Crystal Math

If Danica McKellar can write a book called “Kiss My Math”, then I can write one called “Crystal Math” and use the blurb “There’s never been a better time to get high…grades in school.” Let’s face it, you just might have to be high on drugs in order to understand some of these “laws”, especially if you’re taking physics. For me, math was a hit and miss subject. Whenever I took a class, I was either really good or really bad. I either got A’s and B’s or I got C’s and D’s. I remember one point in my scholastic career in which algebra came naturally to me. It was ironically enough during my freshman year of high school, where as many of you know I’ve had a lot of PTSD problems floating in my head. I was so good at math at the time that I would be happy to tell you what the cube root of 27 was. It’s 3, by the way. But math class was also the birthplace of where all this psychological torment began. Who would’ve guessed that simply standing next to an unattractive woman would spark a firestorm of rumors about how the two of us were in love (even though it was nowhere near true).  This all happened in 2000. A little under a decade and a half later, I have a dream about writing a book for my math class called “Crystal Math”. I wake up from that same dream without ever knowing what in the world would make me qualified to write a book about math. Realistically, I could write a book where math puzzles are used as obstacles for my characters. But a how-to guide on math? Not with a D+ in physics and a W in advanced computer science. So what exactly could this dream be telling me? That there was a time when I was good at math despite the hardships I went through, but I’m not anymore? If that’s the case, my subconscious is either telling me that the war is over or I’m a has-been. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. Maybe it’s trying to tell me that after everything I’ve been through, I can’t salvage the remains, because there are no remains. If it’s all the same to my innermost thoughts, then I don’t need remains to build a future. The past is something to be left behind. The present and the future are all that remains. The dream could be creative fuel, but the memories are not. My emotional makeup may be a byproduct of my memories, but if I let a whole bunch of crappy memories rule my life, I wouldn’t be here in Port Orchard telling you about it. I’d be locked away in a mental institution, most likely. The lesson of the day is, let the past be the past. If you can’t forget the past, seek professional help until you can. Nothing is worth agonizing over. If you let trauma rule your life, how exactly are you going to find the concentration to read “Crystal Math”? It won’t be on the shelves for a long time, but hopefully you understand my point.

　

***ANIME QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“Every boy has the right to dream. Every man has the means to make those dreams come true.”

-Outlaw Star-