Isao Qing

Isao Qing is one of the few characters in my arsenal who I consider to be a “double agent”. In other words, I’ve used his name in two different stories for two different characters. He was a ghost ninja villain in Say Goodbye and a former welterweight MMA champion in a Dungeons & Dragons session I did with internet friends. Perhaps these two personalities can do a “fusion-ha!” like they do in Dragon Ball Z. Then again, I haven’t seen very many ghosts in mixed-martial arts. Being undead would give them an unfair edge, despite the fact there’s a UFC fighter who calls himself “The Korean Zombie”. Oh well.

In the modern fantasy movie script Say Goodbye, Isao Qing was a lackey for the main villain of the story, a pig warlock named Zod Ragefist. Zod saw all of his minions as disposable commodities, but Isao Qing in his ghostly ninja glory was far from worthless. When bounty hunters go after his boss in the fetid jungle, Isao visits the home of one of the bounty hunters and holds his wife and autistic kid hostage.

When the bounty hunter calls home to see how things are going, Isao takes a page out of George Carlin’s playbook and says, “Your wife can’t come to the phone right now, she’s seriously injured. She was lighting a fart and her bush caught on fire.” Isao was asking for trouble and praying for victory at the same time, just like the badass he was.

Isao’s presence in the Dungeons & Dragons role-play wasn’t nearly as impressive as when he did Say Goodbye. Yes, he was a former mixed-martial arts welterweight champion, but the only reason he got a shot at the title was because the original champion, a half-orc barbarian named Agrusk, was found dead in his home from videogame addiction.

So Isao is the number one contender for the welterweight title and wins the gold. At the next pay-per-view event, he has to defend it against a humanoid tiger named Bob Rua. Isao is defeated via head kicks in just ten seconds to lose the title. He tried to calm down with a massage afterwards, but he couldn’t relax as he just kept repeating to himself, “Ten seconds…ten seconds…ten seconds…”

Determining which version of Isao Qing I want to reuse isn’t rocket science: I want the badass ghost ninja with the silver tongue and the mystical katana. Unfortunately, I haven’t been using very many ninja characters in my short stories lately. Truth be told, I’m not the greatest at doing internet research since my lack of patience and lack of a filter for the articles I find keep me from accomplishing anything.

I know ninjas are black-clad assassins who are supposed to be quick and sneaky. I also know they’re supposed to be exceptional martial artists. The general idea of what a ninja should be is branded in my brain. The cultural aspects are not. When I make a ninja character, I don’t take into account things like honor and respect, just being a badass killer. If I do use Isao Qing as a ghost ninja, it will be a tough decision to make.

　

***WRESTLING QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“I’m going to leave John Cena in a pile of blood, urine, and vomit.”

-Brock Lesnar-