goes to this piece of horror cinema. I wanted to like it, but I couldn’t get into it, especially as the story progressed and somehow got boring after the initial shock wore off. This movie is no good. Sorry, Rob. You tried.