"So Long" by Saliva

It seems as though every time I write a blog entry about one of my favorite songs, there are several recurring themes: regret, loss of friendship, trauma, loneliness, depression, anger, madness, god knows what else. It would appear this entry about “So Long” by Saliva is more of the same. I listened to this song a lot in college because it was there to comfort me when I was lonely. Nobody to come visit me in my dorm, no family to be around, no animals to take care of, just me and the soothing vocals of Josey Scott, who’s normally known for being a badass redneck on the microphone. He and Saliva write this one song together and the waterworks are almost there once again.

You’ve been reading my blog for a long time and I appreciate that. But I sense you’re getting tired of the constant themes of sadness and anger. It feels monotonous. If it ever does feel that way to you, it’s because my life is monotonous. I wake up, put my time in on the computer, go shopping, and go back to bed. Rinse, lather, repeat. Rinse, lather, repeat. Nothing changes. I could make some changes myself if I wanted to. I could stop being afraid of the consequences of stress. I could take driving lessons and not be dependent on others. I could get a part time job doing something I actually enjoy. While there are forces in place that keep me from changing my life, most if it is because I’m afraid of being stressed out to where I can’t take it anymore.

“Pushing forward in reverse, it gets better then it gets worse, I’m tied for last place when you taught me to be first.” You know what that phrase means to me and my monotonous life? It means I have all of these creative skills and yet I don’t use them in a way that moves my life forward. Yeah, I can self-publish all the e-books I want. I can write as many blog entries as I want. I can draw all the cartoonish pictures I want. If nobody notices, I’m merely kidding myself when it comes to the American Dream coming true. My career is at a crossroads right now. I have both the fear of being noticed and not being noticed. One of these roads leads to boredom. The other could lead to humiliation and vilification.

“So long. When will I see you again? It’s been so long I don’t know where to begin.” That’s the question I pose to all of you right now. When will I see you again? What do I have to do to see you again? What could I possibly do for you that will grab your attention and never let go? Do you want to be showered in compliments? I can be sweet if you want me to. In fact, being sweet has gotten me to great heights in my life. The fact still remains it’s not enough to be a good person. Then again, if being a villain is what it takes to move my life forward, then I don’t want that either.

If you’re looking for a song to be there for you when you’re down, try “So Long” by Saliva. It won’t judge you. It may hurt for a little while, but then again, you’re already fucked up in the head anyways. You’ve probably gone insane from doing the same thing every day and expecting different results. That’s okay, I have too. Then again, I don’t know what about my game needs to change for things to happen. Should I be more open with the people I meet? Should I talk to people and hope at least one of those people has the keys to the kingdom? If I ever get those keys, what door do I have to unlock? If this ever feels like your own thought process, go to iTunes and get this song.

　

***MOVIE QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“If I’m curt with you, it’s because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and you guys had better act fast if you want to get yourselves out of this. So pretty please with sugar on top, clean the fucking car.”

-Winston Wolf from “Pulp Fiction”-